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Original poster

upset by letter from school

57 replies

elliejjtiny · 21/07/2022 09:17

I know it's not the school's fault and it's a generic letter sent out to everyone in ds's class but this letter has made me surprisingly emotional.

Youngest DS is going into year 4 so we got the usual letter of "your child is now old enough to walk home on their own, sign here if you give permission or tick the box to say you will carry on collecting them from school". DS is autistic. We have special permission to park in the staff car park when we pick up and drop off because he is not safe near roads, even with an adult. I normally try and ignore what other children his age can do that he can't but this one has hit me like a ton of bricks for some reason. Can't quite believe that he is so far behind his peers that they can walk home on their own and he can't walk a couple of streets from school to the car with an adult.

OP posts:
x2boys · 21/07/2022 15:36

Sirzy · 21/07/2022 09:21

Sometimes it’s the little things like that which really hit home. I think it’s a shame school didn’t think on a just not send that one home with him

It is the little things my son has severe autism and learning disabilities and has always gone to a special school, I have long since accepted the situation, but little things can trigger.

clpsmum · 21/07/2022 15:48

elliejjtiny · 21/07/2022 09:17

I know it's not the school's fault and it's a generic letter sent out to everyone in ds's class but this letter has made me surprisingly emotional.

Youngest DS is going into year 4 so we got the usual letter of "your child is now old enough to walk home on their own, sign here if you give permission or tick the box to say you will carry on collecting them from school". DS is autistic. We have special permission to park in the staff car park when we pick up and drop off because he is not safe near roads, even with an adult. I normally try and ignore what other children his age can do that he can't but this one has hit me like a ton of bricks for some reason. Can't quite believe that he is so far behind his peers that they can walk home on their own and he can't walk a couple of streets from school to the car with an adult.

He isn't behind his peers op don't worry. My youngest didn't walk home alone until he was in year six, my eldest never did and my middle (asd plus other things) never has and never will. Chin up chuck 💜

PuppyMonkey · 21/07/2022 17:04

Scepticalwotsits · 21/07/2022 12:58

You might want to go back to school and check your reading comprehension.

read the whole sentence

your child is now old enough to walk home on their own, sign here if you give permission or tick the box to say you will carry on collecting them from school".

sign here if you give permission means that they are asking for parent consent, therefor the default will be waiting for a parent or guardian to collect

Show quote history

Thank you.

I don’t agree with you even after reading the whole sentence. Sign here, tick here. Whatever. The first bit still asserts “Your child is now old enough to walk home on their own” - as some sort of absolute statement of fact.

BTW you missed a few full stops there, and therefore has got an e on the end.Grin

I won’t mention the capital letters.

You might want to go back to school and sort that.Wink

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AntlerRose · 21/07/2022 17:10

It is the little milestone that do hit hard for some reason.

NorthCountryBlues · 21/07/2022 17:44

I get it OP. I think you can sometimes be so prepared for the big things that it’s the small things that really get you.

It’s the same with bereavement - you prepare yourself to be upset about birthdays, Christmases etc and then it’s just a very ordinary event on a very ordinary day that really feels like a gut punch.

CafeCremeMerci · 22/07/2022 15:47

cottagegardenflower · 21/07/2022 10:53

Going into year 5 and never had a letter like this. It's a disgrace that they are trying to dictate your parenting. Don't know any is DSs current year walking home alone.

FGS they're not dictating anyones parenting, there merely giving parents the OPTION to allow their child to leave school by themselves if the parents wants them to.

I understand why the OP was upset, but there are some completely ridiculous reactions on this thread.

I was thrilled when our school were finally happy to let them leave without being collected at the classroom door!. It meant she could come to the car by herself, which meant I had 'waiting' options I didn't have when I had to park & leave the car. IF we'd lived walking distance to the school (and 16 miles is not!) I wouldn't have allowed her to walk home alone & she wouldn't have wanted to as there would have been too many busy roads.

school allowing it doesn't change my parenting.

Original poster
elliejjtiny · 23/07/2022 22:45

Thankyou everyone. Like people have said, I kind of brace myself for the big things that I know will be hard but it's the little things like this that come and bite you unexpectedly.

On a positive note, DS managed to sit through his brother's school concert this week. We were all seated around tables and I had a rucksack full of books, colouring stuff and fidget toys with me which were very much needed. Then during the interval we went for a walk as well. I can't remember the last time we were all able to go out as a family to watch one of the dc do something like that, normally DH and I have to take it in turns. He wasn't perfect but he didn't start running about or make loud noises like he would normally do.

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