What’s the worst food someone ever gave you when you visited?

[LadyCampanulaTottington]

This week I was invited to friends house. She’s just moved in and wanted me to see the place. She said she would provide lunch and not to bring anything.

So I rock up hungry as it’s already 1:30. We start with a couple of pieces of baguette with some sliced salame and prosciutto, liver pate and some cheese. There is also a small bowl of salad leaves.

I take a small portion of each thing except the pate and my friend has some too. After a while it becomes apparent that this was not the starter but the entire meal. I was debating taking more when my friend started to clean up. I was still hungry!!

So I had to sit there with my stomach rumbling for another half an hour before I could leave and go get something to eat!

I’ve had meals in her house before but this is the first time she’s served such a small meal, she’s usually generous with portions. Does she think I’m fat and is trying to help? 😂

An all-day breakfast means a breakfast, eaten in the morning, that’s filling enough to keep you going all day.

My dad actually accidentally ate a testicle in France - corporate event, ‘those potatoes taste unusual’ …. ‘Monsieur; that is a sheep’s bollock’ or something to that end. Classic!

I don't understand?
Were they sandwiches with fish, eggs and pate all together inside?
Or pate made from fish eggs? Like taramasalata (sp?) or something?

worse thing I ever cooked was when I was about 12: cheese fondue. Except I fucked up by adding cornflour straight to the hot cheese fondue sauce (I wanted to thicken it up. It didn't work obvs, so I kept adding the cornflour. Oops!!

Worse thing I ever ate at someone else's house....I can't actually think of anything really. Aside from shellfish/seafood, peas, bananas and offal, I will eat most things.

When we used to stay at my English great aunt's house (awesome lady), she would serve up the smallest portions of food ever. My bro and I would "go for a walk afterwards" (i.e. go to the local village shop and stock up on food to fill us up), as we didn't have the heart to say anything. God bless her, she was so lovely, but would allocate one slice of bread each, one slice of ham each, maybe a small pickled onion or two each. And that would be a lunch or tea (and there wouldn't be a supper afterwards).

No, it means a traditional breakfast that's served all day, not just at breakfast time.

My ex-MIL was not a fine cook but she tried so hard. She came up with a few classics that were adapted from things she's read about, eg she'd seen a recipe for herb-crusted chicken and I think had only read the title because she put a half-inch layer of dried Italian herbs on a chicken breast, baked it in the oven and served it. I ate it but coughed midway through and quite a lot of dried herbs came out of my nose.

I also enjoyed the one where she told me that I had inspired her by making a quick weeknight lasagne with bottled dolmio sauces. She decided that she would also use ready made red and white sauces. Except that the sauces she used were not lasagne sauces but ketchup and salad cream. That was quite nice, but it was not lasagne! Very sweet and vinegary.

I think you’re telling porkies op, or you’re a porker

😂😂😂 sorry but I kind of agree! I don’t think two slices of baguette, two different types of deli meat, cheese and salad is an inadequate lunch!

I remember being young and my friends grandad would take us to to McDonald’s every Sunday teatime, I always got chicken nuggets until one day I bit into it and got a massive bone! Traumatised my 8yo self, I’ve only just been able to have McNuggets again 20yrs later!

I was the culprit. It was my first dinner party (don't judge me, it was the '80's) in the new house.

Lovely kitchen, where I had decanted the staples including flour, sugar, rice etc into matching storage jars.

Served the fish pie and went back for the green salad. There was a strange atmosphere in the dining room in my return. One bite confirmed the disaster: the white sauce was made with not flour but icing sugar

So polite were the guests that more than one protested that they liked it when I said it was uneatable. On one really protested when I removed the plates.

We ate bread and cheese in the splendour of our lovely new dining room. Laugh about it now. Took a while for me to be able to recall the event without going hot and cold at the mere memory.

Stale biscuits

Are they Irish? Sounds like bacon and cabbage, which is a pretty traditional dish in Ireland en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bacon_and_cabbage

My brother once invited me round for a “curry”. His idea of a curry was the leftover frozen turkey from Xmas thawed in February, then microwaved with curry sauce poured over it…they say its the thought that counts.

When I was pregnant with first DC my mother in law did a meal that was purely beans of different varieties-curried, strewed and cold. I spent that evening throwing up and that was the beginning of my Hyperemesis journey. I’ve had it with all 3 DC, hospitalisations with all and I still can’t forgive her for her array of beans 😂

XMIL was an excellent cook but had very bad hygiene. On more than one occasion SIL would elbow me and tell me don’t eat xyz.

later it would be because a rat had been nibbling on the apple pie cooling outside. Thé dog had been eating the top of the cassoulet and she’d just scraped a layer off. She’d heated food in the oven and left the glad wrap on which melted into the dish

😂 🤢 🤮

what a shame as her food was very tasty

The horror . I cannot even imagine

Went to my DB and SILs house for Christmas lunch one year.
My brother told me it was going to be a big lunch with all the trimmings and Christmas pudding for afters, so not to have much breakfast.
We were to arrive at 1pm.
Rocked up at the allotted time...to see that the Turkey was not even in the oven and vegetables etc weren't even out the fridge let alone prepped.
By the time we had opened the presents etc and my SIL had finally prepared "lunch" it was 7pm!
My dd was so hungry (she was only 6 at the time) I had to keep sneaking her chocolates during the afternoon!
When it was finally on the table I was so knackered (dd had got up at 6am) and so past it I had to force it down.
I've done Christmas lunch at my house ever since.

(a) It doesn't sound meagre. Read the OP again.
(b) What on earth is wrong with chips and cold sliced meat? Standard Monday night evening meal when I was growing up.

FinallyHere

Lovely kitchen, where I had decanted the staples including flour, sugar, rice etc into matching storage jars.

Served the fish pie and went back for the green salad. There was a strange atmosphere in the dining room in my return. One bite confirmed the disaster: the white sauce was made with not flour but icing sugar

This reminds of a family holiday in a cottage where we'd all taken different provisions and there was a rota for making supper.
I made a fruit crumble for pudding using sugar from the unlabeled but very large Tupperware box of sugar MiL had brought...
I'm sure you're way ahead of me - yes, it was salt.
I should have checked, but I couldn't imagine anybody bringing that amount of salt (about 1kg) for six people for a week.
And no, nothing fancy like salt-crusted baked fish or anything was planned.

@StillHappy "An all-day breakfast means a breakfast, eaten in the morning, that’s filling enough to keep you going all day."

It really doesn't !! Have a look at the menu of a few pubs and cafés.

My parents were young and poor when they had DB and me and mum produced this dish she called egg mornay . It was hard boiled eggs floating in a cheese sauce . Even the thought of it now makes me wanna gag

Oh another one . My friend worked in Thailand and she took us to this cafe that the locals used . I was served this bowl of grey liquid with floating fish heads . Needless to say I left the table hungry

Fried jellyfish

No it doesn't. It means a breakfast that it's served at any time of day.

As an opposite to all the posters who have turned up hungry at friends or relatives houses expecting a meal only to be given a bowl of crisps - I remember many years ago not long after we had married DH telling me that his friend and his wife had invited us around to their house for drinks . So we are our dinner and walked over to their house where they were just finishing preparing a 3 course meal for us. I think we managed about half of it and then confessed .

Great thread!

@LaMarschallin 😆