How far can you safely drive in a day?

[WillitFit]

I'm a middle aged woman who's had a driving licence since I was 18yo. I drive short journeys most days and a journey of 120 mikes round trip most weeks and would say I'm an experienced, competent and confident driver.

However for longer trips, which tended to be as a family, I always let late DH drive. No real reason other than he enjoyed driving and I am lazy was happy to nap on journeys. I would take a shift on very long journeys.

Since he died, obviously, I have to do it all myself. I took DS2 for a uni tour yesterday, 3.5 hours each way. DH would have done it without thinking. I was really struggling and stopped for a rest every hour on the way back.

I did 2.5 hours each way on Monday and tbh that was about enough.

This is going to vary enormously, please don’t beat yourself up OP. Do whatever suits you

Sorry for your loss 💐

That would be very tiring for me and I enjoy driving.
2.5 hrs for me is comfortable. Anything more is a struggle.

I've done 10 hour drives with just toilet break stops and grabbing coffee and food at the same time however 3.5 hours then walking round a uni plus talks etc then driving another 3.5 hours would fry anyone's brain so yes would need more frequent stops.

Sorry for your loss

I could do 3.5 each way but I wouldn’t be able to do anything else for the rest of the day!

It varies enormously on type of car, traffic and weather conditions, how you're feeling that particular day. Maybe yesterday was an off day, just do what you need to do.

I visit my DD at her uni which is 2.5 hours each way. I've found it a lot easier since we got an automatic car and also since I discovered podcasts .

I live overseas and we do an annual road trip into the mountains that takes 7 hours. Me and DH share as it's a killer. But you forget once you're there!

Also don't under estimate the effect of doing all this uni stuff on your own, it's a slog without support. I know your teen is involved but that's not the same as someone to share the mental load with. Plus everything else going on.

This is true. I did find the whole trip quite stressful, not least because I'm not at all convinced that moving away from home is the right thing for a teen struggling with the loss of his father. Thank you

The longest trip I do is 2.5 hours each way to take dd back to university and that’s really pushing it for me and makes me incredibly anxious- and I’m a long time confident driver generally.

I once did a 5.5 hour trip to Wales with a short stop half way and was pleased with myself for doing it (especially as the last part was up and down some horrific mountains!) but I would never do it again.

I think it's just practice, personally going somewhere unfamiliar is more stressful and requires more concentration. If you need to stop for a break then do so. The more you do it the easy it will get. I think 6- 7 hours is fine with stops.
I also let DH do longer journeys, he is a terrible back seat driver and tbh its easier for me to be a passenger! When DD started uni I did all the uni open days with her, I wanted to know I could get to her without relying on DH. I was really pleased I did it. The only thing I had was after the third long distance trip in a week my knee started to get really painful stuck slow crawling traffic for miles on M25, had to stop and dose myself up on nurofen! That wasn't great but probably only because I'd driven 100s of miles within a few days and I wasn't used to it so the diversion from Dartford crossing to Blackwell tunnel finished me off🤣
I'm so sorry to hear about your DH 💐 it must be really hard doing it all by yourself but you've got this!

I drove home from Paris last year, journey was 500 miles which should have taken less than 8 hours, but with ferry, waiting time, traffic and stops took closer to 16. Huge regret.

This year I did it in 2 legs with an overnight, making 2 whole days of travelling including lovely long picnics.

In one day I'd be OK with 6 hours driving with a couple of breaks (and have done this regularly, but that's on the motorway with zero traffic). For a one off I'd be OK with 3.5 each way.

You should have stopped driving op if you were so tired. It's insanely dangerous to drive tired.

I used to do a 4.5 - 6 hour trip a few times a year, dropping off dd. I generally only stopped for a wee and drink but sometimes would stay a little longer at the drop off or stop again on the way home if I felt tired other times I just wanted to get home so literally dropped off dd, had a wee and hopped back in the car to get home.
Think it also depended on time of year etc.

You should have stopped driving op if you were so tired. It's insanely dangerous to drive tired.

Which would be why I stopped every hour

I did 243miles last month from the nw to Minehead by myself. Couple of toilet n coffee breaks and it was fine. But I quite like a solo road trip

For me, this varies a lot depending on what else is happening and how tired I am, the roads and traffic levels and time of day, etc. Rather than applying a time limit, I just go on how I feel at the time. There are times where I've had to stop every hour for a break but I enjoy the drive a lot more that way. I have also on one occasion, driving home at 10.30pm with three hours to go, decided to stop at a Travelodge instead of carrying on, as my attention just wasn't sharp enough.

I'm so sorry to hear about your DH xx

Cut yourself some slack. Emotional stress is very physically draining. on top of that you're probably not sleeping very well, possibly not eating very well either!!

Have you spoken to DS about your thoughts on him going away to Uni right now? If he thinks he'll be 'fine Mum'. Just reassure him that neither you (nor would his Dad have) been disappointed if he decides it's all too much & he just wants to come home, & try again next year.

you may find though that it's the best thing for him, he might enjoy the work & make lots of friends & it might help him learn to live with the loss.

Im 53, my daily mileage varies! Some days I struggle to stay awake on the 30 Mike morning school run! Other days I could drive all day. But a long return drive & university visit would wipe me out!!

& that's without being recently bereaved!! 🤗

I can just do the inlaws in a day 2.5 hours each way (if a good journey). But I prefer to spend a night. Anything over that I don't attempt. If I can get a train I will.

The longest I've driven is 6 hours with just one half hour break. That's from Carlisle to Bath and it was snowing , or trying to, all the way from Carlisle to Birmingham. I wouldn't normally do that type of distance but DH wasn't with me to share driving and as I hate night time driving I needed to make sure I was home before sunset at around 4pm.

I just think it depends on loads of stuff. How tired you are generally, what the trip is for, what the weather's like, traffic, etc. Kids leaving home even without the bereavement aspect is emotionally huge - the loss of your H and all that means on top of it means you are going to be tired. You did it and you dealt with it safely, that's all that matters. Nobody was holding up score cards afterwards for how tired you were.

I fairly regularly do a 5-7 hour drive (approx 250 miles) to visit family. I'll usually stop once for a toilet visit and a coffee (which I take back on the road with me).

I've done longer, most recently a 12 hour drive (for the last 8 hours I was stuck in horrendous traffic with no chance of a break/toilet visit which was miserable).

I wouldn't really give a 3.5 hour drive each way much thought, other than checking my tyre pressures and filling up with petrol before I leave. I always check tyre pressures (and wash my car!) before leaving on anything other than local trips. It's been drummed into me by my father over many years. 🙄

We'd planned to get a train, but train strikes.

I'm glad I did it, but I don't think DS appreciates what it cost me emotionally

DH died a year ago and DS has had a really tough time. I think he sees Uni as a fresh start and I hope it works out like that for him, but I'd rather he was looking at something closer to home!

Sorry for your loss op
I think it's the there and back with a full day in the middle that's tiring, I do a 5 hour drive to Wales every few months and that's ok but I'm good for nothing the next day, a shorter (2 hour) trip with a day visiting in between always makes me more tired and I think psychologically just knowing you've got the drive back too is tiring

I’ve done 8 hours with a single one hour break in the middle, during a blizzard, with the motorway down to one lane and visibility about ten yards.
A month after the death of my DH and with my baby, toddler and MIL in the car. Endurance test, and not something I would recommend.

I used to be able to an 8 hour drive with just one stop for a pee and coffee then go out for drinks at the other end! I'm mid 40s now and cba with it, so use the train instead. I do think I get more tired now than I did when I was younger too so I would probably flip into the hotel bed if I drive that trip now. I'm sorry you are going through so much, don't beat yourself up or compare to others about driving.