Stay at home girlfriend

[Fantablanket]

I've come across @sept.oct.nov on TikTok, she has a millionaire boyfriend and has went from being in the corporate world to being a "stay at home girlfriend". After a few years, he's finally proposed to her.

Would you ever do this? What would you fill your days with?

Do you really think many wealthy men are going to be falling over themselves to give investments or other things of significant monetary value to a girlfriend who they haven't even been with that long?

If there is one thing wealthy people tend to be good at, it's keeping old of money. They might be happy to spend just enough to keep an attractive girl on their arm for the time being, but sign over their investments to her? No chance.

Some may be fools, but most aren't. Which is why you do not gamble your future security in this way.

^keeping hold of money

@Octomore I know what you mean, but I was meaning more give gifts to their girlfriend that maybe if anything should happen, they can resell - I don't mean actual investments. I always assumed women would get allowances in this scenario? So they could save and invest some of that maybe.. not sure.

Would I do this? No. It is terribly risky.

how would I fill my days? I would be a full time artist.

Why would a wealthy man give a girlfriend that he's been seeing for a year or so a sizable allowance? What's in it for him?

More likely scenario is that she's allowed to live with him without contributing to bills etc (all this really costs him is the price of her food), gets to spend a bit of money on clothes/handbags/beauty (possibly a small allowance, but she will need to spend it on appearance to fulfil the expectations of her role), and gets to go on flash holidays with him (which benefits him as he then has company).

Why would he spend more than that on a girlfriend?

If he truly loved her and wanted to share his assets with her, he'd marry her. So you have to look at it from that perspective - this is a woman he probably isn't that serious about.

Also, if her only access to money is via his credit card, she cannot use that to save or invest.

Really interesting - would you think the same even if it was early on in the relationship for example he wouldn't marry her that soon?

Yes I would.

An early days relationship where marriage isn't being considered is, by definition, not serious. It may become serious in future, but why would a man give an allowance to a women he's only early days with?

Credit card access is the most likely scenario for this kind of relationship, not a sizable allowance.

I think some women think that their youth and good looks are worth far more than they actually are. Men will pay to have an attractive, lively partner on their arm, but they won't pay more than they have to.

A married SAHM mum scenario is very different - there is long term commitment there, and children to be cared for. There are real ties on the man which give the whole family more security.

@Fantablanket she got the new husband to buy her a flat in her name when they got engaged. This was the only one she managed to get anything from. The rest just cut her out when they'd had enough.

A lot of the time the families of the men were very suspicious of her. This was both fair and unfair. Ultimately, she just wanted a husband to look after her. Some guys she really thought would marry her and she wanted to marry them. I think she had 5 or 6 live in relationships where she didn't work or quit her job.

The guy she ultimately married came from the Southern Hemisphere and his parents and close friends were thousands of miles away. I think he had issues tbh. We saw him hit his dog once which doesn't bode well.

I see her posting on Facebook. She eventually had a baby and seems to have spent his money on cars and property. She looks happy and I hope she is but i doubt she is.

This was the only one she managed to get anything from. The rest just cut her out when they'd had enough.

This sounds about right.

Ultimately, youth and good looks are not scarce enough to be worth very much. Pretty 20-somethings who'd like a man to look after them are a dime a dozen. And the kind of man who's happy to enter into this sort of transactional relationship is not the kind you can rely on.

Most men who are looking for a genuine committed relationship for the long term will be looking for a partnership of equals if possible. E.g. if they work, they will expect their partner to work, at least before children arrive.

She's not the only one on TikTok. I've seen one bragging about the same thing. She says her job is to make his life comfortable. She gets up early to make his breakfast, is given expensive presents, fills her days shopping, going to the gym, watching TV. All filmed for TikTok btw. It looks as boring af. She says if they spilt up she'll get a job and she has investments. But I don't believe her about the investments. She says she purposely looked for a man who was successful enough so she didn't need to work

I've known a couple, but both had family money to fall back on if all went wrong.

They both eventually married a very rich guy (not the first one). Frankly, they have very full time jobs. They are expected to manage multiple households with staff numbers resembling a medium size business, as well as looking photo ready from 7am to whenever the last of the evening entertainment ends. One of the ones I know has a live in personal trainer, and trains twice a day every day (including xmas and new year's day).

The evening entertainment is fairly relentless, which they must organise everything for (and get shouted at if anything goes wrong).

Plus they have to travel around with their husbands and make sure all the logistics are smooth enough that he doesn't even notice they are happening.

And then they have to shag the creeps...ugh. No amount of money is enough.

I agree. No amount of money could possibly be enough.

I'm guessing the minute their bodies and faces start to show a bit of age, the men will move on to a younger model. (Hence the personal trainers)

I would love this. I would read and walk for entertainment and lunch out. I would cook meals from scratch every day rather than just the weekends. It would be bliss and having worked since I was 14 (50 now) I don't need the mental challenge :)

I have a friend like this. She is very pretty, her DP is very nerdy, but rich investment banker. He is a very nice guy, but has pretty much zero social skills or outside interests. He does however wants the well-run household and status symbols (inc sports cars and watches and trophy GF). She manages everything, house renovation, they travel almost every month and even 2-3 times a month, so she researches and books the trips, she is majorly into fitness and has two PTs, does a lot of designer shopping, also walks the dogs and reads a lot of books and manages food shopping etc and social calendar. I think they are TTC as well. They are both really nice people, but I am not sure it's for everyone.

No, I’d be bored shitless. There’s only so much reading, cooking and working out a person can do before they go utterly batshit. I think it’s crazy for a woman to be so dependent on a man in 2022 as well, if he cheated on her or just left her one day what would she do?

There was quite a long thread asking this a few weeks ago.

A lot of people didn't read what the OP had said and started defending being a SAHP, but aside from that, it followed much the same question.

You definitely need a different job if this is how you feel about the one you’ve got…

It’s depressing how many people tie up their worth and time with selling their labour, if you enjoy selling your labour and hours of your life you’ll never get back, that’s on you

Oh dear. Think you're in the wrong job. I work in a rewarding profession, helping patients in a daily basis and supporting and passing my knowledge down to the next generation. I'm not selling my labour. It's a genuine passion. Most rewarding.

I’d love to be independently wealthy to live the lifestyle, without the crippling fear of being reliant on my looks/body keeping him interested. As it is, I’m a SAHM and hate being financially reliant upon DH and his behaving reasonably and being faithful. I can’t help but feel being solely reliant upon someone for financial security is a really rather terrible idea, regardless of marital status, but it’s way too late for me now!

I've got an ex friend like this except whenever manage to get anyone wealthy. She thinks she is pulling her weight by working part time. She meets a man, either moves in with him or him with her, gets him to pay for everything, sometimes marries them, it falls apart and shes back on the hunt. Nothing comes before her having a man.

I can see her being dumped again pretty quickly. She will end up a lonely, broke old woman.

@Frogium there's a lot of couples like that near me in London. A lot of these banker types are basically maths geeks that have found with a huge bank balance they can now get the ' popular girl'. It's pretty pathetic.