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Original poster

What’s the worst food someone ever gave you when you visited?

647 replies

LadyCampanulaTottington · 06/08/2022 18:48

This week I was invited to friends house. She’s just moved in and wanted me to see the place. She said she would provide lunch and not to bring anything.

So I rock up hungry as it’s already 1:30. We start with a couple of pieces of baguette with some sliced salame and prosciutto, liver pate and some cheese. There is also a small bowl of salad leaves.

I take a small portion of each thing except the pate and my friend has some too. After a while it becomes apparent that this was not the starter but the entire meal. I was debating taking more when my friend started to clean up. I was still hungry!!

So I had to sit there with my stomach rumbling for another half an hour before I could leave and go get something to eat!

I’ve had meals in her house before but this is the first time she’s served such a small meal, she’s usually generous with portions. Does she think I’m fat and is trying to help? 😂

OP posts:
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6
LunchBoxPolice · 08/08/2022 20:03

Salmon quiche.

ODFOx · 08/08/2022 20:05

"I'm veggie now so don't have to even think about eating tongue any more. But I remember it being served at home in my pre-veggie days, during the era of eat-it-or-else. It really turned my stomach, the thought of an animal's tongue in my mouth alongside my own, getting chomped, swallowed and digested. Urrgh."

I couldn't possibly eat something that's been in an animal's mouth! I'll just have an egg! 😂

Missingpop · 08/08/2022 20:10

Maybe, 😂maybe she’s fed up with your free loading 😂 did you take her a gift for her new home? No 🤣 well you got the meal you deserved 😂😂😂😂

TheOrigRights · 08/08/2022 20:11

I'm reading this thinking some of them really aren't too bad!

That said, both my sons have been keen to learn to cook as apparently I'm a bit shit.
It's true, both of them are much more intuitive cooks than I am.

Ilovedthe70s · 08/08/2022 20:12

MrsIronfoundersson · 08/08/2022 19:41

What?!!

Show quote history

Don’t worry, it’s sugar free

Johnnysgirl · 08/08/2022 20:16

ODFOx · 08/08/2022 20:05

"I'm veggie now so don't have to even think about eating tongue any more. But I remember it being served at home in my pre-veggie days, during the era of eat-it-or-else. It really turned my stomach, the thought of an animal's tongue in my mouth alongside my own, getting chomped, swallowed and digested. Urrgh."

I couldn't possibly eat something that's been in an animal's mouth! I'll just have an egg! 😂

That's been in an animals nethers...

tillylula · 08/08/2022 20:18

We had guests over and DH wanted to make a crab brulee

When you put the spoon in it, it was water with what looked like scrambled egg, that tasted like crab. No one ate it and we all laughed. He tried his best bless him.

stillvicarinatutu · 08/08/2022 20:20

If ever see a stuffed marrow again I'll shove it where the sun don't shine.

God awful. Like eating like warm cucumber with mince in it .

ShrewIcecream · 08/08/2022 20:22

@KeyboardWarriorsUnite that exact curry scenario happened in one of the Shopaholic books (by Sophie Kinsella). Down to the jotting down the recipe in Waterstones

WildImaginings · 08/08/2022 20:27

N0mnomnom · 08/08/2022 19:34

Visited a friend recently and she gave me shrew ice-cream.

😂

Dyra · 08/08/2022 20:29

Visiting home from uni. Mashed potato (just potato), plain cod fillet and tinned peas. Dry, plain, and oh so very boring. DMum was on a diet, so we all had to be apparently.

Crikeyalmighty · 08/08/2022 20:29

@LunchBoxPolice Interesting you said that- I love M&S quiche but don't like the salmon and broccoli one at all

houseargh · 08/08/2022 20:31

As a teen, I once went with a friend and her family to dinner at a friend of theirs and it was some kind of chicken casserole but the chicken was very undercooked. You could tell that everyone could tell but the guests were too polite to say anything and the host was too mortified to say anything so everyone was left awkwardly moving bits of chicken around their plates and trying to look as if they were enjoying the meal. It felt like Very British Problems: the bad meals edition

KeyboardWarriorsUnite · 08/08/2022 20:41

ShrewIcecream · 08/08/2022 20:22

@KeyboardWarriorsUnite that exact curry scenario happened in one of the Shopaholic books (by Sophie Kinsella). Down to the jotting down the recipe in Waterstones

Interesting! I've told a lot of people about it, so maybe word got back to her. I absolutely guarantee you it's true. It happened in the early 90's in Inverness. I guess truth isn't stranger than fiction.

KeyboardWarriorsUnite · 08/08/2022 20:42

(I don't really think word got back to her, fwiw. It's just a coincidence)

ImBoilingJackie · 08/08/2022 20:46

Not exactly a visit but when I was 14 I decided to stop eating meat. I'd been vegetarian for some time when we had a school trip to France. The hotel we stayed in managed to be completely incapable of catering for me (and another veggie friend). Most meals were rice + lettuce but the worst thing was carrot 'soup' which was essentially grated carrot in hot water.

Flippingnora100 · 08/08/2022 20:47

Tinned salmon toasted sandwiches that were so dry that they had to be swallowed with the disgusting sweet white wine to avoid choking. This meal was enthusiastically presented as the hosts’ favorite treat!

angela99999 · 08/08/2022 20:59

We went to a work friend of my husband's for lunch at 1.00. When we got there it was a BBQ, which he had not even lit.
We eventually ate at 3, the children were given half a sausage each, the adults one sausage, there were some tiny bread buns and some limp lettuce. That was it, no pudding, no relish, no side dishes or chips. We left pretty sharpish and had a meal on the way home. His wife clearly thought this was a normal lunch for visitors, but her husband was clearly embarrassed.

Inklingpot · 08/08/2022 21:08

As a vegetarian, I’ve been served some less than appealing food over the years by people unwilling or unable to substitute meat.

One stand-out was dinner at a relative of DH’s in the US. Everyone else got a lovely roast dinner with all the trimmings. I got…. a plate of overcooked broccoli and green beans. Literally just that.

On another occasion, DH, Mil and I were invited to the house of one of MiL’s friends for dinner. They all got a big spaghetti bolognaise. I got… a cheese sandwich. She put it in front of me saying ‘I had no idea what to do for you so this just seemed easier.’ I was literally speechless.

WrongWayApricot · 08/08/2022 21:10

Stew but the huge potatoes were just cut in half, not bad just looks weird.

ShrewIcecream · 08/08/2022 21:11

ettabea · 08/08/2022 19:26

Lovely neighbours newly arrived from Hong Kong, knocked at the door and proudly held up a live crab. Sadly sure of it's fate but not understanding what was going on, husband and I just nodded and smiled. Some time later, they knocked again and held up same crab, hot and freshly boiled.
They struggle a bit with the English language, but gestured to come in and use our kitchen. There then followed a demonstration and running commentary on what is what in a crab's body and how to dissect it into portions, which we were to then eat at our leisure.
Lastly, the crab brain was presented to us as a delicious delicacy. Not wanting to hurt their feelings, my husband stepped forward. He did gag a couple of times but actually managed to chew and swallow it.
Everyone applauded, me included.
He has never forgiven me and claims he can still taste it to this day.

This is my favourite story ever

ShrewIcecream · 08/08/2022 21:11

N0mnomnom · 08/08/2022 19:34

Visited a friend recently and she gave me shrew ice-cream.

😂😂😂😂😂

KohlaParasaurus · 08/08/2022 21:20

DillonPanthersTexas · 08/08/2022 11:49

Andouillette.
It's a pork sausage that smells like someone has peed on it.
It's partly made from intestines including pigs colon.
Tastes like it too.

😂

Reminds me of the 'Andouillette' sausage I had in some bistro in Toulon. Got a bit carried away at the time with the whole 'lets get down with the local cuisine' thing and ordered said specialty sausage which upon arrival looked like a grey transparent partially melted condom stuffed full of the contents of a hoover bag and the coarsely ground up lungs of a mid-18th century pit pony. The smell of this thing was utterly rancid and I remember various locals looking at this specimen as it was carried across the room wondering what daft c*nt stank the place up by ordering such a foul dish.

It tasted as good as looked.

I soldiered on with the Gallic Bush Tucker Trial while simultaneously trying not to lose face in front of DP and being acutely aware that someone in the kitchen was probably taking bets on how much I could eat before ejecting. I had to stop when a particularly stubborn coarse black hair unraveled from within the sausage to form an unlikely umbilical cord between the remaining half on the plate and the piece on my fork. In hindsight I would not have been surprised if there had actually been a mashed animal fetus in the sausage mix. I think my old collie who was particular fond of eating other dog turds would have passed it up.

DH wondering why I'm howling with laughter 😂

hiredandsqueak · 08/08/2022 21:52

Df used to say "Nobody cooks like your mother and in my case thank God" because dgm's food was horrendous. I can't to this day eat lamb or cauliflower after being subjected to it at her house. The lamb would be in a roasting dish that was half full of cooking oil so it was dripping with grease and the cauliflower she would cook whole for hours so that it came out of the pan brown and waterlogged. I used to cry when he mentioned going to visit her and beg that we didn't have to eat there.

Hmm1234 · 08/08/2022 22:12

Yes she must think you are fat. I thought you were going to say she offered you a bowl of rice or beans on toast. Get a grip