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Original poster

I finally came out!

37 replies

netflixandnaps · 30/07/2022 20:02

At the grand old age of 47!

I've known I am bi for many many years but have kinda ignored it, pretended it wasn't 'really' me, just went with what was expected... probably 80/20 toward women!

I've been married, got a child, had relationships but I just don't enjoy the physical side of a relationship with men (at least the ones I've been with). The last person I slept with I hated it. I didn't particularly enjoy sex with my ex either - he put me right off with his sexual needs - in fact there was a long time I couldn't even face it with him and thinking about it makes me queasy. I still fancy men but the act of intercourse, no.

Anyway, I came out yesterday to my mum (who's a devout Christian) but she said I just want you to be with someone who makes you happy, and the rest of my family today who really didn't care ..... no biggy at all. Then I told my son and he really didn't care too much either! He knows how bad previous relationships have been for me....so he's fully supportive.

I'm pretty sure when I properly kissed a girl for the first time at 11 that was what I wanted - but didn't even know was same sex relationships were back then...

Anyway - i am so happy I am finally free to be me!

OP posts:
OrderInTheMorte · 30/07/2022 20:04

How lovely. Are you single now?

Original poster
netflixandnaps · 30/07/2022 20:09

Yes, yes I am. Been single for about 13 months. Never actually 'dated' a woman but hope that'll change soon :-)

I'm so blessed with a supportive family.

OP posts:
CookieDoughKid · 30/07/2022 20:12

Congratulations 🎊 👏 💐

Maireas · 30/07/2022 20:50

That's fantastic! Well done 👍!
I'm glad your family are supportive x

MrsTerryPratchett · 30/07/2022 20:51

Good for you!

OrderInTheMorte · 30/07/2022 20:52

netflixandnaps · 30/07/2022 20:09

Yes, yes I am. Been single for about 13 months. Never actually 'dated' a woman but hope that'll change soon :-)

I'm so blessed with a supportive family.

I hope it all goes well for you. I was mid 30s when I came out as bi ans had my first gay experiences (apart from teenage kisses)

Good luck!

MoreOfADogPerson · 30/07/2022 20:56

I'm so pleased for you - well done and good luck!

DramaAlpaca · 30/07/2022 20:57

Congratulations!

Beetr00t · 30/07/2022 20:58

Welcome to the other side! Enjoy it.

LikeMindedLady · 30/07/2022 20:59

Congratulations OP that must be such a wonderful feeling to know that those that matter to you accept you! Best wishes for the future ❤️

germsandcoffee · 30/07/2022 21:02

I'm 48 and still haven't come out 🤣
I've had relationships with women and men but prefer to keep my sexual orientation to myself unless I need to tell .
To be fair I'm glad nobody made a big scene for you but I think we over think things and to others it's not a big deal .

KatharineofAragon · 30/07/2022 21:15

I just don’t see why anyones sexual orientation needs to be declared . It’s a private thing. Different if you are introducing a partner to your family who is same sex. Congratulations though and glad it went well.

clpsmum · 30/07/2022 21:15

Congratulations I'm happy for you x

LadyWithLapdog · 30/07/2022 21:21

Well done!

MrsTerryPratchett · 30/07/2022 21:33

KatharineofAragon · 30/07/2022 21:15

I just don’t see why anyones sexual orientation needs to be declared . It’s a private thing. Different if you are introducing a partner to your family who is same sex. Congratulations though and glad it went well.

I don't mean to you-rail the OP's thread. But the reason people have to come out is the world is stuffed with straightness. Every assumption is that people are straight so if one wants to not have that assumption made, one may choose to come out. Straight people don't have to.

I'd love a world where no one comes out because people don't assume sexuality. But that's not where we live.

TooBigForMyBoots · 30/07/2022 21:36

Nice one @netflixandnaps.😊

MargotMoon · 30/07/2022 21:49

Well said @MrsTerryPratchett

And congrats OP, it must feel like a weight has been lifted!

netflixandnaps · 30/07/2022 21:57

This reply has been withdrawn

This post is a duplicate so we've removed it at the user's request.

Original poster
netflixandnaps · 30/07/2022 21:58

Thank you all - I'm so relieved that no one cared (not in a bad way), in fact my brother in law was showing me his fave celeb women and seeing if I agreed (I did!)...

Just wondered why there isn't a LGBTQ+ section on mumsnet unless I'm being simple and can't find it.

OP posts:
TheBatwoman · 03/08/2022 20:26

Good for you @netflixandnaps - so glad people were supportive of you. There is an LGBT Parents section on MN if I remember rightly,although it’s not particularly active, but not sure if there is a general section?

Witchofthedales · 03/08/2022 20:29

Congratulations! ❤

Summerhasbeenandgone · 03/08/2022 20:37

Back in the 80's my dm had bf's and gf's. Can't remember a big announcement...
If it mattered to you though well done op.
Hope you find the happiness you deserve..

itsgettingweird · 03/08/2022 20:50

The best thing is that you feel free to follow your own head and heart.

And that's what life should be about.

AspireMe · 03/08/2022 20:51

If you're not sexually attracted to men, could you be a lesbian? (Not that it matters either way, just wondering how this situation results in bisexual rather than gay).

Original poster
netflixandnaps · 03/08/2022 23:33

Not a lesbian - no, still very attracted to men. If I decent one came my way, who knows? I've got friends who absolutely despised sex with men and found the right one and now enjoy it. I had so many years of men with poor personal hygiene, horrible sexual demands, not able to make me orgasm - it just put me right off - on the flip side, I am very sexually attracted to women.... so not a lesbian, just want both - but leaning more toward a woman right now.

OP posts:
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