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Original poster

Paying toward renovating when not on mortgage

55 replies

miserablenunsure · 29/07/2022 00:15

We are renovating a house that partner owns. He's asking me to put towards flooring etc. should I do this when I'm not in the mortgage.
FYI. I've been foolish. We have 2 ds together and have been together 9 years. He brought the house when I was unemployed (stay at home mum) said I couldn't be on the mortgage as I had no earnings. And he had me sign 'something' he said if I didn't understand to get a solicitor. I forgot about it. Then he said he needed it done asap. So I asked him what it meant when he signed and it was to say I wouldn't be a 'sitting tenant?'
I earn far less than what he does. And to make it worse he's my boss. Although o am looking for another job

OP posts:
WudYouSayItInRealLife · 29/07/2022 00:40

Can you ask him what it was you signed?

PastMyBestBeforeDate · 29/07/2022 00:44

No. If you aren't married you have very few rights.

Nekomata · 29/07/2022 00:48

I think you'd be crazy to do so. Do you want to stay with him? Because he doesn't sound very nice.

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General money
stillvicarinatutu · 29/07/2022 00:49

Don't.

I made this mistake. You won't get it back if you split. Unless he is very honourable.

Phrenologistsfinger · 29/07/2022 00:58

You probably signed a thing saying you had no claim to the house. Common from mortgage company in a sale when someone is living with you but doesn't (co-) own the house.

You should definitely not contribute to renovations! You have no claim or interest in the house as it stands so you are pretty much throwing your money away. He could technically chuck you out whenever without a tenancy agreement.

There is a slight possibility that significant contributions to renovations (or paying the mortgage) could give you a beneficial interest % in the house reflecting your contributions but in reality this would mean going to court, costly lawyers fees and is by no means guaranteed. My DP is risk averse so won’t even let me pay for paint just in case I get an interest in his house (it’s fine, I know the law plus I have my own house). So if you need a reason for him, there you go.

StClare101 · 29/07/2022 01:10

Why on earth would you even ask? It’s not your house and the money would be gone. He sounds awful, by the way.

Aquamarine1029 · 29/07/2022 01:16

Your partner is shit. You shouldn't give him a single £ to improve his property because you will never see a return for it.

Is this the relationship you really want to stay in?

Luredbyapomegranate · 29/07/2022 01:19

Good god. No don’t give him any money for anything. get a copy of what you signed and go and see a solicitor and find out what it means.

I am pretty sure you signed away your interest in the house. I would insist the house now goes into both your names 50/50 before I gave him a Penny, and I would also insist on getting married.

OP why do you let him treat you like this? You can be named on a mortgage even if you aren’t contributing to it, and you can obviously be on the deeds. He lied to you, the mother of his kids and his life partner.

if I were you I would also find out from the solicitor what you would get in the event of a split and have a serious think about whether I stayed with him.

Nekomata · 29/07/2022 01:49

If you do decide to stay with him, I would see a solicitor and see of you can get an agreement drawn up that if you split up, he has to repay the money. Something like that may be an option, but I guess if you don't do as he ays, he will turn nasty.

FollowYourOwnNorthStar · 29/07/2022 02:04

Tell him you will contribute if you can go on the title and the mortgage.

he wants money, he can give you some equity/ownership in the place.

Namerchangerextraordinaire · 29/07/2022 02:27

Absolutely not.

And find your copy of what you signed too.
He should have given you one & if he didn't make sure you get a copy so you have half a clue what is going on.

Topseyt123 · 29/07/2022 02:54

No! Don't do this! Give him nothing.

Tell the fucker that if you can go onto the mortgage AND the title deeds (the latter is what really registers and seals your interest in the property) then you might reconsider.

Sign nothing more that he waves in front of you if it hasn't been explained by the solicitor first (looks like he has one).

BirdWatch · 29/07/2022 02:57

No.

caringcarer · 29/07/2022 03:11

You are too trusting and naive. Your partner of 9 years does not want to share his house with you but wants you to pay for flooring. If you break up you will be left homeless and not entitled to a penny. He could even sack you too. Why are you not protecting yourself? Ask him to put you on to title deeds for house or marry him. If he says no you can see how little he thinks of you.

Palg68 · 29/07/2022 03:50

Long term where is this going OP? Shocked that you have 2 DC and have been together 9 years.

I think he's being tight. What about your household bills who pays what? And the DC?

Suprima · 29/07/2022 04:25

Echo the sentiments of everyone who has already posted. He literally wants to horde assets from you, the mother of his DC. He doesn’t see you as partner so don’t know why you are calling him that.

he also lied to you. It’s completely possible to be on the mortgage as a SAHM with no income. He didn’t want you to be.

Thefruitbatdancer · 29/07/2022 05:22

register ownership rights on a property that you're not on the deeds of but have contributed towards in otherways

www.citizensadvice.org.uk/family/living-together-marriage-and-civil-partnership/living-together-and-marriage-legal-differences

Get married, quick £200 registry job, and you will be legally protected & will have a claim on the house & his assets if you divorce or he dies. I think he won't marry you if you asked him don't mention getting on title deeds etc because he doesn't want to share his assets with you.

Where does he expect his children to live if you split up or he dies? So many women fall into this trap but it's so important not to have kids before marriage precisely for this reason?

WhatsInAMolatovMocktail · 29/07/2022 05:31

No!

Tell him you want to be married. tell him a. Minimum you want to be on the mortgage. Yes, you have been naive. Get it sorted out.

Nillynally · 29/07/2022 05:32

Get married to protect yourself

Decidualcast · 29/07/2022 05:38

You can’t register home rights if not married.

Do not contribute a penny. Fighting for beneficial interest (which I believe you’ve signed away) will cost you £££££. Paying for flooring won’t be sufficient enough a reason though.

Thefruitbatdancer · 29/07/2022 05:40

Why did you sign a document that you didn't understand and why didn't you get legal advice when your dp told you to?

Twizbe · 29/07/2022 05:58

Nope.

Before we were married we renovated a house that DH had inherited. I refused to put money into it as I had no claim on it at all.

I did offer to buy 'moveable' items though like the fridge, our bed, furniture etc. things I could take with me if it went tits up.

StRaphael · 29/07/2022 07:40

No - and you know that.

Other conversations need to be had between the 2 of you and you 100% need a new boss.

Penguinsmum · 29/07/2022 07:43

Omg. what a horrible man. Not sure what else to say.

Blueskythinking123 · 29/07/2022 07:57

I think we all need to be clear what the OP signed before we start calling her partner.

I'm a single parent. When I swapped my mortgage to a better deal my son had just turned 18. He had to sign to say he wouldn't remain a sitting tenant if I sold or the house was repossessed.I had no choice but to ask him to sign this, without it I wouldn't of got the mortgage.

The op's partner purchased the house when she was not working. There was not an option for her to be on the mortgage and as she was dependent on her partner, she would have to sign this form for him to to be able to get the mortgage.

It the partner wants her to contribute to renovation costs the OP needs to have a conversation around how that can legally be reflected.