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Original poster

Paying toward renovating when not on mortgage

55 replies

miserablenunsure · 29/07/2022 00:15

We are renovating a house that partner owns. He's asking me to put towards flooring etc. should I do this when I'm not in the mortgage.
FYI. I've been foolish. We have 2 ds together and have been together 9 years. He brought the house when I was unemployed (stay at home mum) said I couldn't be on the mortgage as I had no earnings. And he had me sign 'something' he said if I didn't understand to get a solicitor. I forgot about it. Then he said he needed it done asap. So I asked him what it meant when he signed and it was to say I wouldn't be a 'sitting tenant?'
I earn far less than what he does. And to make it worse he's my boss. Although o am looking for another job

OP posts:
EspeciallyDeIighted · 29/07/2022 08:05

No, my friend got caught like this, her DP moved out and sold it leaving her homeless and penniless.

Sunnysideup · 29/07/2022 08:10

Why would you possibly sign something you didn’t understand and even just forget about such a thing, you are not a passenger in your own life and have personal responsibility.

I think you’ve posted about this before, the document you signed is to say you’ve no claim on the property if you split up, it was for the mortgage. You know this.

pennysarah · 29/07/2022 08:11

Just to say when we looked at mortgage deals the amount we could borrow was reduced with me officially listed on the mortgage application whilst I was a SAHM. So the mortgage went through with only him on it. (We are married and my name is on deeds though).
I wouldn't 100% assume he was completely swindling you. I think you ask to go on the deeds and his reaction will be more telling.

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about this subject:

General money
StopStartStop · 29/07/2022 08:12

Fucking hell. He's taking you for a fool.
Do you want to spend your whole life with him? If so, ask him to marry you, now, in a few weeks. No fuss, just a legal marriage. See how he responds and go from there. Don't accept any delay.
Marriage or not, ask to be put on the deeds and check that he intends you to have a half share in the house. Get an agreement written up by a solicitor!
You have children with this man. He's still trying to take money from you and give nothing back. Pay nothing towards his renovations.
Start looking into where you'll live with the children and without him, and how you will fund your life.

strawberry2017 · 29/07/2022 08:13

She might not have been able to go on the mortgage but he could have chosen to put her on the deeds.
Tell him to get you added to the deeds and you will contribute fairly to the renovations.

milesymoo · 29/07/2022 08:18

strawberry2017 · 29/07/2022 08:13

She might not have been able to go on the mortgage but he could have chosen to put her on the deeds.
Tell him to get you added to the deeds and you will contribute fairly to the renovations.

Agree wholeheartedly with this

The mortgage is understandable but your name of the deeds is a must before you put any money into the property

Presumably you staying with the kids at home allowed him to work and for you all not to pay for childcare? So don't let him convince you your starting point should be zero until you pay towards renovations

Legoisaws8om · 29/07/2022 08:22

I'd be working put what childcare cost for 2 children and be clear that was your contribution to the household pot which includes mortgage bills and food etc. It shouldn't be that be earns and you don't. It makes me so mad when people see it like this! Get yourself married even if it's to divorce him later at least you'll be protected financially for you and the kids.

ClocksGoingBackwards · 29/07/2022 08:27

It sounds like your dp has ensured that he will not lose his house if you and he split up, which is fair enough if he’s paid for everything, but it’s not fair if he’s expecting you to to pay towards major things. He can’t have it both ways. I don’t think he has any obligation to put you on the deeds, but then you don’t have any obligation to pay to maintain the house.

Keep your money safe in savings in case you ever need it.

DenholmElliot1 · 29/07/2022 08:28

Interesting that he waited till you was on maternity leave before he brought the house. I know a fair few men that have done this.

No, don't contribute to renovations.

femfemlicious · 29/07/2022 08:32

NOPE DONT PAY!. If i were you i would go and get a full time job immediately and start saving to buy your own house. If you split all you will get is child maintenance!

Googlecanthelpme · 29/07/2022 08:47

You can absolutely have a joint mortgage when one party has no income. The working partner just needs to earn enough.

So it’s more likely that he’s chosen to take a single mortgage - that in itself isn’t necessarily a red flag. I took a single mortgage rather than a joint one when I bought my first house even though I was in a serious relationship and he ended up living with me.

However after this amount of time and 2 kids, there’s no reason you shouldn’t be named on that house.

i wouldn’t contribute to any major works until this is sorted out to be honest, he’s had years to revisit the issue and he hasn’t. So now is the time to decide - are you committed partners who share a life or does he not see it like that.

TheVanguardSix · 29/07/2022 09:06

You ought to marry- if you break up, you're entitled to nothing.
If you're married, that nothing becomes 50% of the equity.
This of it this way, regarding paying towards renovations: If you were renting a flat, would you pay for carpet installation, painting and decorating, or a new boiler? No. Why? Because it's not your home and not your responsibility but the landlord's.
Knowing that the home is not a shared asset and you are on a low income, your partner wants you to pay towards the renovations on his house?
Pull the other one! It's got bells on!

I wonder if he had you sign an Occupier's Consent Form.
From two different websites:
Consent forms are required by lenders when an adult is to be in occupation of the mortgaged property, but that occupier is not a legal owner of the property.
An occupier can obtain a legal interest in a property even though they are not a registered owner of it. This is of particular concern to a mortgage lender in the event that you do not keep up with your mortgage payments. By signing your mortgage deeds you assure the bank that you will give them vacant possession of the property in the event that they need to repossess it. Similarly, they require any other adult living at the property, who is not a party to the mortgage, to sign a document that says they will also vacate the property in the event of a repossession.

So let me point you in this direction:

rightsofwomen.org.uk/get-information/family-law/marriage-your-rights-to-your-home/
AND
www.gov.uk/government/publications/notice-of-home-rights-registration-hr1
You must make a home rights application. It is normal and sensible to do this in a marriage or partnership when you are not on the mortgage.

TheVanguardSix · 29/07/2022 09:07

Sorry... that should read THINK of it this way, regarding paying towards renovations:

Decidualcast · 29/07/2022 09:28

Please do not claim home rights if you aren’t married.

Unlikely in your case, but if you were to seek beneficial internet, you could have a restriction registered on the title deeds to prevent him from selling it. Only do this with solid legal advice.

Sunnysideup · 29/07/2022 09:45

He's still trying to take money from you and give nothing back

that’s clearly not right as he’s obviously paying the majority of the living expenses so he’s hardly trying to profit out her. Calm down.

Sunnysideup · 29/07/2022 11:16

I don’t think the op is married or in a civil partnership so home rights doesn’t apply and as said, I’m sure she’s posted this before and knows exactly what she’s signed now.

Original poster
miserablenunsure · 29/07/2022 23:38

Sorry. I'm In tears. I don't even have a copy of what I've signed

OP posts:
Decidualcast · 29/07/2022 23:42

@miserablenunsure I’m currently in a situation far worse but not too dissimilar. I do sympathise - I was way too trusting.
What is that you want from this situation?
You must ask for a copy. If it was a consent form for the mortgage company as described by a previous poster, you’d have needed witness signatures if I’m not mistaken.

Wombat27A · 29/07/2022 23:45

I've had a patchy employment history but I've been on every single mortgage we have ever had, whether earning or not...

He's stitched you up. Truly kippered.

Get yourself to CAB in person or online & learn all about your rights or lack thereof.

Stuff tears, get very cross indeed.

LemonSunchines · 30/07/2022 03:20

Decidualcast · 29/07/2022 23:42

@miserablenunsure I’m currently in a situation far worse but not too dissimilar. I do sympathise - I was way too trusting.
What is that you want from this situation?
You must ask for a copy. If it was a consent form for the mortgage company as described by a previous poster, you’d have needed witness signatures if I’m not mistaken.

I signed one of these before marriage, no witness signatures needed.

user1471538283 · 30/07/2022 07:50

You need to act fast. You need a job away from him and to squirrel as much away as you can. You have got to have something because if this ends you and possibly the DC will be homeless.

I can never understand people who do this to their significant other. But they do.

1Wanda1 · 30/07/2022 08:06

You should look up and read the judgment of the House of Lords in a case called Stack v Dowden, which is about how property is divided when an unmarried couple split up and one has paid the mortgage and the other has paid towards "living costs" or renovations. Spoiler alert: it doesn't end well for the one not on the mortgage.

Your "D"P telling you couldn't be "on the mortgage" because you had no earnings while on mat leave is pretty shit. He could of course have registered you as the co-owner of the property.

TooHotToTangoToo · 30/07/2022 08:09

I'm afraid it sounds like you've signed something to say you can't have a claim on the house - just ask him what it was.

As for renovations, I would say no.

I'd also use this realisation to get yourself into a better financial position, try to get a better job even if it means childcare, which your dp should pay towards also

StopStartStop · 30/07/2022 08:53

Sunnysideup · 29/07/2022 09:45

He's still trying to take money from you and give nothing back

that’s clearly not right as he’s obviously paying the majority of the living expenses so he’s hardly trying to profit out her. Calm down.

I'm not calm about this. Another woman is being played for a fool. She's raising his children and should be grateful for her keep? What a pathetic attitude.
I stand by what I said earlier.

RSitf · 30/07/2022 09:07

@miserablenunsure have I read it right that you signed to agree you ‘wouldn’t be a sitting tenant’? If so as everyone above has said either way he’s an absolute shit. You are his partner with his children??
Dont pay a penny until this is sorted one way or another.