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Original poster

Pure curiosity as I’m bored …

121 replies

Ifyoudid · 23/07/2022 21:00

If you had to choose a baby at 20, or a baby at 40, which would you go for?

Assuming that you had no issues conceiving either time.

OP posts:
LocalHobo · 23/07/2022 21:40

If it were guaranteed I could give birth to a healthy baby, 40.
I would have been an incompetent Mother at 20 but, I by no means think that applies to every 20 year old.

Mythreefavouritethings · 23/07/2022 21:42

40, and I did! I had no fear in my 20s and did things that would terrify me now! But then it’s all I know, and if I’d had one at 20, I’d like to think I’d still be sitting back with happy memories.

LilyMarshall · 23/07/2022 21:43

40

Mythreefavouritethings · 23/07/2022 21:43

Here, not back

ivykaty44 · 23/07/2022 21:43

20

Hellocatshome · 23/07/2022 21:45

20 definitely. I'm 38 now and definitely do not have the same amount of energy I did at 20.

Mochatatts · 23/07/2022 21:46

40 I had my first at 26 and wasn't really ready. 2nd just before I turned 30 and that was better. Just had my 3rd at 39 and I've much more patience. Haven't had much support at anytime. But definitely more rounded now, slightly less energy some days though.

Titsywoo · 23/07/2022 21:48
  1. I like that I had my kids earlier (I was 25).
Titsywoo · 23/07/2022 21:48
  1. I like that I had my kids earlier (I was 25).
DramaAlpaca · 23/07/2022 21:49

Definitely not 20. Much too young for me. 40 is a bit too old, but far preferable to 20.

Unsurprisingly I had mine within a couple of years either side of 30.

Cakecakecheese · 23/07/2022 21:51

40 but I would say that as I'm 41 and pregnant with my first baby. I was nowhere near ready at 20 and I hadn't met the right man to be the father.

easyday · 23/07/2022 21:51
  1. I had mine at 41 and 43. I couldn't imagine having one at 20 - for one thing I had no idea who I was then, the guy I was with I was in love with but we wouldn't have lasted. As it happened I had built up a career, so could have gone back to it, was more financially stable and was emotionally ready. Only regret is my parents had me in their mid 30s so were late 70s when my kids came along.
ChagSameachDoreen · 23/07/2022 21:54

My 20s and 30s were amazing for my career and social life. Glad to have all that as a foundation now I have children.

Footbal · 23/07/2022 21:54

20, I wouldn't have had the energy at 40

tootiredtoocare · 23/07/2022 21:57

Age 20. I was unwell during pregnancy at 36 due to a health condition (It was an unexpected pregnancy). DC is 12 and very much loved, but their older siblings (22 & 20) are independent and I would have liked DH and myself to have our independence now too. Instead, we're still raising a child.

C152 · 23/07/2022 21:57

With 20:20 hindsight, I would say 20. You're young enough to recover physically and mentally, you've got loads of time to get your career going and you'll still be young enough to enjoy life once your kid is grown up.

Blossomtoes · 23/07/2022 21:59
  1. I was 21 and had my life back again before I was 40.
lljkk · 23/07/2022 22:01

40 for me.
I absolutely did not want babies at age 20, so.... that would have been a disaster.

WhatIsThisPlease · 23/07/2022 22:03
  1. I had mine at 30 and 32 but would love to have been a younger mum (and hopefully one day a younger grandma!)
Dalaidramailama · 23/07/2022 22:03

keys to first house - 18
1st baby - 21
2nd baby - 23
3rd baby - 26
Marriage - 27
1st class Degree - aged 33.

I am currently aged 33. 40 is now positively ancient to me in terms of reproducing.

UnicornMadeOfPinkGlitter · 23/07/2022 22:04
  1. I was 21 when I had my first and 29 when I had my third. I now am able to have a social life and go on holidays and do what I want as they are now old enough to do what they want as well. Youngest is 16 and great company. eldest moved out about 4:5 years ago and middle one at uni.
orangeisthenewpuce · 23/07/2022 22:09

orangeisthenewpuce
20. That's not when I had mine but I think 20's are the best time to have a child.

How so? You wouldn’t have finished university, unlikely to own a house, barely out of teens? Also relationships are more likely to break down at that age as you change so much (obviously there are exceptions

Not everyone goes to university Grin

Ringmaster27 · 23/07/2022 22:12

I had my eldest when I was 20.
The way I see it, when she’s 18, I still have a big chunk of life ahead of me, and will still be young enough to do what I want with that time.
I feel like people who have babies later in life have more to give up if that makes sense? I don’t miss the freedom, the social life, the child-free holidays etc because I’ve never had them 🤷🏻‍♀️ I feel like I’d miss those things terribly if I’d done them all in my 20’s and then left it all behind to have babies.

AppleBottomRats · 23/07/2022 22:19

40 - when I was 20 I was having the time of my life as a student (graduated when I was 22) and there’s no way I would have wanted to miss that for a baby. Plus I wouldn’t have been able to get my career without my degree and internships.

hippoherostandinghere · 23/07/2022 22:20
  1. I was 24 and my mum had 12 and 10 years with my DC before she died. I'm not yet 40 so if I had waited she wouldn't have met them and they wouldn't have had that precious time with her.