Need to vent - how did I create such a shallow child

[pizzaandgin]

Just need to vent

My son was 15, 2 weeks ago and we have just been away for our family holiday. I can't believe how shallow he has become and how obsessed he is with how he looks.

Some examples are 2 days into the holiday he read about how bad the chemicals were in shampoos so he changed shampoo and then spent the next two days in a really bad mood because his hair was not right.

Yesterday we did the mandatory visit to a national trust house, cue bad mood because his white socks were wet (just washed) so rather than wear any other socks he just wore wet socks

Went swimming and we all had to stay away from him so his hair wouldn't get wet. Once he got his hair wet and he was an absolute joy, my gorgeous happy boy.

My husband and I care about what we wear and how we look but my DS takes it to another level, I don't actually know what happened to turn him into this. Can anyone else share stories of ridiculous teenager behaviour and even better please share stories of teenagers growing out of this

I can't decide if that's better or worse than ds (13) who has to be hounded to have a shower or a bath. 😕 I have to pin him down to cut his nails. Yukk!

Are you being serious?

I can remember so many mornings before school of having a full on drama about my hair - with tears and everything - as a teenager. I don’t think it’s shallowness, it’s a tough age, trying to fit in but also find your own style, plus hormones, insecurity, changing bodies..
Just keep telling him you love him. Tell him he looks great. Whatever you do, don’t laugh at him. And as pp’s said at least he cares about personal hygiene. It could be a lot worse.

My 17yr dd was totally obsessed with her appearance, designer clothes etc for ages.
I once bought her a (brand new) dress from a car boot and she nearly vomited with disgust that I expected her to wear it.
Now everything she buys is from vinted and last week she begged me to take her to a car boot and was overjoyed to find a pulp fiction t shirt for 50p 😂
It's just teenage behaviour x

Absolutely normal teenage boy. I can remember going on our annual holiday abroad the year my brother was 15 (I’m 3 years younger) and he managed to ruin the whole bloody holiday with his moaning, pining for his girlfriend, moodiness and shallow attitude. How my parents didn’t drown him I’ll never know. I’ve never forgotten how bad his attitude was. However, it literally was just that year - I guess he’d grown up by the next year.

He's a pain in the rear but a teenager and they can al, be self obsessed at times, thankfully mine are grown up but I'd rather stick pins in my eyes than raise another unreasonable teenager!

My neighbours teenager comes out with a different outfit and hairstyle that she went in with 😃

Totally normal

I refused to wear a coat from aged 15-18.

He's 15 it's his JOB to be awkward!
I've never ever heard of a 15 yr old boy described as gorgeous and happy 😂

Not shallow, just a normal teenager finding his feet. It sounds like he’s feeling insecure and needs support and tolerance.

Embrace these stages with good humour and you’ll all be fine.

Oh Christ, I was like this at that age. I used to yell at anyone that opened windows or moved too close to me in case it ruffled my fringe

I also had huge tantrums after I'd been to the hair dresser if it wasn't to my liking (full on screaming) and took hours to choose what to wear.

I am 40 now and don't even wear make up most days so have grown out of the awfulness. I am sure your son will too.

All sounds normal was expecting to read something else, not a teen concerned about their looks!

He went to a NT house with you AND swimming.
The child is a saint (for a teenager).
They are deranged.
Count to 20 a lot - they are ridiculous.

All perfectly normal behaviour for a teenager.

Maybe, rather than 'shallow', it's self consciousness.

My ds nearly had a break down when he couldn’t take his straighteners to Leeds Festival.

Its normal.

Perfectly normal teenage behaviour. I used to blow dry my Son's hair every morning before school. It had to be perfect. He's 21 now and still very fussy about his hair.. I don't blow dry it any more 😁 Have a read of one of the many books on the market about the teenage brain. Lots of stuff is going on, you will need patience in spades for a few years!

What 15 year old wants to got to a National Trust House?

They are annoying but he's 15, it will pass. They aren't grown up at that age - even if they look it. Plus, you may not care that much about what you look like, but he might. There's nothing wrong with that.

Perfectly normal behaviour for a teen.

Another vote for completely normal! There was a time I wouldn’t leave the house without makeup and my hair being perfect. Got to about 21 and realised I didn’t give a shit how anyone else looks at Tesco or whatever so nobody gave a shit about me and toned it down slightly!

LOL-ing about wearing wet socks!
Its just standard teenage behaviour, teen DD can strop and take offence over the mildest, seeminglyunimportant thing about her appearance.

I was like this in my teens. Mainly because for years I had low self esteem and then suddenly at 15 I blossomed so did all I could construction to look good and never messy. If I went swimming I'd have full make up and hair pulled up nicely and do all I could not to get wet so on family holidays to them it was shallow, weird and vain. No one ever asked me why for years why I never liked to get or look messy or had to wear certain clothes a certain way,.all I got from family was criticism on what I wore and teased. As I got older I put on weight,.didn't have perfect hair anymore and often have make up free days so now I get comments like 'you look so tired, you've filled out! Nice mum bun today '...I honestly can't win. Leave him be, as long as he's being a good boy and has manners that's all that matters.

Normal teenage behaviour, just leave him to it.

No idea how the word construction ended up in my comment?! Stupid auto type 🤣

Normal teenage boy, he wants to look good. It will pass.