No parents on school grounds for Years 4 and above

[MakeItEasier]

DD is 8, about to start Year 4 and been told today no parents in the ground sunless the child has an EHCP for years 4 and above – if there is a child in a younger year then a parent can grab the older child.

DD doesn’t have an EHCP as we’re awaiting it. I’ve spoken to the HT about the rule but she says until the EHCP is granted she can’t make an exception. I only have DD. No other DCs and I don’t have any family with DC at the school either.

My DD is suspected dyslexic and dyspraxic/DCD, she also has severe hypermobility. She falls over thin air, and is very unbalanced. She still holds my hand walking to and from school. She also has processing and memory issues, she’s prone to forgetting things 2 seconds after she’s told it, and school hand all letters directly to me as DD has a habit of putting them down and forgetting where they are.

Years 2 and 3 are left on the playground but go to their classrooms round the corner alone, so she is used to leaving me and going in herself.

I’m more worried about pickup, I won’t be able to wait right outside the gates as the path is really thin and it already creates a bottle neck as there’s a Nursery opposite and parents wait for their preschoolers on that part as well.

I’m going to have to wait at the end of the road the schools, there’s a little park there, and it’s about 200m from the gate. We then live a half mile further away (0.7m total from school gates).

So any tips on preparing DD for this?

I would practice the walk from the school gate to where you are meeting her over the summer.

I would also talk to the senco about what measures are put into place to keep your dd safe, this could mean an adult walking with her to the gate.

How does she manage during the school day?

Will they not be wanting to hand them to a parent at the gates? I can't imagine they'll let an 8 year old wander out of school on their own. We were only able to grant permission for them to walk out of the gate on their own in year 5.

I'm surprised they let them out the gates alone. Ours don't let them out alone at the end of the day until Y5.

@MrsOwainGlyndŵr What do you mean? If you mean with her memory, she has a lot of repetition, lots of reminders, and they never give her special jobs like school council or recycling monitor.

They've said no parents on school grounds for Years 4 and above, it's been the rule since covid, it used to be Year 6 only.

It's a quiet residential road, with just the school, Nursery and a few houses. It's a dead end technically but there's a cut through to the canal towpath.

Several parents have raised concerns especially with the bottle neck due to the nursery being directly opposite it causes huge problems and parents say they lose sight of kids.

Even if there are nurses parents at the gates you should still try and get as close as you can.
Give her some practice at these things. She can perhaps do more than you give her credit for. For info I have 2 children with dyslexia and dyspraxia and would not have a problem with this school rule. I do t think much harm will come to her, it may even improve her self confidence.

But that doesn't mean they're going to let them walk off 200m on their own. At our school the teacher comes to the gate and hands them over to their waiting parent. If their parent isn't there they don't just say 'Oh well, bye!'.

Have you another week left of Y3 or has term finished? If you have another week then explain what'll happen next year and let her go on her own with you trailing in the morning or come and find you at the gates afterwards as practice. If not then probably best just forget about it over the summer but remind her of the change just before the new term. Does she have a friend she could go in with on the first day? I can't see how she can actually need your hand to walk though - how is she managing all day when you're not there?

@Fireyflies she struggles on certain surfaces, she's ok on grass, carpet and other softer surfaces but struggles with concrete, graval and hardwood. During the day if she needs to leave the classroom she has a TA with her, but as she doesn't have an EHCP to award that support if there's no-one available she stays in her classroom/the mobile her classrooms in which has a toilet.

This thread makes me smile and reminds me of the hysteria on another thread a few weeks back, when another poster was saying no school would ever allow this as it was a safeguarding concern. and all schools would call social services if the children were not handed directly to the parents. Anyone who suggested otherwise, that there were schools who didn't do this were essentially called liars.

Sorry, that doesn't help you op, but I agree with the others. All you can do is to practise over the summer holidays.

Also drill her that is she ever gets to the gates and you're not there that she must go back in to school and back to her classroom (or reception or wherever they'll be someone) and explain that she can't find her parent.

It's hard to tell without knowing exactly what her route would look like, but I do think Y4 is a good time to start establishing a little bit of appropriate independence. If she can make her way into class, it could be a good goal for her.

I think you need to have the same space to wait in every day. Is there a landmark you could take a photo or picture of? e.g. beside the bin, beside the park sign. If she uses visuals, you could send the picture in to be the last step on her timetable, or attach it to her coat/ blazer. One child I taught used to have a picture of her pick up place which her mum put in her coat (in the little plastic pocket for a name label).

You could also ask for her to be at the end of the line, so she could just follow the crowd along.

BUT if you really don't think it's possible for her just now, keep on asking- the end of the day is busy and stressful at times.

Does she not go out in the playground during breaks? Or for PE? Surely she walks across hard surfaces in the classroom or school hall?

I’m more worried about pickup, I won’t be able to wait right outside the gates as the path is really thin and it already creates a bottle neck as there’s a Nursery opposite and parents wait for their preschoolers on that part as well

The school will not simply release the year fours into the ether. They'll hand them over as you reach the front of the queue for the gate.

@drinkthecranberry Thats a good idea thank you, in theory she should be able to manage it as she does manage to get to her classroom most mornings without help, I'll take a walk along with her closer to September and get her to choose where I wait which might help and get photos.

Will also talk to the other parents, there's a couple of her friends whose parents have younger siblings so maybe those parents will look out for her and make sure she gets to me?

@BernadetteRostankowskiWolowitz They don't walk the Year 4s to the gate, I know that much, they release them from the classroom and they're expected to walk out the gates themselves. The letter literally says "Year 4s are expected to leave their classroom, and walk sensibly to the gates to leave school" the other younger year groups parents have to walk passed the Year 4 classrooms to get to the gates so thats why their parents can grab them as they walk passed.

If your child needs you because of their disabilities then of course the head can make an exception. It would be a reasonable adjustment which does not require an EHCP.

You have no family but does she have a best friend or two? Could you and friends Mom meet DC in the same place and the kids walk up together?
Ask school to put all letters into her reading bag directly so even if she forgets it Monday, it'll be there waiting Tuesday.
Practise like the others have said but also what to do if she gets overwhelmed - stand still, tell a passing parent, go back to school etc

@SleepingStandingUp There's a couple of parents in DDs class who have younger DC so I'll ask them to keep an eye out I think, even if it's just for the first few weeks until DD gets the hang of it.

What's to stop you sneaking in with the y3 parents?

Sounds perfectly normal. Parents dint need to be on school grounds. Pick up and drop off at school gates.

Yes that's also a good idea but I'd also speak to your daughters friends parents, surely they'll walk up with their friends anyway so it's about the kids turning the same way out of the gate to find you. I'd do this for my friends kid, and I know which kids would do it in return

Is the school not responsible for the students while they are on school grounds? They don't allow the younger children to walk wherever they want to after they walk out the door.

Could they spare the TA to walk out with your DD? Could you ask a parent with younger children?

@SleepingStandingUp thank you I'm less panicked about it now, I have a couple of solutions will chat to the class parents and see if there's a few of them planning to wait in the same place, then those children can walk together.