Birthday etiquette - Can I bring my husband with me to a child's party?

[trulyclueless]

My daughter has been invited to a party for a child whom we're not particularly close with, but I think it's a lovely gesture. It's being held at an attraction and the invite says one adult per child included, extra guests to be booked in advance. Would it be rude if I asked if my husband can come too and we'll happily pay for him? Not sure what the etiquette is with these things. Or should I just contact the attraction and book him in? Or will it look bizarre and is it mainly one parent and child at these things? Evidently I have zero clue about these things

You are over thinking it. Just ask to bring your DH and offer to pay if that's what you'd prefer to do. If you are not a chatter and comfortable you could easily end up trailing around after them on your own or sat on your own awkwardly (this has happened to me at more than birthday party even though I am a big chatter!!). It really depends on the other mums or dads going and how well they all know each other and how "cliquey" they are. If you are unsure just take DH and then you'll definitely have someone to chat to. I don't think it's odd at all. I've had both singles and couples come to my child's parties.

Yep, it's totally common around here for both parents to come to soft play parties, etc. None of the places round here charge for adults. I think it's actually more unusual for both parents not to come! (I've been very much in the minority at a couple of parties lately for just going by myself with DD!). Given the invitation specifically gives the option, I'm sure you won't be the only one anyway.

Please don't. Use it as an opportunity to make acquaintances.

A mum at our school aways brings her dh, they sit outside of the group and hardly interact. She also gets miffed that hardly anyone talks to her at the school and is always surprised others have made arrangements for play dates. I'm friendly with her because our children are very close but it's taken a lot of effort on my part.

Send her with dh, it really doesn’t require 2 adults to accompany one child to a kids party. We used to take it in turns (and rarely stayed beyond reception year).

If I invited you to a child's party and you turned up with your husband, I would mark you down as some Howard and Hilda sad case.

I think you're getting sone odd responses OP! I get that kids parties are not everyone's cup of tea, but I would do as your first reply says.

I know how you feel OP, my DH is much more sociable than me. But tbh I think it would make it worse if all the other adults are mums and you’ve brought your DH along. It’s a kind of barrier then between you and the others - if you’re on your own you’ll be forced to chat.

So I would either go alone or send DH alone.

The extra guests bit is almost definitely a reference to siblings.

I personally love going to kids parties with my DH and we enjoy watching our kid play, I don’t think that makes us odd at all. I make an effort to chat to others and not just stick with DH.

OP, do what you said in your first reply and let the host know, pay the extra. You can make it a family day out. If you have a DH who wants to go with you and will have a nice time, then do it. You don’t need to justify yourself to anyone.

im quite surprised by how judgemental some of these replies are. Never crossed my mind that someone would think it’s sad I turn up with my DH. They can think what they want, makes my day more fun to have DH there, so lucky me.

Why does your DH not just take DD to the party?

I’d have assumed extra guests meant a sibling or something.

id not, but if you’ve social anxiety and he doesn’t then why doesn’t he take her? You don’t need to go.

Extra guests almost certainly refers to siblings. It's always been one adult here, and it's a great opportunity to meet new people. If you step out of your comfort zone you'll know more people and the next party will be easier.

Just send your husband then and don't go yourself

Why doesn't your DH just go on his own?

... obvious solution is DH takes your daughter to the party....

Just send your DH with your daughter.

I'm a single parent and did all the birthday parties, I also worked and did not do the school run so only really knew a couple of parents. I always have a book in my bag and if the parents I knew were there I'd sit and chat with them. If not I'd sit and make small talk and if other parents weren't chatty I'd just get a hot drink and read my book and enjoy the 'me' time. If you aren't great at socialising having a book to hand is always useful.

We dont bat an eyelid around here if both parents attend with their child. Providing there is no extra cost to the host obviously.

But we are all very much live and let live, its of no inconvenience to me, so if it helps put someone at ease to bring their DH, go for it.

Its my childs party, not a gathering for the adults, so i don't expect all the parents to want to sit and chat with eachother if they wouldn't ordinarily.

Let the couple spend some time together when its cutting into ther weekend.

OP in your situation, the host sounds reasonable in knowing additional people sometimes attend, so just ask but say your happy if she would prefer not, but i cant see why it would bother them if its of no extra cost to them.

Either DH goes on his own or you take the opportunity to meet new people. If you both go, I'd pretty much guarantee nobody would talk to you much as the couple thing gives out the signal that you aren't interested in talking to anyone else

Yeah I'd just send dh in this instance.

Totally normal in my social circles for both parents to attend - as said, just contact the host and arrange to pay. Ignore anyone who judges you, what a pathetic thing to judge someone for! But if your DH is better at these things and you don’t really want to go, send him!

Good on you
It's lovely to see a nice reply on here for a change

Send your DH

Some people on this thread have been right judgemental fuckers. Whilst I get they might not want to take their DH/DPs it’s really not a massive deal if you both go.

I also think some people need to remember that not every parent is bored to tears with birthday parties yet (I put my hand up for that tbh) and some are still at the stage where a party is an exciting new thing, particularly after the last couple of years.

Send your DH. It really is quite strange for you both to go. The extras is definitely a reference to siblings.