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Original poster

Someone wants to view my house and I don’t want them to. How do I phrase it with estate agent?

213 replies

Myhousemy · 02/08/2022 11:48

I’m selling my house and have an open day on Saturday.

I do not want one of the viewers, Mr Smith (not real name) to view my house but how do I tell the estate agent this without getting in to too much detail? Reasons I do not want Mr Smith viewing my house:

He viewed it several weeks ago. Estate agent said he was going to make an offer but was carefully thinking about what to offer as he felt certain work needed to be done. No offer was made so I think he’s a time waster.

Mr Smith has a dd in the same class as my dd and when he viewed my house he brought his dd with him. My dd was upset at the thought of this girl in her class going in her room, seeing all her things etc. It’s obvious my dd lives here as there are school photos on the walls etc

I am confident my house will sell as we have lots of viewers lined up and house is in good area etc We have spent a lot of money on new kitchen/bathroom etc so I guess there is an element of annoyance at Mr Smith saying he “needs to work out how much to knock off asking price for renovations” - estate agents words.

should I just tell estate agent to cancel Mr Smith and if they ask just not give a reason?

OP posts:
sonjadog · 02/08/2022 18:03

Did he actually say he is going to put in a low bid, or have you just decided this on the background of him saying he was going to get his calculator out (which is a perfectly normal thing to do when working with financial dealing, is it not?) and wanting a second viewing? To me, that is the mark of someone who is careful with their finances, which I would think is a good thing in a buyer. And yes, he might come in with an offer that is on the low side for you in the end. But so what? You just say no then. Now you are refusing a potentially good buyer just because you think he might do something that he hasn't done.

godmum56 · 02/08/2022 18:03

Myhousemy · 02/08/2022 17:46

Things have changed a lot. When I sold my first home I had to show viewers round. Now, I have to leave my house & the estate agent shows people round. I have to trust he/she will keep an eye on viewers. In fact the one time I did stay in my house as I was WFH (sat quietly working in a corner of the kitchen) the estate agent fed back that the lady viewing felt uncomfortable at my being there as “she didn’t feel she could have a good rummage around” 😲

my response would be in that case i will be there for every viewing because I don't want people rummaging around!

Original poster
Myhousemy · 02/08/2022 18:08

I mean it’s all a moot point as I have told the agent to cancel Mr Smith, so it’s done. I can tell a number of posters have a lot of sympathy for Mr Smith & really want him to view my house but unfortunately for him he had his chance 🤣

OP posts:

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Property
calmlakes · 02/08/2022 18:09

I have teens, have the house we are currently renting on the market and have just bought a house.
I do understand why your dd might feel uncomfortable but it is a fairly normal part of moving.

If she puts her most personal stuff away and understands how the selling/buying process she may learn to manage her discomfort. This will help her when she needs to rent herself for the first time.

I have usually put on offer in on first viewing and then gone back for a second viewing and I have bought houses in a few different locations and countries. I don't think there is one right way of doing that.

FabFitFifties · 02/08/2022 18:24

Entirely up to you OP, but most children, I suspect, not be allowed to interfere in the sale of a house. If the girl wasn't nasty, what's the problem? I presume she wasn't posting pics either? Not sure you are doing your daughter any favours in the long run.

Bednobsbroomsticks · 02/08/2022 18:28

I have a woman just been for her second viewing. Here an hr each time. Have strong suspicion she will request a third and I will be telling her to jog on. I enjoy it

CaptainBeakyandhisband · 02/08/2022 18:33

I get this. We sold to somebody I vaguely knew and wasn’t super keen on. We had discussions about whether we should veto their viewing or hope they didn’t offer. They did offer and we accepted but they were every bit as nobbish as I anticipated. We could easily have sold that house off market, but I went with an agent specifically to avoid having to deal with the customer direct (especially in the circumstances that we might know them - good catchment, desirable road etc) and even then they kept trying to get around the agent.

bcc89 · 02/08/2022 18:36

Myhousemy · 02/08/2022 17:34

An open day just means several viewers all on the same day but at different times. And no, no one can just turn up 🤣 the estate agent has vetted viewers beforehand to make sure they are serious viewers and not just bored people wanting to have a nose around. They have to show for eg that they have the funds available to buy, have a mortgage in principle etc.

I have sold 2 houses previously and all to people who viewed once. In popular areas this is not uncommon. We have not even seen the house we are buying yet - it’s a new build and we’ve chosen the plot. Again not uncommon.

We did have a buyer who snapped our house up but the sale fell through hence the open day where we have lots of viewers lined up. My house is well priced, heavily renovated and in a good location. I feel confident it will sell hence why I am not worried about turning away Mr Smith who despite viewing a modern, renovated detached house with parking for 3 cars wanted to get his calculator out to “deduct money for renovation work”. Fair enough if he wants to change the recently fitted bathroom but not at my expense!

I really wanted advice on what to say to my estate agent not a dissection of my dd’s mental health and my parenting skills. The fact that some posters do not understand why a teenage girl would not want another teenage girl that she sees every day at school going through her bedroom says a lot about how removed some posters are from real life.

I think you have an estate agent problem if a teenager girl was allowed to "go through" your teenagers things.

Beefcurtains79 · 02/08/2022 18:36

I’ve just sold my house on first viewing, and bought another also on first viewing at an open day that went to best and final offers.
Completely standard in London these days.

pinkyredrose · 02/08/2022 18:38

*And, if I have a child, there is no way I would bother to look at a house where my child couldn't look around with me. They will be living there. That room would be theirs so they have every right to say to me whether they'd be happy in it and the house. Having said that I would hope my DS would be sensitive enough to keep anything they saw in the room or the house to themselves^

You'd let your child influence what house you bought?

Shehasadiamondinthesky · 02/08/2022 18:41

Just say you don't want him viewing for personal reasons and don't elaborate.

RenegadeMatron · 02/08/2022 18:41

This thread is full of weirdness.

Why wouldn’t you let a child express an opinion about a house you were considering living in…?

Panamera22 · 02/08/2022 18:41

Myhousemy you don’t actually have to give an explanation to your selling agent. Once you make clear that you won’t be pressed in it the agent should back off.

Mr Smith may well object so prepare yourself for him approaching you at school pick up. Simply say that you had so many offers over asking price from first time viewers that you didn’t allow second viewers. That you were aware he wouldn’t be offering asking price as he indicated that he would need to do a lot of work to the house. They massive smile on your face and wish him luck on his house search!! If you can - mention that his daughter made it known in school that she had been in your daughters bedroom - just fyi of course - as some people mighnt like that 😉

Original poster
Myhousemy · 02/08/2022 18:48

Yes I quite possibly do have an estate agent problem. We’ve had a few issues with them, they wanted to show a viewer around at 8.30 am on a Sunday morning. After getting up at 6 am for work 5 days a week, getting up early (and getting a teenager and my toddler ds) ready and out the house on a Sunday morning didnt appeal. Agent said I was risking losing a buyer but I told them if they’re that interested they could come after 10 am

OP posts:
WinterMusings · 02/08/2022 19:13

Roselilly36 · 02/08/2022 17:31

In my experience EA, really don’t like children accompanying viewings.

Who cares?? They're neither the sellers nor the buyers.

WinterMusings · 02/08/2022 19:19

BlueThursday · 02/08/2022 17:39

House buying in England seems batshit crazy to me.

open days, the estate agent turfing you out so the viewers can nosey about without you and the whole being able to pull out at the 11th hour that’s just insane

@BlueThursday

Please tell me where you live that you don't have to endure this level of stupidity!

@RenegadeMatron NZ? A long time ago, the local papers used to list all the open homes for Sat/Sun and people would often do a trip around as many as possible. It was a nice way to spend a day, get a few ideas etc.

seems batshit now🤣🤣

but NZ house selling has gone off in an entirely different batshit direction!!

Goingforarun · 02/08/2022 19:20

Hope you sell it quickly or you may start dreaming of Mr Smith

Twiglets1 · 02/08/2022 19:23

CallMeWaityKaty · 02/08/2022 16:52

@LondonJax If you are in London, you ought to know the market and realise there is no way you can work out your finances after viewing a place! You'd be pipped at the post.

You should do this long beforehand and have your mortgage offer ready to proceed.

Depends on the part of London. Flats in central London are generally slow to sell and have significantly fallen in price over the last few years

mam0918 · 02/08/2022 19:35

Im baffled by people here saying 'if he was serious he would have put in an offer already' and thinking wanting to think about it and view it again for the most expensive thing most people will ever buy is not normal.

If Im spending £100,000 on something and will be paying it off with interest for 20 years because our annual income is only £30,000 damn sure I want to view it a second time... thats common sense NOT time wasting.

BlueThursday · 02/08/2022 19:40

WinterMusings · 02/08/2022 19:19

@BlueThursday

Please tell me where you live that you don't have to endure this level of stupidity!

@RenegadeMatron NZ? A long time ago, the local papers used to list all the open homes for Sat/Sun and people would often do a trip around as many as possible. It was a nice way to spend a day, get a few ideas etc.

seems batshit now🤣🤣

but NZ house selling has gone off in an entirely different batshit direction!!

Show quote history

Scotland. You just show folk around yourself, never heard of an open day unless a show home and once missives are concluded you’re legally bound to the sale

Ninspeedles · 02/08/2022 19:55

Didiplanthis · 02/08/2022 12:45

I was in your dd's situation my parents sold our house to a family and we didn't know their daughter was at my school. I had never done anything to her, I don't think I'd even spoken to her but she was in the cool gang and I was definitely not. She was an absolute bitch, slagging me off, our old house off, taking the piss out my old bedroom. Please don't make your daughter feel uncomfortable and give this girl ammunition..

But you got over it, right? If might have been uncomfortable but I assume it's not plagued you your whole life?

OP, you can do what you like as it's your house but don't refuse purely on the basis your daughter doesn't want someone to see her room. It won't be her room for much longer anyway!

Sometimes things are a bit hard and embarrassing in life, but she'll be fine. Teach resilience

RedHelenB · 02/08/2022 20:07

NannyOggsWhiskyStash · 02/08/2022 12:40

I think this could lead to a backlash from the daughter. It's ridiculous that your dd is upset because a classmate saw her bedroom. He is obvs thinking about putting an offer in so quite reasonably wants a 2nd viewing

This. Yabu to make such a big deal out of it. Surely if they do buy the house then that shows that the Smiths like it, they can hardly be running it down when they chose to buy it.

KatherineJaneway · 03/08/2022 00:05

MyrtlethePurpleTurtle · 02/08/2022 17:05

That’s what I was thinking. Do people these days really put an offer in after a single viewing?

Show quote history

Yes. In parts of the country where the property market is fluid, you don't offer after a viewing, the property is gone.

mathanxiety · 03/08/2022 03:11

I think you need to depersonalise your daughter's room.

There is no way there should be photos on the walls or any other hints as to your DD's identity or age or where she goes to school. I'm aghast that your agent hasn't pointed out that there are privacy concerns here.

You shouldn't have family photos up anywhere in the house, actually. Take down any that you have up.

Carryonmarion · 03/08/2022 10:09

Im baffled by people here saying 'if he was serious he would have put in an offer already' and thinking wanting to think about it and view it again for the most expensive thing most people will ever buy is not normal.
If Im spending £100,000 on something and will be paying it off with interest for 20 years because our annual income is only £30,000 damn sure I want to view it a second time... thats common sense NOT time wasting.

I wish ... That isn't how it works at all in London, South Manchester or many other parts of the country.