Heartbreaking. Child abused and then murdered.

[Dilbertian]

Poor Sebastian. https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-leeds-62163849

Where was his school in all of this? How could ongoing months of abuse not have been noticed and flagged him as a child at risk? Or did the school do this, and Sebastian was failed by agencies further along the line?

I am truly lost for words. That poor boy 🥺🥺

This is sickening, it's also one of the reasons I hate the summer holidays, so many children are abused and it falls under the radar with no school intervention etc.

@NeverDropYourMooncup Of course it’s not their fault that he didn’t tell them. How on earth could it be their fault? That teacher sounds like she was looking out for him and really tried to connect with him and get him to open up. He was clearly unable to tell her, either because he was too frightened or just psychologically not ready to disclose. That is tragic but not the fault of that poor woman, who sounds like she was someone who noticed and cared about him.

Obviously there will be a fuller picture given in the serious case review, but from what has been reported so far, the school don’t sound like they sat on significant information to me.

SS do not investigate unless there is reasonable evidence. A vague feeling or impression would not meet any evidence threshold. There are many kids that teachers think are not that well looked after. There will be thousands of reports of kids looking a bit dishevelled or withdrawn. Schools monitor these kids. SS do not intervene in these cases unless there is evidence of harm or a disclosure from the child.

So what would your answer be ?
Abusive parents are abusive parents ,they don't just become abusive in the school holidays ,the poor lad could have just as easily been murdered on a school night ,and the vast majority of parents love and care for their children ,it's a horrific case but I don't think we can blame the school set up .

And tbf teenage boys can often look a bit dishevelled, I have a 15 year old son ,who has been growing his hair for the past two years if I didn't nag him to brush it would be a right mess.

Just heartbreaking beyond belief and way beyond comprehension. I disagree that the death penalty should be brought back for cases like this, that's too much of an easy way out. They should be tortured and made to feel in constant terror, the same way they did to beautiful Sebastian.

If only we frowned more upon mothers moving adult males unrelated to their children into those children's homes. The children have no say. Just put your romantic life on pause slightly until the children you chose to have are grown up. And I'd say the same to men moving in women who are unrelated to the child.

In fact, I've heard schoolteachers sigh when "mummy gets a new boyfriend" as they know the child will start going downhill (again).

I do agree but with house prices/housing shortages/cost of living/people having to use food banks to feed their children, how possible is it nowadays for single mums to survive on their own if the dad disappears? People assume it's because they are putting their sex life first when it could be that they are worried about feeding their kids. I'm a widow and don't need to and haven't moved a new man in. I don't think it would benefit my kids. But if I was worrying about feeding my kids maybe I'd feel pressure to move someone in?

By the way I'm talking generally not about this case as the mum was as abusive as the dad

@PassMeThePineapple Interesting point. But I think the vast majority of women are looking for a bloke for the obvious reasons (companionship, sex) rather than to be a provider. A lot of these creeps they end up with are deadbeats/cocklodgers anyway, not hardworking blokes generously providing for someone else's kids.

In the case of abusive parents I agree, but I think @PassMeThePineapple is right.

I don't think we need more telling off or shaming on single mums, personally, there's plenty already. These child abuse cases aren't because of single parent and new partner, it's much more than that.

Plenty of people get into new relationships and second marriages. These abusive dynamics come out in specific circumstances. For example a needy and neglectful mother meets a man with a violent history. He is abusive to the child and she will not do anything about it. The partner is the catalyst but it's not like women are hypnotised by these men, they often had issues to start with that seriously escalate.

Everyone should be sensible about new partners, but it's also not fair to lump everyone in the same.

I hope they spend the rest of their life in abject fear day in day out and that bully of a man comes up against someone less vulnerable than a 15 year old boy. What an absolute coward he is and disgusting trash she is.

@rainbowdaz Good points.

I can't remember the boy's name but there was one not long ago where it was the "stepmum" who actually killed the boy, not the natural father. The one where he said "nobody loves me" :-(

So I'm not having a go at single mothers. Just saying it is NEVER worth the risk of moving an adult into your home, male, female, whatever. Even if they are not abusive, it's still disruptive for the child.

I think a teenage boy, small for his age by the looks of it, coming to the UK with little or no English to live with mom and boyfriend should have been flagged for some sort of in depth review of his circumstances. His situation had all the hallmarks of vulnerablility. Children who do not speak English can be completely isolated.

And indeed the teacher had a sense that something was amiss but nobody pursued the matter far enough.

The lack of English, the absences, the overheard accusations at the school gate, the fact this man was known not to be Sebastian's biological father, all should have rung bells. That they did not points to a failure of safeguarding.

I followed the daily reporting on this trial and my goodness it made for very upsetting reading.

He would have been in absolute agony - broken ribs with a litre of pus in his chest cavity. And she said on the stand that she never knew he was in pain! I'm so glad they saw through her DV defence and found her guilty of murder.

According to his relatives in Poland, he wanted to come to England, he was excited about it. Impression given that his father wasn't that bothered about him.
His family were in contact with him via text but now they wonder if it was Sebastian answering their messages or one of the other two. He never gave any indication to them that he was suffering abuse. They are absolutely devastated.

He would have been way too terrified to report it to anyone for fear of reprimand, so would have done a good job of covering up his feelings if the school asked for instance.

Poor boy, it's heartbreaking.

I hope they suffer the same fate as Daniel Pelka's mother and stepfather.

How could any mother allow that to happen, what the fuck is wrong with her. So sad, poor lad.

I hope they get completely fucked up in prison, although I doubt it will make anyone involved feel better.

Maybe instead of blaming the school we blame the actual evil bastards who tortured and killed that poor boy...

OFGS I did not blame the school.

I asked how come he was failed by the structures that are supposed to safeguard children.

Poor boy! Wtf is wrong with people. To abuse their own child and make their partners priority over their own flesh and blood is unfathomable to me. Only pure scum would do that😡. Among many many others, recently Arthur, and now Sebastian.

What is it with this seeming increase of these sick bastards filming the torture they’re inflicting on these innocent children?

But literally your second sentence was "where was the school in all this?"
So can you see how that implies you believe they are to blame in some way?

I too was incredibly upset by this news story. How people can be so evil is beyond me.
But it’s important to remember that very very very few people would ever contemplate behaving like this - there are millions of parents out there doing decent, or maybe just average, parenting, who would never ever behave in this way, even for a second.
the news can make it feel that this happens a lot, and it’s important to remember it is very rare. That’s not to take away how horrendous the events were, and I just want to create a time machine and go back in time and scoop that poor boy up (and Arthur, and Logan, and Star…)
as other posters have said, whatever SS do there will always be people out there who do this. Often they have had terrible childhoods themselves (that’s not an excuse by the way) often they are very low on the socioeconomic scale, often they are drug users. Cannabis and steroids in particular often come up in these stories.
SS needs more funding. The school couldn’t do anything just on a ‘hunch.’ I’m sure the teacher who suspected something will carry that with her for the rest of her life.
i’m not sure what I’m trying to say. It’s a terrible story.