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Original poster

BIL and wife really being really selfish.

48 replies

JustlookingNotbuying · 24/07/2022 15:21

My BIL and his wife both have Covid.
BIL had the worst of it last week and although he is still testing positive he feels ok and is back at work.
His wife came down with it yesterday, she is feeling rough (flu-like, high temp, shivers and aches) and has been in bed since yesterday.
Their washing machine has broken down and last week they arranged for a guy to come and repair it tomorrow.
I was FaceTiming them today and SIL said she couldn’t wait to get the machine fixed. I asked if the guy was happy to come into their home knowing she had Covid, in which she replied that she hasn’t told him, she’s desperate to get it fixed as the washing is piling high (it’s only the two of them at home, no kids). She said she will let him in but keep away from him.
I said that’s really selfish, that a broken washing machine wasn’t an emergency situation and the very least they could do was inform the guy and give him the option whether he wanted to enter their home or not.
SIL got very stroppy with me and said fixing the machine was more important (she has OCD) and she has no intention of letting the guy know and it will be fine as she will stay upstairs.
I know she has OCD and the washing piling up is giving her anxiety but this is still really selfish - isn’t it?

OP posts:
Soubriquet · 24/07/2022 15:23

Yeah that’s selfish and incredibly dangerous too.

She is knowingly exposing someone to an infection that could kill them or a family
member

Hbh17 · 24/07/2022 15:26

Well, I'd say their first mistake was testing (why? what was the point?). Their second mistake was telling people they have Covid. Otherwise, absolutely fine - it's not a big deal and they wouldn't cancel if they had a cold or flu. Time for folk to stop the over-dramatic reactions....

Bindayagain · 24/07/2022 15:27

But she could go to work or to the shops or anywhere really at the moment?
It would be better if her dh could stay home. She can minimise contact with open windows and wearing a mask. I'd be surprised if he caught covid with the limited contact she's likely to have with him.
(I would give a different answer back when isolation was required but it isn't)

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Bindayagain · 24/07/2022 15:28

Where I live 1 in 15 people has covid so I don't think it's easy to avoid at all

Original poster
JustlookingNotbuying · 24/07/2022 15:29

Soubriquet that’s just what I said to them, that they know nothing about this guys health or that of his family members, they may easily recover but someone vulnerable may not.
I am also angry BIL went to FIL’s today to get some of their washing done at his, putting 81 year old FIL at risk too.

OP posts:
Original poster
JustlookingNotbuying · 24/07/2022 15:32

Yes, it’s everywhere atm but surely it’s just courtesy to let the guy know the situation and he can make an informed choice if he wants to go or not.
My dad was a plumber and I remember one Christmas time he worked in a house where the guy informed him several hours later that the whole family had just had norovirus. Needless to say dad caught it, gave it to us all at home and our Christmas was ruined.

OP posts:
Original poster
JustlookingNotbuying · 24/07/2022 15:43

Hbh17 BIL has to test twice a week as part of his job. Many of us still have to. I work with vulnerable people, I do too.

OP posts:
LizzieSiddal · 24/07/2022 15:47

Of course they should tell him, they should also say they will have all windows open, will wear a mask and provide hand gel. He can then make his own mind up.

I know our electrician has a very vulnerable wife and there’s no way I’d ask him to come here if we had Covid.

Rinatinabina · 24/07/2022 15:51

On one hand I think if you ever leave your home at all you are likely to come into contact with it. On the other hand I would let someone know. I let my cleaner know so it was her choice if she wanted to come in or not.

Fe345fleur · 24/07/2022 15:59

OCD isn't an excuse for putting someone else's health at risk. COVID is still a very real danger for people who are vulnerable. Telling him is the ethical thing to do, as then he has the choice.

Unforgettablefire · 24/07/2022 16:06

I think it's selfish especially when it's something that's capable of killing people. He might be vulnerable himself yet has to still go to work.
I hate people coming to my house when they're ill with something infectious knowing they'll probably pass it on and I wouldn't do it to anyone else.
It's hardly over dramatics the virus is still killing people so if you can avoid inflicting misery on others then you should do so.

Bpdqueen · 24/07/2022 16:15

Really selfish people are still dying from covid or getting long covid. The washing machine could of waited a week

CbaThinkingOfAUsername · 24/07/2022 16:16

Hbh17 · 24/07/2022 15:26

Well, I'd say their first mistake was testing (why? what was the point?). Their second mistake was telling people they have Covid. Otherwise, absolutely fine - it's not a big deal and they wouldn't cancel if they had a cold or flu. Time for folk to stop the over-dramatic reactions....

Surely you would cancel it if you had flu? Who would knowingly subject someone to the flu?

ilovesooty · 24/07/2022 16:18

If you know you have covid you shouldn't have people in your house and not tell them.

Blossomtoes · 24/07/2022 16:18

It's hardly over dramatics the virus is still killing people

Seven in the last week - all over 80. I really think some people are being absolute drama queens about this now.

Bpdqueen · 24/07/2022 16:22

@Hbh17 so basically because nobody you know has died from covid or ended up with organ failure or other debilitating conditions from long covid everyone should just ignore it. Yes we all need to live our lives but with precautions the same as if it was flu or a cold I still wouldn't invite random people round unnecessarily when I could just wait a week.

Kite22 · 24/07/2022 16:46

LizzieSiddal · 24/07/2022 15:47

Of course they should tell him, they should also say they will have all windows open, will wear a mask and provide hand gel. He can then make his own mind up.

I know our electrician has a very vulnerable wife and there’s no way I’d ask him to come here if we had Covid.

This.

Quite probably, the washing machine man (wmm) would still come anyway. He has to earn a living and - as has been said it is rife everywhere at the moment, and anyone going from home to home will presumably do what they can to mitigate risk, but the point is, SiL doesn't know what his circumstances are and ought to offer wmm the choice.

CallOnMe · 24/07/2022 16:48

Well, I'd say their first mistake was testing (why? what was the point?). Their second mistake was telling people they have Covid. Otherwise, absolutely fine - it's not a big deal and they wouldn't cancel if they had a cold or flu. Time for folk to stop the over-dramatic reactions....

Let me guess - you’re not SE or have anyone vulnerable around you.

Not everyone is privileged enough to be able to afford time off work and most of us have vulnerable people around us or just aren’t selfish so don’t like to spread our covid, flu, chicken pox, norovirus etc germs around.

HermioneWeasley · 24/07/2022 16:49

If she didn’t come into contact with him, what’s the risk?

pictish · 24/07/2022 16:55

What’s it got to do with you? I don’t mean to be rude but even if we all say yes, she’s selfish…what of it? What will you gain?

Refrosty · 24/07/2022 17:04

It's the being sick and still inviting people into your house bit... This should never be a thing, Covid or no Covid.

So now, if he catches her lurgies, he'll either have to soldier on infecting others, or take a day off sick which might affect him financially. Glad her machine is fixed though.

Chooksnroses · 24/07/2022 17:15

Hbh17 · 24/07/2022 15:26

Well, I'd say their first mistake was testing (why? what was the point?). Their second mistake was telling people they have Covid. Otherwise, absolutely fine - it's not a big deal and they wouldn't cancel if they had a cold or flu. Time for folk to stop the over-dramatic reactions....

Tell that to someone like my cousin, who has just lost her 30 year old daughter to Covid.

StaunchMomma · 24/07/2022 17:28

Yes, really selfish.

She's entirely unaware of his personal circumstances.

And all of these arseholes banging on about a cold/flu' and questioning why people bother testing now clearly didn't lose any of their loved ones, did they?!!

Selfish AF.

StaunchMomma · 24/07/2022 17:30

Hbh17 · 24/07/2022 15:26

Well, I'd say their first mistake was testing (why? what was the point?). Their second mistake was telling people they have Covid. Otherwise, absolutely fine - it's not a big deal and they wouldn't cancel if they had a cold or flu. Time for folk to stop the over-dramatic reactions....

Do you realise how hideously cruel you sound to those who lost loved ones to Covid?

Take just a second to think about those who weren't as lucky as you, yeah?

MyneighbourisTotoro · 24/07/2022 17:35

There’s no need to isolate anymore and hardly anyone is going to pay for a test now so I would think most people who have to do house calls as part of their job will be exposed to covid more often than not, I highly doubt he’ll catch it from her, morally she should inform him and she should completely disinfect the area he needs to work in and keep all windows open and stay away from him with a mask on but there are so many people walking around with covid right now it’s very hard to avoid.