So many angry people around

[RainCloud]

Has anyone else noticed this? I've seen arguments over parking, people arguing in shops, mumsnet threads turning into fights (more so than usual 😂). I generally keep myself to myself when I'm out and about and ignore most people but I've had people tutting and foot stamping behind me in queues. There just seem to be so many people getting angry at the moment.

Is is the heat? Finances / cost of living? Post covid lock down trauma?

They cannot do this without permission from checkout team leader who they should keep on at until they get the authorisation for a break.

I'd say the checkout leader didn't do their job well enough that day as they have to keep customers AND checkout staff happy.

Knowing the stress involved in checkouts is precisely why I go for the scan as you shop thing. A much quicker, less stressful process for all involved.

@Sistanotcista

I think this is 'Computer Says No' from Little Britain has also become very real.

There is no room for judgement for most customer service people - they literally follow a soul destroying script and have no autonomy to actually listen to the nuance that may be apparent for the actual customer - if computer says no, that's it.

I actively search out companies who still have some form of human judgement because the 'Computer Says No' culture makes me want to smash things - I may as well get a bot on my end to deal with most companies, it is pointless trying to talk with them

I have a friend who is angry a lot. Sometimes it’s embarrassing.

I think one of the main problems is that customer service is appalling. There are too few staff and they very often don't seem to care.

Matalan - Went to till to buy a vest top. Self service till was free so I went there and realised that the item didn't have a label. Cashier became free so I went to him instead. He told me to input the number on the label into the self service till. I did and it wouldn't accept the number. A queue had formed so I went back to shop floor to see if they had another vest but there was only one in my size. Went back to tills and there was now an even longer queue. Ended up walking out.

VUE - Wouldn't allow us to book tickets online using gift card so DH went into the cinema at lunchtime. No one at booking office. Wandered around and finally found ONE member of staff on the popcorn counter. Queued up behind a few people who were all ordering food. Eventually got to the front of the queue and the young bloke who helped him was actually very helpful. However, it took him 45 MINUTES to buy two cinema tickets and pretty much wasted his lunch hour.

M&S - Local branch is looking a bit run down but their toilets are frankly disgusting. The last time I went in there was toilet paper all over the floor, the toilet seat was hanging off and they smelled as if they hadn't been cleaned in a while. I vowed never to go in there again.

Joules - Returned an order. Heard nothing for a few weeks. Only option to contact customer services is via an online chat. Contacted them to be told they hadn't received it back. Er yes.... I have returned it. Eventually found it and refunded me the money. Would they have done anything if I hadn't chased it?

If a company's customer service is rubbish I just don't shop there. It's just too much of a wind up!

Waitrose, John Lewis and First Direct are still on the good list.

It's the High Rage economy that that Tories promised.

So many things are just harder than they used to be. I feel like I live with a constant baseline of annoyance, from things like trying to get support for DS, trying to negotiate things that ought to be straightforward, like paying money into the bank, dealing with terrible driving (I’m not perfect but some of things I see are terrifying!). It doesn’t leave much give for anything that’s an extra irritation on top of that. I don’t get angry easily, but I can see how people can be tipped over the edge more easily. And I agree with what a pp said about feeling impotent - I live in a safe Tory seat and it doesn’t matter how I vote because we will never get rid of our MP. And she knows it, so it doesn’t matter how often I write to her, she doesn’t have to pay a blind bit of notice. People are scared and worried about the cost of living, the climate, the NHS and so on, and scared people get angry too. It’s a bit of a perfect storm. I’m slightly surprised we haven’t had riots yet, but I wouldn’t be amazed if we did have, especially when things get really tough over the winter ☹️

Yes, I find myself wondering this a lot too!! I try and counter it - saying hello and thank you to people I'm buying things from, holding the door, smiling at people if I meet their eye - I feel better for doing it. Sometimes people are having a terrible day (I think post-covid, economy, etc. issues have really exacerbated this) and a smile might help them even if it's for two seconds.We went through a collective trauma and we're still bruised.

PPs who are worried about over crowding have my support. DHand I were discussing this over breakfast, he told me the population of the city where we live has increased by 8% in the past ten years. The infrastructure has not increased or improved at all to match. No increase in school provision, hospitals or doctors and dentists. The roads are in a bad way, and the traffic has increased monumentally as our LibDem / Green coalition have unilaterally decided to install wide cycle lanes everywhere, including the quite narrow roads within two very busy industrial estates ( so the lorries now have to back up to let a cyclist through…or not, they go on the pavement, understandably). Family houses round here are being bought, knocked down and flats, sorry, ‘luxury apartments’ with the kitchen at one end of the only living room built instead. The population of that house area has been increased six or eightfold. Yes, I know people need somewhere to live, but there is no increase in the water supply or the waste water disposal. The gardens are tarmaced over for the residents to park, but there is nowhere for the children to play, or the residents to sit in the open air, except on balconies hanging over increasingly busy roads. I don’t know where the money from the extra council tax goes, but it certainly isn’t into local services and amenities.

I think people are just under constant stress through over crowding, and the enforced isolation through Covid broke the continuum of socialisation, so that when people did emerge and had to deal with each other, they had lost many of the coping mechanisms which make these situations bearable.

of course, society was already evolving into sneering at courtesy and consideration for other people, being polite even if you are actually seething. Social media encourages everyone to be the hero of their own life story / soap opera), and I think many people just can’t believe that other people are not just interested subscribers.

I remember reading many years ago that the Japanese had evolved rules of social behaviour to enable them to live at close quarters in houses with paper walls ( earthquake precaution); we could do with some of them.

I live overseas and came back to the uk for a long weekend. In the first 2 days we saw 2 fist fights and a huge verbal argument . I was so shocked and scared. The atmosphere seems so toxic, everyone is so on edge. The traffic situation doesn't help, but the fights we saw were alchol induced . With teenage sons, I'm so thankful to be living somewhere else.

All re overcrowding and overpopulation.

yes, I'm amazed what's happening. I thought there'd be a tipping point ages ago.

i'm worried we will end up like some of the other most overcrowded cities in the world - just concrete, high rises, and too many humans.

Social media and TV soaps/reality series have caused most of this in my opinion.

Re TV, arguments are staged and "normalised", like a Soap where neighbours bickering on the street or in the pub is an everyday event. Or in reality TV when artificial disputes/arguments are created for better TV.

As for social media, it's easy for people to hide behind their keyboards and write things they'd never say in real life, even moreso if they have an anonymous user name so can let out their "inner self" that no one else sees.

When it's "commonplace" on social media and on TV, it's very easy to lower your inhibitions and start acting the same in real life, where once you'd bite your lip and let it wash over you, people now have less control of their internal "filter" and just let rip.

It doesn't help that customer service is so often poor these days. That's not necessarily blaming the front line staff, though some don't help themselves, but they're also put under pressure by management, fewer staff so more work, management expecting more from their staff etc.

A real double edged sword really, from both sides of the "customer service" pinch point, i.e. more aggressive/demanding customers, but also more stressed staff, some with attitude problems. A perfect storm!

100% this. Also the horror of the Johnson premiership where he did exactly as he pleased with no regard for either the law or the effects of his actions. We've been properly had for years and years and I think it's slowly dawning on people and now they're angry but powerless.

Yes, I always try to be polite as you do, holding doors for people, saying hello when passing people on the footpaths, saying please & thank you in shops.

But it's often a thankless task. Shop assistants tend not to say please & thank you (if they say anything at all besides gruffly saying "five pounds fifty"). Hold a door open for someone and they just barge past you without saying a word. Probably 75% of people I say hello to on a walk blank you.

I still do it, as I've always done it and now in my 50's so it's just habit to do common courtesies. It's now a surprise when someone actually responds and acknowledges you.

This is really interesting. So many points I hadn't considered in my OP. It's like all these things are merging together at the same time and creating a tipping point.

I agree with the impotence about your vote not changing anything and there being no other options. Are the middle classes likely to riot though? More likely seethe for ages and then have an outburst when something tips them over the edge. I think that's what I'm seeing around me.

I do also think that people are worried about impending recession, coming immediately after a series of lockdowns due to Covid.

YANBU. It's social media, a culture of instant gratification and mainstream media fostering a victim mentally. Me, me, meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee and my feeeeeeeeeeels.

@BroomHandledMouser that was a very nice gesture.

I agree OP, everyone has forgotten basic manners and general niceties. It all seems a bit everyone for themselves.

With most people I haven't, but I have noticed that when the anger does happen it is as others said more infectious and getting worse.

Like recently, we had some teenagers gathered on a green that's a common walkthrough area who were shouting shite at people like they owned the place, though I've never seen them there before. I walked past ignoring them, but someone else started shouting back at them, and the teens started saying horrible stuff and threats to everyone around including at one of my kids and I could just feel my hackles rise in a way I normally would ignore and got drawn into it for a couple minutes. I felt awful after even though what I said was very tame compared to the vileness they were spewing, but it was pointless and probably only fanned the flames, no idea what came over me, I'm usually better at handling that.

There are some really insightful comments here, thank you to people for taking the time to express themselves so eloquently.

I can't help feeling that a coalition of mumsnetters could have all this shit sorted out by the weekend, and still have time to put the washing on.

(my family take the piss out of me for my mn addition but are then surprised by my ability to put forward balanced and considered opinions on an almost limitless range of subjects).

I saw two fist fights in as many hours last week when it was very hot.

People are angry and it's only getting worse.

I totally agree with this.

Overcrowding

And the fact that everything is just difficult.

I agree people are definitely stressed, and it shows in their behaviour, it’s no surprise given the huge increase in fuel, energy, food and just about everything else you can think of. I have seen this behaviour many times, usually a supermarket on Xmas Eve when people just lose the plot. It’s really sad the effect on people’s MH due to financial pressure.

At a deeper level I think we are actually suffering from the decline of religion. Bear with me.

I’m not religious like pretty much everyone I know, but I’m starting to think that when Nietzsche said “God is dead” and then went on to describe what happens when there is no unifying ‘God’, we are literally living it.

People have nothing to unite them, no code of conduct, no agreed rules, no higher purpose than themselves. Throw into the pot the cesspit of social media / general media fighting for clicks and viewers, we are all all over the place.

I sometimes get urges to go to church for some level of order. I don’t go because of the known issues but there is something in me craving a higher purpose and some unifying direction