Kissing my granddaughter on the hand

[Trish1573]

I have been told by my son that I am not allowed to kiss my 6 month old granddaughter on the hands when I am holding her as she could then put her hands in her mouth and get germs. This has really upset me and I wonder if anyone else thinks this is a reasonable request or is he just being ridiculous?

Just humour him and maintain a good relationship! This is not worth falling out over.

I agree with this. If there's a second baby you can inwardly laugh at how blasé they are with them. There's a lot of scaremongering around kissing babies because of the risk of cold sores. It really is serious if they get infected but does mean that people tend to have a blanket ban on kissing, even if you're the grandmother and have never had a cold sore in your life.

I don't think it's really any more precious to make this request than it is to be really upset about it.

Do you really need to kiss her hands?

Out of interest, were you ill when he said it and/or do you get cold sores?

Just smile and do as he's asked.

He may well look back and think he was being ridiculous but if this is the worst thing he does its not that bad. Try not to laugh when the catch the baby trying to eat something truely disgusting.

He's being OTT given her age. It won't be long before she's in things like playground swings, or crawling in the garden etc.

But I'd go along with it, it's not like not kissing her hand is a huge hardship for you.

Yes, my point was that being asked not to do it is equally not a big deal.

It is ridiculous but I think we can all be a bit ridiculous when it comes to our first born.

My mum ridiculed me for it but my lovely MIL just smiled and nodded. I can laugh now and second is completely different , but I will remember how bring ridiculed made me feel when I have my own grandchildren. They will realise in their own time.

His child. His rules.

I think it's a ridiculous request but also think that if your aim is a loving relationship with your DC/DGC then your best bet is to let it go. It should be short-lived anyway - by the time she's toddling around she'll be putting everything in her mouth and her parents might relax! Refusing to follow the request is just going to stop getting you invited.

It sounds like he has a health anxiety

Never suffered with cold sores !

I read these threads and really don’t understand all the vitriol. Grandparents don’t have the ‘right’ to kiss their grandchild, it’s not a personal affront, they aren’t trying to be nasty? If you love your grandchild so much, surely you can understand your son wanting to keep that grandchild safe? I’d just follow their lead, smile and nod as some posters have said above. It really isn’t worth falling out over when both sides love baby and have the best of intentions.

FYI, It’s not just cold sores that are the issue, it’s also illnesses like RSV that we don’t necessarily know we have and can have severe consequences when passed on. The immune system at 6 months still isn’t robust enough to deal with this in some cases. Often parents are actively being told by midwives and health visitors to not allow kisses on the face or hands, they are just doing their best to follow advice and keep baby safe.

It’s not his first baby !

You haven't answered why it's such a big deal for you not to do it, Op?

Probably because the OP loves her grandchild and wants to kiss her. Is this now considered abnormal?

🙄 why kiss their cheek? Why kiss them at all? I used to love kissing DD’s chubby feet!

yes it sound overprotective, I understand no kissing until they’re 6 weeks old as that’s when they’re out of the woods for things like herpes etc. And obviously no kissing if you have a cold etc.

but other than that what’s the issue? Babies don’t live in a sterile vacuum, they need to build up a bit of normal immunity ready for when they encounter things like chicken pox etc

He is obviously being ridiculous, but I agree with the general advice of smiling (try to only roll your eyes inwardly and not outwardly) and humour him to keep the peace. It isn't the most crucial thing to fall out over.

I also agree with a pp who said there have been more and more of similar threads over the last few months / couple of years so I guess he isn't alone although still bonkers .

Just don’t kiss the child’s hands.

Are you ‘allowed’ to kiss the child’s head, that would the place I kissed my children most I would think.

Just do as he says. I completely empathise with him. Be happy that he loves his baby so much that he’s willing to ask you to stop doing that. He sounds like a great dad.

I don't see why it need be deeply upsetting to avoid her hands. She has other body parts.

Are you allowed to kiss the baby anywhere else?

Do you wear a lot of lipstick?

Hands are probably more neutral than faces, feet (usually got shoes or socks on) or head I would have thought

I do often wonder on threads like this if there are similar discussions going on in places like Italy or Spain or countries where people are very physically demonstrative and absolutely love babies. Its unheard of that babies are not given physical affection by a wide range of family members.

I don't think it's about OP being weird and needing to kiss her GC else her world is over, it's the inference that op is doing something terrible that's risking the baby's life and she's so selfish or stupid as well as unclean he actually had to tell her to stop endangering her child

Hands are probably more neutral than faces, feet (usually got shoes or socks on) or head I would have thought

I would have thought top of the head was the more obvious place to kiss.

But either way, I think it's excessive to be really upset about this. Think they're being silly, fair enough, but it shouldn't be that much of a hardship.