Do people lie to themselves frequently?

[lightand]

Probably being naive.

People lie to themselves often?
Try and deceive themselves often?
Are in denial about things often?

I cant see the point myself, but is that what many people go around doing?
And do they succeed in lying to themselves?

I lie to myself every evening: “tomorrow I’m going to get up super early, go to the gym before work, make myself a really healthy lunch, and be 100% focused and productive at work and not spend most of the day shoe shopping online.”

Is that the sort of thing you mean?

Almost every time I go to the pub with my mates and tell myself I'm going to have one, maybe two drinks max, then switch to sparkling water.

No, not really. I mean, denying about things you have said or think. Go around thinking you are things which you are clearly not, or are behaving well when you clearly dont. That type of thing.
Even, I ate or drank such and such, while not telling yourself or others the other half of what you ate or drank. Trying to deceive yourselves and others.

Thank you for the replies.
No I dont really mean intentions. We can all go astray on those.
But lying to yourself about things that have already happened.

I don't think lying to yourself about things that already happened is called lying, it's denial.

I don't think lying to yourself is a conscious decision, it's your brains way of protecting you normally. As such, most people won't know whether they lie to themselves or not until faced with someone else's view of events or some evidence that shows their understanding/memory to be untrue.

Yes. My mother wouldn't identify with lying to herself at all but she has a very clear image of herself as perfect and if that's not reflected back to her, she will turn on you quite angrily and perceive you to be the problem.
My x was the same.

Isnt denial it about refusing to admit? To yourselves or others presumably?
Not quite the same thing?

But I am interested in a chat about all of it.

That was in reply to @grapehyacinthisactuallyblue

@NuffSaidSam Lying to yourself has to be a conscious decision surely?
Not meaning saying something, and then realizing you are wrong at a later date.

@TreePoser Do you think your mother actually believes she is perfect?
This is the sort of thing I mean.
What is their real thought process as opposed to what they tell the rest of us?

I don't think there would be any value in it if it was a conscious decision would there?

If you knew you were shit, but thought, 'oh I'll just tell myself I'm great '. There's no value in that is there?

You have to genuinely believe and therefore it has to be unconscious i.e. they don't know the truth, they genuinely believe they're great.

The majority of my exes have certainly done this.

This is what I am trying figure out about someone.

I would have said people do do that "for value". As in, it makes them less fearful, more corageous, more macho in front of other men. Fake it until you believe it type thing?
And they would get further in business if the "back themselves".

Pretend they are great, or lie to themselves. Or both.

My lies -

I'm going to lose weight
I'll go to the gym
I'm going to get a hobby
I'll finish the ironing
etc., etc.

If they are lying to themselves then how would you know?

Pretend their shitty behaviour was entirely reasonable, mainly. Which I think involved lying to themselves. But several clearly lied to me about significant tangible things as well. Not sure whether they believed their own lies.

You can’t really lie to yourself surely?

I think some people lie to others and project an image of themselves or an event which they know isn’t true, the question there is more why do they do it and why don’t they feel more guilt when they deceive others.

I think then there’s another set of people who or lie to others but are in denial or ignorant/ oblivious to how things really are and manage to unknowingly twist things in their heads and don’t even realise that they are lying because they see things so subjectively they can’t see the truth.

Sometimes of course people can do both, I think some people can tell lies so often that even when they started off knowing so,etching wasn’t true it can get to a point where they start to believe their lies themselves and the line between truth and fiction becomes blurred.

Is it cognitive dissonance really? I used to have an asthma inhaler and a pack of cigarette in my bag and felt no conflict in that. After a bit I couldn't make tha5 work. The reality of the asthma got past what i was telling myself. Then I heard myself lie to the gp abkut how much I smoked.
I gave up in the end beca7se I knew if I wanted breath the smoking had to stop so it's made it easier and I've stayed smoke freebforb7 years

I think everyone rationalises their own behaviour to themselves constantly.

I could (not) do this thing that deep down I know I should (not) do, but it won't make any difference/nobody else will notice/I’d lose my job if I did/my friends would be angry/my parents would be angry, etc. etc.

I need to read these replies carefully.

I am beginning to think for the first time, that perhaps a specific person actually believes their own hype.
In which case I need to change tack?
Get 6 people to say that what they are saying or believing about themselves is rubbish?
Dont know if that would work. But maybe worth a shot.

Get 6 people to say to person A that what person A is saying or belieivng about person A is rubbish. I hope I am being clear.

Well done.

I think then there’s another set of people who or lie to others but are in denial or ignorant/ oblivious to how things really are and manage to unknowingly twist things in their heads and don’t even realise that they are lying because they see things so subjectively they can’t see the truth.

Person A could be doing this.
Person A is incredibly biased about many things.

For the first time, I am considering whether there is sort of something wrong with Person A.