Pure curiosity as I’m bored …

[Ifyoudid]

If you had to choose a baby at 20, or a baby at 40, which would you go for?

Assuming that you had no issues conceiving either time.

20....I was 26 having my first. I had the 2nd 13 months later.
I absolutely wouldn't have planned to have one at 40. I can't imagine what it would be like now at 52, full on menopause and a 12 year old with the teenage joys to come.
I know due to life some people have no choice.

I had one a 19 and at 39… 🤣

I was 20 when I was pregnant with my first, 21 when I gave birth - I'm 26 now and have three children all close together in age, I wouldn't change it for the world! ❤️

40 is a little old for me but definitely preferable to 20.

How so? You wouldn’t have finished university, unlikely to own a house, barely out of teens? Also relationships are more likely to break down at that age as you change so much (obviously there are exceptions).

unfortunately house prices and rental costs are such that if you have children at that age you will be much less likely to ever own a house given the cost of childcare and increased rent. 20 is not an ideal age to have a child imo.

I was not ready for a child at 20, or anything like stable enough. I am 42 and pregnant with my second. I would prefer to be younger, in part because I would like more and I cannot see it now but also for more energy. This pregnancy is taking more out of me than the first time. I did start ttc at 30, but that has not been an easy path and I am really lucky to have my dc and to be pregnant again.

20, and I did.

Physically 20.
Emotionally 40.
If forced to choose, I'd go 40.

20

I had my first at 22. It’s definitely had a negative impact on my earnings / career pathway; but I want as much time with my children as possible. If I were to die at 50 I’d rather leave behind a 30 year old than a 10 year old.

There is a big difference in just about every way between 20 and 25, for example.

i grew up with DS1 through my 20s. I got an education. Made a life. I wouldn’t suggest it as the best way to do anything. I had DS2 in my late 20s. The difference was enormous. More than a decade later, life is much more comfortable in all sorts of ways with DS3.

There isn’t a best time. You make what you can of when you have them.

Baby at 20! (My first baby was at 23) I'm early 30s now and have 2 kids and couldn't picture waiting another 10 years to have a baby! You couldn't pay me to have a baby at this age lol!

Out of those two - 40. I had a great time in my 20s and wouldn't have wanted to miss out on that!

imo 20 is too young. I was far too selfish & busy to contemplate a child at 20 & would feel like I’d missed out. I loved my 20’s holidays with friends, parties, money to spend & just having so much fun!

20 because you have more energy. 40 because you have more wisdom.

I’ve had one at 26 and 39. I’m knackered now but find it much easier to multi task!

and I’d wack loads into my pension, climb the career ladder, and travel, travel, travel before I got to 40.

20. I was in my late twenties when I had my first and late thirties having my last. I much preferred being in my twenties with a young baby / toddler. My mum could help and I had more energy.

If you were only having one child definitely 40.

Physically 20. That’s the only thing about being younger that I’d chose to have a baby before I did - for me I had my first (stillborn) at 38 and second (excluding miscarriages) at 42 - she’s severely disabled. I know I could not have lived the way I do now, at 20. Or 30. I’m 47 and built like an ox from carrying her around.
ideally, I’d have her at 37. But I still wouldn’t change my life. Or my children

I had DD1 @15
DD2 @ 38
Both had +/-
When I had Dd1 I definitely had more energy
Dd2 I had more money 😝😝

40 - your 20's are for going out, having fun, starting out in the world of work - new experiences as an 'adult' - you can't do that with a baby in tow.

40 - I couldn’t have coped with a baby at 20; there were far too many things I wanted to do and places to go at that age.

I was far too busy getting established with my career, travelling, partying and having a very selfish time of my life at 20.

Finally ready and had 1st at 33 then 2nd at 44.Perfect time for us.

40

I'd done done everything I wanted a few years before that. No real need or desire to socialise or travel any more as I'd done so much of that. Got a good education, become financially independent, owned a house.

At 20 I think I would have resented the commitment and been ill equipped to cope, both emotionally and financially.

I appreciate others are very different and can be completely capable mothers at 20. I just wouldn't have been.

40, definitely. I was way too immature and in to partying too much when I was 20. By the time I had my DTs at 32 I’d settled down and had got it all out of my system. I know thousands of women are excellent mothers at 20, but I wouldn’t have been one of them.

40