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Original poster

Neighbour constantly shouts at her kids

39 replies

NoEffingWay · 02/08/2022 22:17

From first thing til last thing at night I hear her shouting and the kids crying after they have been shouted at.

I can't have my windows open, and the noise comes through the walls so loudly it makes me and DS jump.

Three blissful years I have lived here and in 6 months there hasn't been a day without shouting and screaming.

The kids I have no issue with, they are sweet and play nicely in the garden, though with that constant piercing scream of excitement!

I want to say something, but don't want a dispute. It's making me anxious and i have had clients commenting on it during meetings (I WFH).

Any suggestions?

OP posts:
KaitlynFairchild · 02/08/2022 22:53

I would make a referral to social care. Even if in and of itself the shouting/potential emotional abuse doesn't meet the threshold for support, it may help build a picture of what is happening in that home.

If the children are of school age, you could let the school know.

You could also ask the NSPCC for advice.

Decidualcast · 03/08/2022 03:27

Is she a single mum? Maybe she’s struggling. Have you offered to support her or her kids in any way?

SaharaSahara · 03/08/2022 04:32

How many kids and what ages? Shouting at your own children doesn’t always mean it’s abuse, I have young children and it’s challenging especially when my toddler refuses to listen and will point blank do something dangerous that could hurt themselves/siblings.

oakleaffy · 03/08/2022 04:38

Decidualcast · 03/08/2022 03:27

Is she a single mum? Maybe she’s struggling. Have you offered to support her or her kids in any way?

Why the heck should a neighbour ''Help and support'' a neighbour parent children that aren't hers.
@NoEffingWay , I fully understand how awful this must be.

My brother lived next door to a woman who shouted and nagged at her children constantly.
It made bro put up soundproofing, but it didn't help ameliorate the harpy's shouting swearing and nagging.

Definitely report it.
It isn't your place to look after another woman's choice to have children she can't parent without screaming at.

JingsMahBucket · 03/08/2022 05:08

Decidualcast · 03/08/2022 03:27

Is she a single mum? Maybe she’s struggling. Have you offered to support her or her kids in any way?

WTAF?

Original poster
NoEffingWay · 03/08/2022 05:19

They are home educated so there's no school (or indeed any respite).

I have enough to do without parenting someone else's children, thank you!

She doesn't even acknowledge our presence, I went over to say hello and welcome when she first moved in, but nothing since.

OP posts:
SaharaSahara · 03/08/2022 07:46

How many and what ages? You haven’t said.

Original poster
NoEffingWay · 03/08/2022 10:36

Two aged 4&6, I think

OP posts:
SaharaSahara · 03/08/2022 13:56

Very young and challenging age, I would assume she’s just having a hard time.

FrownedUpon · 03/08/2022 13:59

NoEffingWay · 03/08/2022 05:19

They are home educated so there's no school (or indeed any respite).

I have enough to do without parenting someone else's children, thank you!

She doesn't even acknowledge our presence, I went over to say hello and welcome when she first moved in, but nothing since.

That’s even more worrying, as no one else such as school will have an eye on them. I’d also report it. Perhaps to NSPCC.

It’s really damaging for young children to be screamed at constantly. Poor things.

User34352515 · 03/08/2022 14:01

If she's overwhelmed or "needs help" then it makes absolutely zero sense to be home-schooling the kids.

pigalow27 · 03/08/2022 14:10

Is she shouting abuse or swearing or does she just have a loud voice but is saying totally acceptable things to control children's behaviour in a respectful way. I have found that there is almost nothing that people disagree on more than what is the acceptable volume at which to speak. Some people think others are 'shouting' when they are not in the least angry or annoyed, it's just their normal volume.

Original poster
NoEffingWay · 03/08/2022 16:43

Alas it's definitely shouting. Not swearing. Her range goes between 'normal' to full blown anger very quickly.

I appreciate she might be struggling, but I am also a single parent and guess what, I can control myself.

Today it's quiet because they are out, but this is brief respite. I am so torn between wanting to avoid a neighbour dispute and just saying 'please, I can hear everything and I feel sorry for your kids'. Being woken up at 6.30 by her yelling 'LEAVE ME ALONE' on repeat is not a fun way to start the day.

OP posts:
Anonykunt · 03/08/2022 16:52

Was just coming on to check this wasn't me. Nope not me. Blush could you pop a note through the door saying it sounds terrible. She may just need a reality check to reconsider how she interacts with her kids

Itreallyistimetogo · 03/08/2022 16:56

Get a headset for client meetings. I'm not really sure what else you can do, shouting isn't nice but without any other concerns it doesn't really warrant reporting. I wouldn't want to try and have a conversation with her about it either.

Original poster
NoEffingWay · 03/08/2022 17:00

@Itreallyistimetogo I use a headset, but I can still hear her.

When work colleagues or friends have come by the house they have regularly commented. Indeed a social worker friend said I might have grounds to contact social care but she would 100% know it was me, surely?

OP posts:
buzzy06 · 03/08/2022 17:08

Is it shouting or taking loudly? I often talk loudly when I'm being ignored by the children etc.

Is it actually shouting?

Original poster
NoEffingWay · 03/08/2022 17:13

@buzzy06 yes, she is definitely shouting. If my neighbours who are two doors down from her can hear them in their house it's very unlikely she's talking at anywhere near a normal speaking volume.

OP posts:
LydiaBennetsUglyBonnet · 03/08/2022 17:15

FGS someone will be along soon to tell her to offer Shoutypants a crème egg

Original poster
NoEffingWay · 03/08/2022 20:23

@LydiaBennetsUglyBonnet Grin

OP posts:
Decidualcast · 03/08/2022 22:39

@LydiaBennetsUglyBonnet that would be me.

I didn’t at all mean you parent her kids. I meant to ask if she’s ok etc as she may be overwhelmed (very likely if she’s homeschooling).

NewtoHolland · 03/08/2022 22:44

You need to contact social care. Those poor poor kids!!

Italianmamami · 03/08/2022 22:57

You actually could just do the simpler thing and drop a message to the health visiting service with her address. They are flagging up all home educated children sending letters to ask if there’s any help they can offer. If you mention this to your local health visiting service they may offer her a visit or they could turn up unannounced and if it’s as bad as you say it is then they will report her. She won’t know it’s come from you.

Dibbydoos · 01/12/2022 18:02

Report to social services, its abuse. In years to come this generation will be looked on as odd that we let constant shouting at kids happen.

The mum needs help. She won't lose the kids unless they're beglected, beaten etc, but she will get help.

BobbyBobbyBobby · 01/12/2022 18:20

pigalow27 · 03/08/2022 14:10

Is she shouting abuse or swearing or does she just have a loud voice but is saying totally acceptable things to control children's behaviour in a respectful way. I have found that there is almost nothing that people disagree on more than what is the acceptable volume at which to speak. Some people think others are 'shouting' when they are not in the least angry or annoyed, it's just their normal volume.

I know a Portuguese couple like that. It sounds like they are always having an argument with each other or other people but are just in face loud and demonstrative.

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