I finally came out!

[netflixandnaps]

At the grand old age of 47!

I've known I am bi for many many years but have kinda ignored it, pretended it wasn't 'really' me, just went with what was expected... probably 80/20 toward women!

I've been married, got a child, had relationships but I just don't enjoy the physical side of a relationship with men (at least the ones I've been with). The last person I slept with I hated it. I didn't particularly enjoy sex with my ex either - he put me right off with his sexual needs - in fact there was a long time I couldn't even face it with him and thinking about it makes me queasy. I still fancy men but the act of intercourse, no.

Anyway, I came out yesterday to my mum (who's a devout Christian) but she said I just want you to be with someone who makes you happy, and the rest of my family today who really didn't care ..... no biggy at all. Then I told my son and he really didn't care too much either! He knows how bad previous relationships have been for me....so he's fully supportive.

I'm pretty sure when I properly kissed a girl for the first time at 11 that was what I wanted - but didn't even know was same sex relationships were back then...

Anyway - i am so happy I am finally free to be me!

I don’t understand.. you came out as gay but you’re not gay?

I'm confused as to why you had relationships with people you weren't at all attracted to? Were you honest with them at the time as to how you really felt?

Congratulations, I'm thrilled for you and very proud. Best of luck with this new chapter x

Hugs 🤗 OP x

Congrats, OP! How exciting for you. So many wonderful firsts for you to explore.
Welcome to the other side ;)

And bravo @MrsTerryPratchett - wise words as always.
@KatharineofAragon 'coming out' is necessary because the world is still largely heteronormative. As a woman in a SS relationship, simply by mentioning my wife at work, as in 'my wife bought a new car' I'm 'coming out'. It's not about 'the bedroom'.

Best post I've seen on here in ages!

I wish you many years of happiness x

Good for you! I hope you feel better and more confident for it and have some wonderful new experiences.

@KatharineofAragon

No lovely, bi.... I came out as bisexual ... I did put that.

@ReallyIrish

Physically I was...

Good for you! For those saying why come out, there are a whole host of conversations we have all the time which don't make sense if you are not heterosexual, like who you fancy, plans for dating, past experiences. Of course no-one should feel obliged to come out, but you can end up lying or just omitting details all the time if people don't know. One of my children is out and we can have much more honest and normal for want of a better word conversations about dating and love lives with this knowledge. Also, for the OP she can be honest about her self instead of hiding part of herself. it's not just relevant if you bring a new person home!

I meant out as in she is bisexual, like the OP.

@FarFarFarAndAway

For me, it was so important. I have a mid 20s son and if I suddenly brought home a woman it would most certainly confuse the f out of him AND our family is very much a 'bring your partner too' and I didn't think a Christmas dinner or someone's birthday an appropriate time to spring it on them. Anyway, I was just something I felt I needed to do to be honest with myself and to feel my true self. It wasn't a 'big' deal it was kinda 'oh, btw I am bi' and that was pretty much it..... I pondered on whether I should or shouldn't for a long long time and it just seemed I was living a lie pretending to be heterosexual when I'm not.