Stay at home girlfriend

Fantablanket · 2022-07-24T19:07:38+00:00

I've come across @sept.oct.nov on TikTok, she has a millionaire boyfriend and has went from being in the corporate world to being a "stay at home girlfriend". After a few years, he's finally proposed to her. Would you ever do this? What would you fill your days with?

Blofield · 24/07/2022 20:08

Imagine not working that would be just bliss

Outlyingtrout · 24/07/2022 20:13

Absolutely not. No judgement on the staying at home, that's her/their choice, but it's usually not a smart move for an unmarried woman. Unless she's got something lined up to support herself if the relationship doesn't work out.

I do always think it's a bit mad when people can't seem to understand how anyone would fill their days without paid employment though. I can think of countless things (some productive, some frivolous) that I could do with free time like that. I don't subscribe to the idea that paid work = the meaning of life.

Original poster

Fantablanket · 24/07/2022 20:13

Blofield · 24/07/2022 20:08

Imagine not working that would be just bliss

Do you reckon you'd be anxious on the financial side of things incase he ever left?

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PipinwasAuntieMabelsdog · 24/07/2022 20:21

Gym, salon, shopping, hobbies, researching important people ahead of events, repeat? A bit like members of the RF? Not a life I would choose. I reckon it would be quite stressful because you'd have to look good at all times and I reckon, no matter how long they've been together, there is always an element of worry about being 'traded in'. I would worry for my children too, if I were very wealthy. My mother works in an entertainment venue and their is an extremely wealthy woman (not a celeb) who often sends her children to things, they are surrounded by 'nannies' aka bodyguards and their mother books rows and rows for each night of events because she is so anxious about them being targeted by kidnappers.

Skoolsout · 24/07/2022 21:11

I fill my days with visiting the spa where I am a member, seeing friends, going for walks, lunches out, going to the cinema, occasional shopping with a friend. I imagine this woman does the same.

oranmore · 24/07/2022 21:39

She probably makes money from her Tik Toks or whatever.
Either way, the odd day out mid week to meet friends or go to gym sounds lovely, but honestly, I'd be bored out of my tree, likely to de-skill, lose my sense of "importance" and independence. Plus I like to demonstrate a good work ethic to my children .

TaraRhu · 24/07/2022 22:56

I know someone that was a perpetual stay at home girlfriend. She was extremely attractive and actually very smart. She could have done anything she put her mind to. However, she had no work ethic or ambition of her own. She went from job to job and man to man. She always went for guys who worked in finance, were a bit older, and far less attractive than she was. These guys were chief executives, company directors etc. But they were vain and shallow and when a girl who was out of their league landed in their lap they'd jump at the chance.

She's move in within 6 weeks or so And usually give up whatever job she had. She was smart and passed as someone who could feasibly have a career. She'd usually give stress or bullying as a reason. Then she'd llive off that guy until it all went wrong. Then she'd get a job again... and a new guy. All very odd. Aside from her objectifying herself somewhat, the guys also had a 'creepy' controlling thing. They liked her being at home. One said there was no point in her working for the two years they were together as she was just going to be a wife soon (not to him as he dumped her)

She eventually snared a long term guy. She swung him a story about a health condition she had developed that meant she couldn't work. She did have a health issue but it didn't stop her doing anything else, like skiing, kayaking or holidaying. He proposed to her within 6 months. They married within a year.

I eventually found her whole life too toxic and we lost contact. The relationships were just so shallow/transactional. I have money m. You are pretty. Let's do it!

ChinBristles · 24/07/2022 22:59

So she's a live-in prostitute, basically?

Original poster

Fantablanket · 24/07/2022 23:36

TaraRhu · 24/07/2022 22:56

I know someone that was a perpetual stay at home girlfriend. She was extremely attractive and actually very smart. She could have done anything she put her mind to. However, she had no work ethic or ambition of her own. She went from job to job and man to man. She always went for guys who worked in finance, were a bit older, and far less attractive than she was. These guys were chief executives, company directors etc. But they were vain and shallow and when a girl who was out of their league landed in their lap they'd jump at the chance.

She's move in within 6 weeks or so And usually give up whatever job she had. She was smart and passed as someone who could feasibly have a career. She'd usually give stress or bullying as a reason. Then she'd llive off that guy until it all went wrong. Then she'd get a job again... and a new guy. All very odd. Aside from her objectifying herself somewhat, the guys also had a 'creepy' controlling thing. They liked her being at home. One said there was no point in her working for the two years they were together as she was just going to be a wife soon (not to him as he dumped her)

She eventually snared a long term guy. She swung him a story about a health condition she had developed that meant she couldn't work. She did have a health issue but it didn't stop her doing anything else, like skiing, kayaking or holidaying. He proposed to her within 6 months. They married within a year.

I eventually found her whole life too toxic and we lost contact. The relationships were just so shallow/transactional. I have money m. You are pretty. Let's do it!

Wow this is so interesting!

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Original poster

Fantablanket · 24/07/2022 23:37

@Skoolsout are you a SAHGF I'm assuming?

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TeapotTitties · 24/07/2022 23:39

ChinBristles · 24/07/2022 22:59

So she's a live-in prostitute, basically?

What's the female version of a cock lodger?

A vagina lodger maybe? 😂

Carrieonmywaywardsun · 24/07/2022 23:41

I was a SAHGF from 18-21. My now husband worked for us while I looked after him and the house. We lived seperately for the first year of our relationship but I lived near enough to look after both houses. No financial losses for either of us, it just works for some people

TaraRhu · 25/07/2022 08:14

@Fantablanket it was depressing! She had a lot of people in her 'world' who were not dissimilar. Attractive women who just wanted rich men and vice versa. It was all about status and perceived status from outside.

It's a very dangerous game for women to have no job or assets and live off a man without legal commitment. This ex friend of mine ended up sofa surfing / at her mums on numerous occasions. There was no reason for this. She was articulate, well educated, had a degree but just wanted to use her looks to get by. She'd just find someone to support her. Sometimes she was into them. Sometimes not so much . They were just paying the bills.

Some of the guys she was with were abusive too. There was one (who she actually cheated on and wasn't that into) that actually stalked her after she left him. Another hit her and the police were involved. There's no justification for that but she put herself on dangerous situations. You don't know someone well enough after a few weeks to move In and be living off.

BunnyChowLover · 25/07/2022 08:36

Sounds like my dream - being able to stay at home and not work. I would go to the gym, read a lot, get a pet, bake and maintain the house.

TheOnlyLivingBoyInNewCross · 25/07/2022 08:37

Skoolsout · 24/07/2022 21:11

I fill my days with visiting the spa where I am a member, seeing friends, going for walks, lunches out, going to the cinema, occasional shopping with a friend. I imagine this woman does the same.

What do you do with your brain though? Where’s the mental challenge?!

BottlingBurpsForGrandma · 25/07/2022 08:53

I wouldn't have done this as "just" a girlfriend, but would happily have been a stay at home wife before we had children. DH and I are definitely not wealthy (mortgage on a fairly normal house, DH earning £40k) but have had totally shared finances since the month before we moved in together, paid into a pension for me during mat leave etc. I assume a bright and intelligent woman - with financial means to do so - will have made similar provision.

What does she fill her days with?! I am always surprised at this question. Cooking, learning new skills, studying, volunteering, exercise, walking, meeting friends, museums. The same as when I was a SAHM, but without the kids in tow! Work is always there to go back to if you're open minded about getting back on the ladder.

figmaofmyimagination · 25/07/2022 08:56

Skoolsout · 24/07/2022 21:11

I fill my days with visiting the spa where I am a member, seeing friends, going for walks, lunches out, going to the cinema, occasional shopping with a friend. I imagine this woman does the same.

That does sound bloody lovely to be fair!

Are you financially protected, @Skoolsout?

whiteroseredrose · 25/07/2022 09:13

TheOnlyLivingBoyInNewCross · 25/07/2022 08:37

What do you do with your brain though? Where’s the mental challenge?!

Show quote history

Some of us don't want mental challenges. That's the point.

You may want them but don't assume everyone is like you.

D0lphine · 25/07/2022 09:27

Sounds good in theory but I'm a very type a person and would defo get fed up after a while. But that's just me, not everyone would be the same.

Being independently wealthy is more appealing. I'd never be on this drizzly little island and would spend my time exploring the world!

Spohn · 25/07/2022 09:42

It’s depressing how many people tie up their worth and time with selling their labour, if you enjoy selling your labour and hours of your life you’ll never get back, that’s on you. Many of us don’t need to do that for ‘mental stimulation’ or a hobby 😂

Very stupid to be dependent on a boyfriend though, unless she’s a millionaire herself. Another word for her is simply ‘unemployed’.

Tired2tired · 25/07/2022 10:01

I call bs on that account, tiny following on tiktok, but articles in the tabloids etc. Never shows the boyfriend, boasting about not working but doing merch (who tf is buying that) affiliate links, tiktok creator fund etc.

I call wanting to travel the world and make a bit of money doing it so made up a fake persona and a bit of credit card funded trips for rage views for ten please.

On the general idea of it, its not secure obviously, what if he leaves you or blows all his money or drops down dead etc.
I was a sah gf technically for much of our relationship before being married due to a disability, I constantly worry about the what ifs. If you're capable it's good to have a backup plan for if it goes tits up.

Original poster

Fantablanket · 25/07/2022 10:31

TaraRhu · 25/07/2022 08:14

@Fantablanket it was depressing! She had a lot of people in her 'world' who were not dissimilar. Attractive women who just wanted rich men and vice versa. It was all about status and perceived status from outside.

It's a very dangerous game for women to have no job or assets and live off a man without legal commitment. This ex friend of mine ended up sofa surfing / at her mums on numerous occasions. There was no reason for this. She was articulate, well educated, had a degree but just wanted to use her looks to get by. She'd just find someone to support her. Sometimes she was into them. Sometimes not so much . They were just paying the bills.

Some of the guys she was with were abusive too. There was one (who she actually cheated on and wasn't that into) that actually stalked her after she left him. Another hit her and the police were involved. There's no justification for that but she put herself on dangerous situations. You don't know someone well enough after a few weeks to move In and be living off.

See, this confuses me. If I was her, I'd have at least got the guys to invest or give me things that hold monetary value? I'm confused by the way she's done this! She could have done it much smarter if she had to.

OP posts:

Original poster

Fantablanket · 25/07/2022 10:31

BottlingBurpsForGrandma · 25/07/2022 08:53

I wouldn't have done this as "just" a girlfriend, but would happily have been a stay at home wife before we had children. DH and I are definitely not wealthy (mortgage on a fairly normal house, DH earning £40k) but have had totally shared finances since the month before we moved in together, paid into a pension for me during mat leave etc. I assume a bright and intelligent woman - with financial means to do so - will have made similar provision.

What does she fill her days with?! I am always surprised at this question. Cooking, learning new skills, studying, volunteering, exercise, walking, meeting friends, museums. The same as when I was a SAHM, but without the kids in tow! Work is always there to go back to if you're open minded about getting back on the ladder.

Do you reckon after a few year's break tho from the ladder that you'd get back in?! That would worry me! @BottlingBurpsForGrandma

OP posts:

Original poster

Fantablanket · 25/07/2022 10:33

Tired2tired · 25/07/2022 10:01

I call bs on that account, tiny following on tiktok, but articles in the tabloids etc. Never shows the boyfriend, boasting about not working but doing merch (who tf is buying that) affiliate links, tiktok creator fund etc.

I call wanting to travel the world and make a bit of money doing it so made up a fake persona and a bit of credit card funded trips for rage views for ten please.

On the general idea of it, its not secure obviously, what if he leaves you or blows all his money or drops down dead etc.
I was a sah gf technically for much of our relationship before being married due to a disability, I constantly worry about the what ifs. If you're capable it's good to have a backup plan for if it goes tits up.

I thought the same for months and used to scroll past her content on my FYP! But I googled her and turns out her boyfriend has been named before online and they know who it is (I'm assuming people from her area have spilled).

Agree with the merch. Surely your millionaire bf would be like wtf when he sees you wear that 🤣🤣

OP posts:

Octomore · 25/07/2022 10:39

If she's not married she's a fool. She has gambled her future security on a man who has no real ties to her.

She has put herself in a position where she can't disagree with him, or argue, or assert boundaries, without risking being homeless and skint. She has put herself in a position where she is not able to leave if he becomes abusive.

He may have proposed now, but until the wedding has actually gone ahead, she is in a perilous position.

Fool.