How to feed 35 people on a budget

[Spottybotty20]

My SIL had organised a meal for her 30th birthday in a posh restaurant with us, them, and 5 other couples. Her MIL (not my mum) has ruined all the plans calling her self indulgent and grabby for asking her friends to come for a meal and pay for themselves. This is fairly normal in all our friendship groups but has upset her so much she has cancelled it all.

I’ve now said I will throw her a garden party instead but the guest list has crept up to 30 adults and 5 kids (not her inviting more - just family all wanting to come too)

How can I feed them all, without costing myself a fortune and it still having the classy birthday meal vibe she was going for?

Take a large piece of paper.
Write thereon “Dear SiL, MiL is being a 24 carat bitch; ignore her, go back to plan A. We love you and are all looking forward to it.”

I actually agree with PP, she should get her meal at the ivy even if it is for fewer people if that's what she had her heart set on.

I would not be proposing a full meal for everyone in the garden instead (and trying to replicate ivy level luxury) maybe afternoon tea of cake and sandwiches, then if people can't afford/attend the big meal, they can still celebrate.

Yeah I think I would go afternoon tea as well.

You could genuinely easily make enough scones for 30 - you'd need about 6lb of flour (1 decent sized fruit and 1 decent sized cheese each) and I think you'd have to do them in 3 batches but it shouldn't take more than a couple of hours.

Sandwiches, again either buy or cheap and easy to do yourself if you can make a friend/relative come over and sort them in the dining room. Waitrose etc will all sell suitable options.

Then I think I would want to do some nice extras - the place I went to did a tiny coronation chicken role, a baby Welsh rarebit and a tiny sausage role. You could again get the small rolls from Waitrose and the sausage rolls. Welsh rarebit super simple to at home or leave it out.

Cakes and patisserie again I think could be bought quite successfully.

Costing that up:

Scones will be £4-5 in ingredients plus clotted cream and jam (don't skimp on the jam or the cream) so call that £20 all in?

Sandwiches if bought would probably be £3-4 a head, so £140 but if you made them you'd get 3 finger sandwiches out of two slices of bread. Usually 14 slices in a loaf. So you'd need about 7 loaves of bread. Cucumber and cream cheese, smoked salmon, cheese and pickle and then either egg mayonnaise or a ham option would probably make sense. So the cucumber and cream cheese won't be more than £6-7? Cheese and pickle similar, and ham/egg. Smoked salmon probably £15-20 if you buy from Lidl/Aldi. So that's going to be £40 ish.

That then leaves £140 for things like buying the patisserie, tiny rolls etc. I think that would be eaten up fairly quickly buying catered food.

So then either ask family to bring a bottle of bubbly or alternatively a cake and use some of the budget on bubbly (depending what you think they'd prefer to do).

Ask local village halls/scout groups/WIs if you can borrow their giant teapots. Not sure where you'd get enough cups from, again possibly hire from local village hall? Some places do free glass hire for the bubbly if you buy wine from them.

How has it spiralled from 5/6 couples having a glamorous night out to now 35 guests in your home to be catered for?

Is it because the MIL wasn’t invited on the night out (not surprised! keep it that way…) honestly go back to her original wishes and plans and then if necessary have tea and cake for immediate family only in the garden the next day.

This because refrigeration will be hard too unless you have a big catering fridge!

My friend did a big party recently and asked us to bring a slow cooker with curry/pulled pork/chill. Then just did loads of lovely fresh bread, microwave rice, cheese, olives. There was loads to go around.

This is by far the cheapest option. Your only big outlay is clotted cream. But on a budget this can be double cream, vanilla and icing sugar whipped up carefully.

The most authentic afternoon tea sandwiches are thinly sliced fresh white bread and thinly sliced cucumber with crusts cut off. Cut into three strips.

Pretty birthday cakes cut into slices, trays of sandwiches, and home made scones. It's an easy and effective way to cater for lots of people.

You'll need to borrow tea pots and if anyone has a tea-set to bring even better.

Table cloths and paper doilies.

The MiL needs to fuck off. Your SiL needs to go back to HER original plan. Sorry not helpful I know but having that many people in your home op sounds very hard work.

i had an unexpected 38 for a late lunch/early dinner last Saturday. I went to marks and Spencer. They do a family sized bolognaise bake and also a family sized chicken pasta bake and lasagne. They are £5 a time.

I basically bought loads. Came home and decanted it all into my oven dishes. I also bought loads of garlic bread. Crisps, dips, nuts and then I got a load of magnums and did a huge cheese board. Pressure completely off me. All I had to do was heat the food through and present a cheese board.

Job done. The Marks and Spencer food came out really well. You’d never tell the bakes were shop bought, the bolognaise bake in particular.

that said, I had no option. I didn’t have time to cook from scratch. Nor the inclination!

Do the afternoon tea! Look up how to make the perfect cucumber sandwich too, there’s more skill to it than you would think, so worth it though if you do them right.

borrow as many afternoon tea stands as you can, buy some nice savoury pastries whicj can be neatly cut into smaller pieces to intersperse with the sandwiches.
do the same with the desserts, make some scones if you can as so much nicer than shop bought but buy things like high end brownies and cut into small pieces to go on the afternoon tea stands - it’ll be lovely and very kind of you

This is realistic in terms of your budget. Put items on really decorative plates / serving dishes
or to keep classy theme forget main meal and do nibbles and Cremant / Prosecco borrow super fancy glasses etc. Get a nice summer fruit cake from Patisserie Valerie. Make it 1.5-2 hours

"Im thinking cold but easy starter prepared ahead, some kind of bought in main and then cold easy dessert - cheese board or strawberries and cream could really work."

Skip the starters. Serving a starter up to 30 people at home is not easy, it's logistically a pain unless you can seat and serve them all. People are slow to move collectively. No one expects a starter at a 30 person gathering in someone's home. Just do a nice generous pud instead. Strawberries and cream with cake alongside would be perfect.

I have a big kitchen and have catered for this amount of guests twice but storage is the issue.

One was DS christening. Three friends all bought a large platter of sandwiches, I supplied disposable platters. I asked for this instead of a gift. We ordered fresh cream cakes from a bakery which were delivered on the day. I bought sausage, rolls, quiche, crisps, sliced cold meats, olives, potato salad, salad, coleslaw and other nibble bits that you just put on a plate. I did a huge cheese board and had lots of grapes and other fresh fruit and also cut up lots of baguettes. There was also champagne, orange juice and tea. There were 50 guests at that.

For my 50th birthday of 30 people I made a 1970’s children's tea party inc jelly and ice cream. My friend offered the cake as a gift and I also did a deal with the local Chinese takeaway and spent £100 on a delivery agreed in advance. I also bought dim sum from the Chinese food store and steamed it. I’m Chinese/English so was a great way to celebrate that double heritage. Everybody loved it.

The most I have ever catered for a proper sit down meal for is 20 at Chinese New year. It takes three entire days to prep.

Do something like the christening one just order in sandwiches.

Is this character also your MIL?

If so - what does your DH have to say about the insults his DM dishes out and upset and disruption she’s caused? Or his he trained to accommodate her bad behaviour as well?

Has the amount of people crept up because it's not in the restaurant and in your garden? I guess 35 people in the ivy would be very expensive.

Tbh if it were me, I'd suggest who ever wants to go for the meal does and maybe have some drinks and cake/dessert in your garden after where you can decorate your garden and have it looking lovely, that way who ever can't afford the restaurant can still celebrate the birthday. They can have food at home and then dessert and drink at yours.

Cooking for that amount of people is going to be very stressful. You are going to need a big fridge to keep the food in that you're cooking and when prepared things are made. You are going to have to decide on foods that don't need long /hours cooking so that you don't run out of time due to cooker space.

When cooking for people everyone has different tastes, likes etc then you have Allergies, vegans, vegetarians, etc if there's Allergies you will have to prep and cook and store their food separately.

The largest I've cooked for was 20 and even with that amount I found I ran out of fridge space and had to buy in a small fridge, meats, fish, salads, butters, sauces, desserts, etc all took up lots of space. Then if you make things the day before you need to be able to store them in the fridge and they take up even more space when in baking trays. Then you are trying to re heat things and ensuring they're hot enough and you're not giving people food poisoning. Reheating takes time when you've lots of dishes so you need to factor that in. So deciding on foods that work with your kitchen is important.

I've done the lasagnes and chillis and curries but someone will always not like something, or can't eat it. That's why restaurants are better because they can get what they like, the kitchen can cater for large groups and Allergies and you don't get stressed. The mil can feck off, someone needs to stand up to her.

If you are calling it a garden party I wouldn't be turning up expecting a hot meal like curry or chilli, and I'd say those things would only work if you have enough proper chairs and tables for everyone to eat at comfortably.

And you can't expect to recreate the Ivy so don't try - this needs to be completely different from the original plan.

A few people I know have made lovely buffets using Costco stuff. You could make it more of an afternoon tea theme / presentation if you want 'classier'.

Or one of my in laws throws an annual summer party for about that many. They do a buffet lunch of various salads cold meals, quiches, sausage rolls etc mostly homemade, so doing a lot of cooking beforehand and asking willing guests to bring something (ie they ask specific people who have offered, they know like cooking, not all guests). Then some desserts eg fruit pies, roulade etc. Again people chip in. Then cakes (again homemade) and some little sandwiches out with tea late afternoon/ early evening before people leave. Always goes down really well and loads of choice, but seems like a lot of work. I think people would be just as happy with shop bought!

Tapas style, patatas bravas, meatballs, lots of bread, cheese and meat platters.

I love doodly grazing table.

Totally agree, why is everyone facilitating this?

SIL should stick to her original plan, it’s none of MILs business & a big meal at the OPs house isn’t what she wanted or she’d have organised it originally!

Nothing wrong with dinner out with friends... but, I'd find a local deli/cafe who might do a couple of big lasagne (meat and vege) or something and you can do a big salad and bread to go with it.
We did this the night before our wedding when catered plans for a bbq at the b&b fell through.
Xx

Pulled pork in bbq sauce, veggie chilli, grated cheese, sour cream, guacamole and wraps. Plus salad and tortilla chips and washed down with punch or margaritas depending upon if it's a boozy party.

To make the pork just slow cook a pork shoulder, see which supermarkets have the best deal it's often very cheap for a large one and bottled bbq sauce. Make mixed bean chilli with canned beans for ease seasoning mix if you want too plus chopped tomatoes, add fresh chopped coriander at the end. Guacamole is easily made, plenty fresh lime juice fresh chopped cherry tomatoes and chopped coriander at the end gives it the edge over shop made. Buy the avocados in advance!

Thought I would update you all.

So many great ideas, but the general theme was that this would be a pain in the arse and probably too much to take on. I have heeded your advice.

I’ve found out that the local pub my SIL goes to has an upstairs function room that they don’t use much. It’s a really nice space and perfect for 30-40 people.
They are doing a buffet, DJ and karaoke all in for my £200. I can just turn up and plonk some balloons on the day!

the MIL thing is a bit of a back story. The original plan was a party but SIL had the village hall in mind which holds 150 people and she was only inviting 35 so would have looked a bit lost in the room. This then became a meal but lots of people dropped out and nice but reasonable cost places are all booked for a big group already. The smaller group going to the ivy wasn’t really what she wanted so her MIL (my dads 1st wife) calling her grabby put the nail in the coffin on that one.
I think a party in her favourite pub, with the original 35 all invited is probably closest to what she wanted in the first place, I’m not sure she knows the pub has a function room!

Sounds good,have a lovely time 😊

Please no, not a graze table!

I agree with pp - I would re book and take her to the Ivy with you and your family/friends - whoever can make it and is happy to pay.

Don’t breathe a word of it to the MIL.

Ask SIL, to make sure it’s okay, in case it’s left such a sour taste that she really can’t face it, but try to encourage her not to let her special day be ruined.

What a lovely outcome, so much time and faff saved for you.