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Original poster

Kissing my granddaughter on the hand

61 replies

Trish1573 · 01/08/2022 15:30

I have been told by my son that I am not allowed to kiss my 6 month old granddaughter on the hands when I am holding her as she could then put her hands in her mouth and get germs. This has really upset me and I wonder if anyone else thinks this is a reasonable request or is he just being ridiculous?

OP posts:
Georgeskitchen · 01/08/2022 15:32

Unless you have leprosy or some other communicable disease he's being a bit of a dick. She's 6 months old not 6 days old.
But if he's insistent you'll probably be best just biting your tongue

GrannyAchingsShepherdsHut · 01/08/2022 15:32

Do you have / suffer from cold sores?

That's the only reason I can think I would have said something like that. And then only of a sore was active.

User354354 · 01/08/2022 15:33

He is being ridiculous.

But just smile and agree. Nothing else you can really do!

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DeanStockwelll · 01/08/2022 15:33

Is it his first born by any chance?

I would say he is been over protective, just wait till she is zooming around and putting everything she can in her mouth.

ReeseWitherfork · 01/08/2022 15:34

A while back there was a mother on here posting to say her MIL kept kissing her 9 week old baby despite her asking otherwise, and how she’d been careful herself never to kiss her baby on the face. She got pretty flamed.

Honestly I don’t know the answer to this. It’s his baby so what he says goes? But I think it’s pretty damn ridiculous. Unless your personal hygiene is lacking.

Hotenoughtoburnasausage · 01/08/2022 15:34

Can't wait til she is crawling op. Bide your time until then. My dc's favourite activity corner was the dcat's food dishes.

BlanketsBanned · 01/08/2022 15:35

Your son is being ott, is it their first baby. The same could be said if she holds your hand, puts anything in her mouth, crawls, uses a spoon, does he and mum kiss her hands. Not much you can do, what does her mum say.

Aquamarine1029 · 01/08/2022 15:36

Unless you have any of the above mentioned conditions, your son is being absolutely ridiculous. However, his child, his rules, although if I were you, I wouldn't be offering any babysitting favours. Who knows what other "rules" you'll have to adhere to? He sounds like hard work and I wouldn't be bothered. I'm wondering how your relationship is with the baby's mother.

PizzaPatel · 01/08/2022 15:36

He is being ridiculous but i wouldn’t get upset about it. Are you offended because you think he’s saying your mouth is unhygienic? If so don’t take it personally - I’m sure he means mouths in general are unhygienic and he has a bit of a thing about it. Or his DP does and has nominated him to raise it with you. We all have our hang ups particularly where our kids are concerned.

MissyB1 · 01/08/2022 15:36

Bide your time, when she starts crawling point out every single time she touches something and puts her hand in her mouth! 😁

qpmz · 01/08/2022 15:37

Sounds totally ridiculous to me. Sounds like your son has OCD.

Clymene · 01/08/2022 15:38

He's being ridiculous.

I would be really hurt

liveforsummer · 01/08/2022 15:45

I'd understand if baby was 6 days but by 6 months many are mobile or at least spending time down on the floor and shoving anything they can get their hands on in their mouth. Sounds like he's anxious

Heroicallyl0st · 01/08/2022 15:52

The fact that it’s “really upset” you is what sticks out to me. It isn’t a rejection of you - your son is simply telling you how he likes to be treated (and his daughter as extension). Yes it may be precious first born or big anxiety driving his view. But whatever it is, it could be an opportunity to get to know him and understand him more deeply if you can see past the feeling of rejection. How will he be able to share bigger fears with you if you recoil from him expressing these small day to day ones?

It’s never “ridiculous” to tell other people how you’d like to be touched or not touched. As a parent of a tiny one your son is perfectly entitled to express his wishes for his baby.

JenniferBarkley · 01/08/2022 15:58

I've seen a few of these threads in the past year, from the pov of both parents and grandparents. Seems to be a growing trend, wonder if it's a covid thing.

Anyway, your son is being ridiculous, unless you have active coldsores or are notorious for going out and about with norovirus. But challenging it will just damage the relationship, so grit your teeth and give cuddles instead I'd say.

TalkingToMyselfAgain · 01/08/2022 15:59

He's an idiot

yonce · 01/08/2022 15:59

Your son is being protective, and it's his daughter so I would think what he says goes.

Tbh, why do you feel the urge to kiss your granddaughters hands?

Kfjsjdbd · 01/08/2022 16:04

Going against the grain, I can understand your son’s point of view. I don’t like it when my PIL kiss my DD’s hands. I come from a family that is not touchy feely. Also I don’t get on with them a feel quite protective of my daughter around them.

You need to respect their wishes, no matter what your feelings are.

NotExactlyHappyToHelp · 01/08/2022 16:49

Seems pretty OTT to me. I’d get the point if they were a tiny baby but 6 months they’re trying to shove anything they find in their mouth.

I’ll never forget the day I gave up on being overly worried about hygiene with DS. I carefully antibac wiped and sterilised everything until we were in the supermarket when he was about 8 months old and as I turned back from fetching something he was merrily sliding his mouth up and down the trolley handle Envy.

Maybe they’ll chill out in a few months when they catch the baby licking the pram wheels/eating a slug out of the garden/sharing an ice lolly with the dog.

takeitandleaveit · 01/08/2022 16:55

How will he react when she starts to crawl? Disinfect the floor in front of her as she goes?

MintJulia · 01/08/2022 17:03

Sorry but it's their baby and therefore their rules. You need to respect their wishes. I wouldn't like it either.

Perhaps settle for kissing her on the top of her head instead. Gently affectionate with no risk of germs. I still kiss my ds on the top of his head. Even as a 14yo it's sufficiently neutral that he doesn't mind.

Gonnagetacatwhenimovein · 01/08/2022 17:10

He’s unreasonable. The baby is going to be chewing on all sorts, crawling everywhere … how’s he gonna cope?!

Connie2468 · 01/08/2022 17:13

He's over-protective, but I wouldn't say being over-protective of a little baby is the worst thing ever.

Just humour him and maintain a good relationship! This is not worth falling out over.

Blossomtoes · 01/08/2022 17:15

He’s got an acute case of PFB, hasn’t he? Just go along with it. It’s hard though, their squidgy little hands are so kissable.

Cognacsoft · 01/08/2022 17:16

I wouldn't want my dm kissing my grandson's hands because she usually has food round her mouth.
She's in her 80's though with ill fitting dentures.

If the above doesn't apply to you OP then your son is being pfb.