How to feed 35 people on a budget

[Spottybotty20]

My SIL had organised a meal for her 30th birthday in a posh restaurant with us, them, and 5 other couples. Her MIL (not my mum) has ruined all the plans calling her self indulgent and grabby for asking her friends to come for a meal and pay for themselves. This is fairly normal in all our friendship groups but has upset her so much she has cancelled it all.

I’ve now said I will throw her a garden party instead but the guest list has crept up to 30 adults and 5 kids (not her inviting more - just family all wanting to come too)

How can I feed them all, without costing myself a fortune and it still having the classy birthday meal vibe she was going for?

Those graze tables seem totally impractical to me. Very photogenic until touched, but I don't see how anybody can avoid them turning into a mess as soon as people start serving themselves. And as others have said, what about allergies and intolerances and special diets? Much better to stick to having everything on separate plates/dishes/platters etc.

Graze tables?? What absolute instabollocks
is this?? I'm guessing people who do this have no-one who is allergic to anything, coeliac, observant Jewish or Muslim! Yeuch. Bit like other stupid things like cake smashes. And the antithesis of classy.

For your budget you can get loads but for economy I'd definitely go for huge one pot dishes with nice breads and salads etc. Anything finger food -like will be over budget if you try and do it yourself.

I hate those grazing tables - all the fingers all over it, and it looks messy very quickly. Agree with PP about borrowing slow cookers. How about something like coq au vin (chicken thighs from butcher which will probably be nicer and cheaper than supermarket) and a vegetarian alternative, seasonal vegetables and lots of crusty bread, then maybe meringue nests with whipped cream and berries?

I think this is a great idea and what I'd probably do. For the veggie option I might make Delia's roasted vegetable lasagne, which is lovely.

Coq au van is wonderful, but considering the ingredients is going to be pretty expensive for 35 people...

Mexican food can be done en masse and relatively cheaply:
Slow cookers full of chilli, huge pans of rice.
Slow cookers with carnitas (pork - Recipetin Eats has a fab recipe), tortillas, salad, some pickled cabbage/red onion.
Nachos with bowls of guacamole, pico de gallo, sour cream and cheese.
Big bowls of salad.
Few trays of potato wedges.
Couple of big fruit platters.
Desert platters - we always just get boxes of premade mini brownies, cookies, flapjacks, cupcakes etc.

Please don't do a graze table .

Can you imagine what this will look like after just a few of the 30 guests have picked out their preferred food? A buffet is fine but do plate the different food items up separately .

Mexican buffet is a good call. Or pick cuisine from any other low to medium income country as staples tend to be cheap, tasty and nutritious.

What are the people who are coming like? Are they going to complain about the poor selections of olives in antipasto or will they just tuck in to anything? What are people's favourite foods? What allergies/preferences are there?

I would personally start with how much stress that you are willing/able to tolerate and work out from there. How much time on the day are you willing to spend dashing from hot kitchen to garden and back? Also, what sort of resources have you got? Can you borrow a fridge? How much oven capacity do you have? Can you set up a few different tables with identical buffet stuff on so that people can keep grazing (make it easy to top up).

Then I would go to other practical stuff, like cups and plates and stuff. If you can't provide a load of heat resistent plates/bowls then chilli or soup (another cheap and easy standby that feeds a gazillion and can look incredibly impressive) are out of the question.

Personally I would put in a delivery from the supermarket of your choice for early on the day for all of their antipasto, prepared veggie sticks, cocktail sausages, mini things, fancy snack breads, cook ahead frozen party food, cheeses, cooked meats, dips and a ton of ice cubes (for the cool boxes that you will almost certainly need). If you make it early enough then someone can always do a run to the supermarket of your choice for anything missed off the order. Sainsburys are likely to have the biggest selection, Aldi have some impressive stuff if you go early to a big one, and Asda are among the cheapest.

Good luck - and you are amazing for volunteering. Your SIL is lucky to have you.

Costco trays of sandwiches & wraps
A plate of prosciutto/salami
Scones
Strawberries & cream
Cheeseboard
A nice cake

I don't see why the MIL gets to dictate what SIL does with her mates though? A family garden party is different from going out with friends. Maybe MIL was miffed not to be invited?

What about a ploughman’s?

Why on earth has everything got to change cos MIL says so?

Completely & ordinarily acceptable to pay for your own meal for a 30th birthday.

Unless mil wants to foot the bill id tell her to stick her ideas- why on earth is anyone (and so many people on this thread) giving any time to her ridiculous & rude ideas?!

Unless MIL wants to organise & pay for everything I’d just ignore this completely bat shit & rude request and have the 30th birthday meal that was planned.

Ooni pizza oven. OK the set will cost £300 but you'll have it forever.

Pizza bases can be bought in bulk delivered or 99p each from aldi. Create boxes of toppings and 3 sauces (tomato, bbq and garlic butter).

They take about 1m each to cook (practice a bit befoehand)

I do this every Christmas for our family day for up to 40 people: jacket potatoes, huge vat of chilli, French sticks, cheese and ham. Everyone helps themselves and they all bring something extra like crisps or soft drinks

So slow and time intensive
I was at a party for 15 last week and the whole process took hours and were no better than done in the oven

I think maybe Indian, Middle Eastern or Mexican food would be easiest to make in bulk. You can pre make starters and desserts and have one or two mains which can be cooked in bulk in large pans then either serve as a buffet or in smaller serving dishes on individual tables. How are you planning to seat 30 people? For the desert something like Banoffe pie or cheesecakes are easy to make in individual portions, you can get little cardboard tubs on ebay.

This is what I was thinking.

Serve afternoon tea but let guests know they are welcome to bring a bottle. Get a few bottles of cava to toast the birthday girl but no other alcohol.

Depending on the ages of the children you could have them icing cup cakes.

Bear in mind that anything like chilli, lasagne, curry as suggested will mean you have to have enough seating for everyone plus proper cutlery and crockery (not paper or plastic plates) otherwise it's impossible to eat. Something like a buffet, or pizza or burgers which can be eaten by hand might be easier.
If you do have the seating, I think Sainsbury's do a hire service for cutlery, glasses etc.

That will take forever!

One big dish like a salmon or pulled pork, then lots of sides (jacket potatoes, coleslaw, green salad, cous cous, maybe a pasta salad), nice fresh rolls.

Hire a caterer.
Specify a fork buffet with nice ham, cold chicken, cheese selection and simple sides of new potatoes, undressed green salad (dressing on the side), a crunchy coleslaw with a light dressing instead of mayo.
Pre-portioned desserts so people can just pick up a bowl and spoon and perhaps pour some cream.
2 members of staff to supervise/top up the buffet and clear the plates from the garden.

I would do afternoon tea as well.

Sandwiches and scones. Make a Victoria sponge and jam tarts. - can be done for £200 even for 35. Tea and coffee in lots of tea pots and old cups and saucers ( charity shop friend here)

Then ask guests to bring extra cake or Prosecco to go with it.

My SIL had organised a meal for her 30th birthday in a posh restaurant with us, them, and 5 other couples. Her MIL (not my mum) has ruined all the plans calling her self indulgent and grabby for asking her friends to come for a meal and pay for themselves. This is fairly normal in all our friendship groups but has upset her so much she has cancelled it all.

The best thing that you can do for your SIL is to encourage her to revert to her original desired plans to celebrate her milestone 30th birthday as she wishes.

You, her and your Dad are inadvertently facilitating the behaviours of an obnoxious overbearing MIL who will continue to dominate, belittle and control her for decades. These difficult people need nipping in the bud and putting in their place. She has no business criticising someone’s plans and your SIL (and you and your Dad) should not be accommodating and indulging this bad behaviour.

Where is her DH in all of this? Let me guess - swerving it all - not standing up for his wife but throwing her under the bus to avoid the likely flare up from a volatile mother?

Give her the gift of life long boundaries with this ogre - to be calmly and gently but resolutely assertive.

I can’t believe that your SIL isn’t getting the event she planned and which all 5 couples were happy with on the whim of this unpleasant character.

Stand up to her - otherwise your SIL life will get worse and worse as these controlling types are never satisfied.

Also calling her indulgent and grabby are significant personal insults.

Why is she rolling over and taking this? And why is everyone else tap-dancing around to make accommodations to reinforce those insults.

Another shout for afternoon tea. Morrisons sandwich platters, then scones and sponge cakes. Get some Prosecco/Nice tea then do a charity shop sweep for cups and saucers. Pound shop for lots of bunting