Please help me organise my life! How do you do it?

[Namechanger355]

Hi there, am mum to a DD(3), work full time(lawyer with busy hours), am pregnant and starting a refurb. so a few things to think about and am miserably failing at being organised right now - or having a method of being organised.

I would appreciate any tips from you wise and busy mumsnetters on how you organise your life (whether you work or not - all helpful).

In particular, I have so many lists I get lost - I almost need a list of lists. Do you have one list for everything, or a list for e.g. work, kids, house stuff? Do you use paper or an app?

Im happy to update my "lists" every day but I want to be as efficient as possible.

thanks so much,

Cut out anything not essential (ironing, cooking beyond the basics,) your essentially will be different to mine.

I have one book that I write lists in so I can refer back when necessary.
presents and cards below is an example of how I try to organise things so my to do list isn’t too long.
I bulk buy cards. I have a pack of thank you cards, a pack of blank cards, a good selection of birthday cards, a few sympathy cards. So whatever the occasion there’s always a suitable card in the box. I have a box of gifts suitable for children and other of generic type gifts for adults for emergencies (nice garden twine, pack of notelets, wine, beer etc)
I’m also doing a house renovation and I recommend getting to know your local builders merchant well and buying as much as possible in the same place.

I use the google keep app on my phone and find it really useful (I typically prefer pen and paper but this really works for me). You can make numerous lists, colour code them, pin most used ones to the top etc. I use it for things like house jobs, longer term holiday plans, birthday present ideas. As my phone is with me all the time it is just easier to have them there for easy updating.

Some other things I do are:

• do a power hour clean (or half hour) where I just try to get as much done as possible (usually when my baby is asleep).
• I don't iron anything
• I follow the motto 'don't put it down, put it away' which helps keep mess at bay (everything needs a home for this to work)
• declutter regularly and don't buy much stuff especially for the house. Everything you buy is something which needs looking after so the less you have the easier your life becomes.

I also think its important to not try to be perfect and do everything 100% all the time. You might drop the ball here or there but you are human.
Also, ask for help if you can :) xx

I have one of these paper diaries. I prefer writing things down:
boxcleverpress.com/products/life-book-diary
I do to do lists each week in there and also there is space for shopping so i add things i run out of so i remember them when ordering food.

I have a weekly cleaner. I have one big notebook for all my lists and jottings. In this I have a main to do list and then one for each of the kids, a main budget costs list and each week I do a weekly list with dates. I do things as they come up like school admin and respond to texts and emails because otherwise I will forget. I keep the house decluttered and tidy to within an inch of its life so I don’t lose anything. I have a big wall calendar. I have an i tray on my study desk and do and file whatever is in it. I am on it like a car bonnet because I really have to be. It’s easier for my mental health if I know I haven’t forgotten anything and the house is clean and tidy. Despite all the above I sometimes just feel snowed under by it all. I also keep a notepad in my bag for shopping lists. With a big job, a three year old a refurb and a baby on the way I would be really getting the help in now and doing a shitload of planning to make sure you get some self care in so you don’t get too frazzled. Best of luck op

I use the Bullet Journal, designed by a man with ADHD, so it is super organised. The best bit is the index so you can find all the different lists you made. I love it, and I can’t even remember whether I had breakfast!

Thank you for the above! Such great advice

Do you have a DH/DP? If you do, what DH and I do is divide up the tasks and never really have to "think" about the other one's tasks....eg, DH deals with school/nursery (eg booking lunches, paying for holiday club) and I deal with drs/dentists/health (not just booking appointments but things like making sure the DC take their gummy vitamins or put on suncream properly)

I find it's the thinking about stuff that's most tiring tbh.

I've also tried lots of different bullet journals bit what we find best is a big kitchen calendar with everything written in.

I also don't iron anything unless absolutely vital (wedding guest/job interview outfit or similar) - ESPECIALLY not school uniform, but then my kids are in primary so I can get away with it with polo shirts.

I'm realistic about cleaning - I prioritise bathroom and kitchen and don't drive myself mad over the other rooms.

I'm realistic about meal-planning/cooking - I'm a good cook and enjoy cooking from scratch but I know I won't have time or energy every night during the week so rely on a nice pizza/ready-meal one night, something like boiled eggs and soldiers another night, and maybe something like roasted veg with couscous another night. That way I have three quick and easy meals before I'm out of the gates, as it were. I put some work in on a Sunday to prepare a few things for work lunches that week (rice salad, homemade hummous etc, which I can then mix with lots of salad, slice of ham etc for a quick office lunch). My kids only have packed lunches once a week and we keep those pretty simple.

My kids also only do clubs/activities that work for us as a family, so Cubs one night, swimming another, martial arts another. Any more than that would just make life harder for everyone.

We pay via DD for most things and I check these about once every two months to make sure they're all in order.

I have a huge box of all types of cards - I work on the basis you should never need to go out to get a card for someone 😁

HOWEVER. Very important disclaimer: I have a very equitable relationship in terms of division of labour. My parents are fairly local and I have a good support network. Neither of us work horribly long hours and I can WFH at least one day a week (and currently work PT). My kids' school is ten mins walk away. Neither of my kids have any SEN and both sleep fairly well.
I don't have any caring responsibilities for any elderly relatives. I live in a relatively low cost area in terms of CoL. I am able to get out for fresh air and exercise and time with friends, away from the home/kids. Our house is small enough to not be a massive drain on our time in terms of cleaning and maintenance. All these things means your mileage may vary and there's no magic formula for organisation as it's completely dependent on all the above plus various other factors. All you can do is try your best, make sure your partner (if you have one) is trying their best, and then lower your standards accordingly 😀

Post and paperwork. - I open all letters for our household (DH opens it if he gets to it first). I treat it like you would in a workplace. Flyers go straight to recycling. If it needs action deal with it the same day, if I can't deal with it the same day it goes in my pending tray. Anything else gets filed.
We have a family discussion about the weeks menus (dh does the food shop). Special requests are catered for first; Friday is always busy so it's always pizza so we can each cook our own to suit our schedules (DS cooks his own now). Tuesday is leftovers night as that's the night we put the bins out for collection so anything left after dinner goes in the food waste. The fridge is also checked for food that's about to go off, so we don't have it in the bin for a week.

What's on the lists?

Cleaner once a fortnight
Key areas cleaned daily - kitchen, bathroom. All washing put away
Robot vacuum
FamilyWall app - calendars, shopping lists, to do lists all in one

Other things are if you are making a meal that will freeze well - make 2 lots - one for next week - do this on rotation and you only need to cook for half the week.
Same with shopping get it delivered with a considered meal plan.
Ask for help! Send DH messages - buy milk- you don’t have to do it all .
I have a list on notes for everything - kids ask for something I write it down and then prioritize when I get round to it.

It stops things popping into your head and then feel like a failure.

If you’re a Mac user, I highly recommend Things. You have to pay for it but it’s the best thing for keeping me organised. You can have as many separate lists/projects as you like, e.g separate work and personal lists. You can tag actions with anything you like and set due dates. You get an email address that you can just forward important information to, including emails that need a response, and it adds it to your list.

it could potentially help with your list of lists problem. Provided that you use things like due dates and tags, it just means you can focus on the most pressing things.

I don’t work for them honestly! I’m a project manager and tried loads of tools and this is the best one for me, because it’s both v simple but also customisable.

the downside is if you want to use it across different devices, you have to pay for then separately.

I use the Cozi app. I can set up repeating items (e.g. daughter's violin lessons) and I can colour code them for each family member. Everyone in the family has access so can add their own things in. I also keep all my lists on there too and I can cross things out without deleting them. For example I have a list of cleaning jobs that I should do each week and I can cross them out as I go, them uncheck them at the start of the next week when they become due again

Why oh why are you doing this to yourself? For what purpose?

Your time is your most valuable gift. Don’t let it be robbed away from you and your family by unrelenting busyness. You are missing the beauty of each moment. Your life is whizzing past in a blur.
Lists of lists - Dear God! Your life sounds so crammed full, there's no room for you in it.

Stop, re evaluate, slow down, simplify. You don't need to add anymore ideas to your overstuffed schedule... you need to subtract... and then subtract some more.

Spend an hour or two at work each week to list absolutely everything that's on your mind to do. Work and home from buying a stamp to writing a contract. Be specific about the task (not the thing,) and then prioritize as to importance and time. Put into one master list for week and review update as you go through the week. Until next review date a week later.
It will work. I tend to use a digital tool when things are really frantic - prefably Todoist. Once you've done the above it will automatically sort the above and then you just work through the list methodically.

Don’t have a to do list-have a schedule. I was told this at a well-being workshop. Changed my life. I use my phone calendar and fit tasks in when I have time.

pre- lockdown it was ( non-private) tasks such as reading stuff on the train.

what I love is the flexibility- if I don’t get to a task I can move it to later/next day. rather than stressing that I haven’t competed a to do list I just change priorities

Absolutely everything goes in there- daily tasks and steps to long term goals.

I find it helps with stress as if I am concerned about something I make an appointment for myself to deal with it and forget about it until that time.

Oh and we have a shared family calendar that everyone uses in a different colour that shows on each persons phone calendar so we know if one of us is away/needs a lift

Me & DH have a shared Google calendar & absolutely everything goes on there so we both know exactly what's happening. I have reminders set up for birthdays etc but also things like putting the bin out, saves having to remember it just pops up on my phone & I do it. I just use the notes app on my phone for lists, its easy to add to when something pops into my head.

I’m with @seekingasimplelife

subtract stuff, then your mind will clear and you will be back in control.

Don’t get caught up in the business of busy. It’s competitive, fake and exhausting and just another way for people to feel superior to others.

Hang loose🙂

Can you give me recommendations of an app for this?

Following with interest 👀 I am also a lawyer with 2 kids (4 and 2) feel like I'm constantly chasing my tail.

@PerseverancePays please could you link to this?

To the posters that say, just unbusy yourself - how exactly? It's a nice sentiment, but around work, we still need to keep the house clean, keep everyone fed, make sure the kids have the correct items (wellies/ballet shoes/coat etc) for the correct day, remember to book their hair cuts (at a time when the hairdresser is open - it's all well and good remembering at 10pm), remember that it's a neice/nephew/grandparents birthday coming up, remembering that the kids need £1/to wear orange/pink/green for X charity day, do the food shop ad infinitum.

I try not to list every action on one list, for me it all becomes overwhelming. Keep to major headings with just the key actions. Also I find categorizing the tasks into the Important v Urgent matrix useful to help prioritize :

Priority 1 : Very Important - Urgent tasks
Priority 2 : Not important - Urgent tasks
Priority3 : Very Important - Not Urgent tasks
Priority 4 : Not important - Not Urgent tasks

I have an iPhone and just use the calendar app that comes with it- can set up repeating
entries which can be customised and use different coloured calendars for work/ home/hobbies etc. I don’t use any other apps- in the past I did but everything is in one place now- and it’s free- most to do apps want you to pay for them

I would also recommend Fudget for budgeting! I don’t know is it is an app you pay for as I have had it years.