Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Chat

Join the discussion and chat with other Mumsnetters about everyday life, relationships and parenting.

Original poster

What happens if single parent with no one available to look after siblings needs to take child to A&E?

28 replies

BewareTheBeardedDragon · 28/07/2022 18:55

Had to take ds to A&E last week and my mum was able to come over and look after siblings while I took him. There were signs all over saying one parent only and no siblings.

My parents aren't always available and eldest has SEN and won't be looked after by anyone else. Now I'm worrying what would happen if dp weren't around and I had to take one dc to A&E (I'm a single parent and other parent lives 50 miles away)?

I realise it's unlikely but still niggling at me.

OP posts:
MallampatiCatty · 28/07/2022 18:56

Well they'd let the sibling join, of course. And if a single parent was admitted to hospital and no one could care for the children they'd be admitted onto the childrens ward and then eventually social services would get involved

Sirzy · 28/07/2022 18:57

In a and e then you wokld have to just explain to the staff and stay there together until other parent or a friend can hopefully get there.

If admitted if you couldn’t get someone else to stay with the other children then unfortunately overnight you would have to leave the hospital with them.

Purplepatsy · 28/07/2022 18:57

If there is no-one else to look after your child's siblings then they have to go with you. I can't see another solution.

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about this subject:

Families
ClocksGoingBackwards · 28/07/2022 18:57

You’d just have to take them both. No hospital would refuse to treat a sick or injured child just because they had a sibling with them.

FarmerRefuted · 28/07/2022 18:59

You would take them with you and the hospital would make an allowance based on your individual circumstances.

I had to take DS to A&E not too long ago, DH was at work and no one was available to look after other DC. I took all of the DC with me and rang DH to meet me there and collect them, if he hadn't been able to then they'd have just had to stay with me until we all left. The hospital were fine with it and even had a side room available for us to wait in (DC is autistic and needed a quieter space than the waiting room).

Original poster
BewareTheBeardedDragon · 28/07/2022 18:59

I'm being idiotic aren't I? The signs are very forbidding and strict seeming 🤦‍♀️ and I'm very rule abiding 🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️

OP posts:
FelicityRelaxington · 28/07/2022 19:36

My then 4 year old had to travel in ambulance alone whilst I travelled behind with his baby sis and we all stayed together as I had no other choice and they wouldn't let the baby in the ambulance. Still comes into my head sometimes how awful it was, mostly for him of course but for me too.

MargaretThursday · 28/07/2022 19:52

It's because every time I've been to A&E there's been two parents with several siblings (where the child in question isn't seriously ill, which is a different matter if they are) or parent with several children saying "they wanted to come too".
With the latter the extraneous children are generally notably badly behaved and parent (normally mum but not always) spends most of the time loudly on the phone to a friend.
There's also the ones who decide it's an extended family gathering. I can kind of understand when both parents come. But when it's both parents, two grandparents, uncle, three aunts, grown up cousin and grown up brother for a 17yo who has a minor cut that according to the triage nurse (as we all heard because they insisted on all crowding into the triage room so the door had to be open) doesn't even need a plaster, you have to wonder if they could find a more fun way to spend their Friday nights. 🤣🤣🤣

No one minds if you have to take them, but generally it's better all round if you can find someone to watch them. Better for you (because you can concentrate on the one who is ill/injured), better for your ill one (because they get your attention) and better for the other one(s) (because a hospital waiting room isn't really much fun to be in after the first five minutes, and better for everyone else waiting (especially if your children's A&E is like ours and a large family gathering can take up most of the seats)

ErmIDontKnow · 28/07/2022 19:59

My then 4 year old had to travel in ambulance alone whilst I travelled behind with his baby sis and we all stayed together as I had no other choice and they wouldn't let the baby in the ambulance. Still comes into my head sometimes how awful it was, mostly for him of course but for me too

Oh that's awful. When my DS was a baby I had to ring an ambulance for him and they let me and my 2 year old DD travel with him in the ambulance

Underhisi · 28/07/2022 20:06

They would have to go with you. We always have to have both parents with ds. Sometimes things have to be flexible.

NoSquirrels · 28/07/2022 20:06

You would take them with you and the hospital would make an allowance based on your individual circumstances.

I second this.

As a PP says, the stern & forbidding signs aren’t actually aimed at you. They’re aimed at those families who have at least 2 parents available, but all come en masse to the hospital and take up room & resources when their other children could have been looked after by a parent at home.

Try not to worry, this is definitely not something to worry about.

lunar1 · 28/07/2022 20:07

You take your other children, the signs aren't directed at people with no choice. They are there for the twats that treat it like a family day out.

I was at the hospital last week for ds2 who was having a procedure, with nowhere to sit and wait as it looked like a bloody family picnic.

One group had two parents, one grandparent and 5 children FFS, they were abusive to the receptionist who asked them to take the extra people out. Families like that are why the signs are there.

HuffleWoof · 28/07/2022 20:15

@MallampatiCatty interesting. We never admit children onto our childrens wards it'd be straight to social services and potentially foster care. But that's because the adult hospital doesn't have childrens wards and the children hospital in the city don't take non patients as an admission

VerveClique · 28/07/2022 20:19

It’s to stop irresponsible people with chronic FOMO from cluttering up A&E, not the occasional single parent who really doesn’t have anyone close by to help. The staff can tell.

Original poster
BewareTheBeardedDragon · 28/07/2022 20:19

Thanks all for talking some sense into me 😂

OP posts:
Original poster
BewareTheBeardedDragon · 28/07/2022 20:21

I seriously hope that it doesn't arise because my dc can be a nightmare en masse and everyone would certainly be hating us. I was v relieved to be able to take dc alone last time. I'll stop stressing now and try to keep them from breaking anything while my parents are away on holiday...!

OP posts:
110APiccadilly · 28/07/2022 20:26

I had toddler DD with me in a hospital antenatal clinic the other day. I had to go in urgently so she came with me until DH could get there to pick her up. Obviously it would have been better had she not been there but at the end of the day when I rang the hospital they told me I needed to come in and if that meant she was there for a bit then they'd cope with that. (They were lovely with her - I'm pretty sure she'll be asking to go again but hopefully that situation will not occur again! Oh, and it was all a false alarm, but I had symptoms that could have indicated something serious.)

Sprogonthetyne · 28/07/2022 20:28

If you turn up with a sibling they're not going to make you leave them alone outside, they're not going to make you send sick DC in alone, and they're not going to deny a sick child entry for medical help. So of course they will let sibling in. If at all possible you should avoid taking them, but it you must, you must.

megletthesecond · 28/07/2022 20:32

I had to take then 11yr old DD to a&e at 4am after a 111 call and ambulance visit. I had to get her 13yr older brother up to come along too, he was happy 😬. This was Jan 2020.
A nice tea lady brought him breakfast at 7am. I have never seen him so delighted to have boring old cornflakes and tea.
All was OK.

HungryKoala · 28/07/2022 20:32

When I was a single parent dd2 had a nasty bump to her head late on a Sunday night. I had to take all 3 children to A&E with me. After a few hours waiting dd2 needed to be admitted for an overnight stay, no children/siblings were allowed on the ward (totally understandable) so I had to leave dd2 on the ward and do a 2 1/2 hour round trip to my parents to drop off dd1 and ds1. For me it was a totally stressful few hours however dd2 spent the time I was gone sat with a nurse, eating snacks and playing on the nurses phone. She enjoyed it that much she wanted to go back the following night 😂

HerRoyalNotness · 28/07/2022 20:35

I’ve had to take two with me when one was taken on by ambulance. I knocked on our neighbours door, who is also a friend, but they didn’t answer so I took them.

last time I went For myself a friend came and sat with them for me.

alnawire · 28/07/2022 20:37

I'm not even a single parent but when DS needed an ambulance for A&E I didn't have time to wait for DH to get here from work so I took DD with me in the ambulance.

CottonSock · 28/07/2022 20:39

I was in this situation last year and the paramedic on 111 said take the kids and sort it out later. Luckily someone rang me back and picked up my kids. Otherwise I guess they call social services for emergency care or something.

Hopeandlove · 28/07/2022 20:40

I’m on this situation and in this instance I’d phone a friend or wake the neighbour

choosername1234 · 28/07/2022 20:43

Just book the sibling is as well...lots of families regularly book 2 or 3 siblings in for coughs & colds so seem to treat it as a family day out
(joke, obviously)