What's the on-a-campsite-in-France version of the dressing gown of Doom?

[Gubu]

Dh needs to know. He's come down with "a dose". Dressing gown unavailable. He's currently snuffling and shuffling around our cabin yoke in his jocks. Tissues are mounting by the bed. He's considering how to ration out the covid tests we brought (were still in my bag from a work trip I took last week) and wondering where the nearest pharmacy is. I think I'll have to open some of the wine I was planning to bring home with us.* <Le sigh>

*Am posting here so I can be not a bitch supportive in real life.

Crocs of Suffering?

Hoody or creased T-shirt of doom?

Sympathies OP. Maybe you could go searching for a pharmacy for the poor lamb him and fall into a pub somewhere along the way?

Flip flops of woe?

Got same here. Dh hanging. Claims he has food poisoning or sunstroke. Fuckers got the shits cos he abused cider yesterday. Sigh.

Le sigh. Very good. I mean très bien.
😂

The Jocks of Imminent Demise?

Sleeping bag of solipsism

Definitely not the hoody of doom . The hoody is ALWAYS the hoody of invisibility . As worn in all Soaps , gritty thrillers etc.

If you have an emergency poncho in your car kit, you could pop that over him?

Would that be the poncho of protection?

Wind has picked up and no doubt he'll be getting chills in a bit so I think the creased t-shirt will be making an appearance shortly. The poncho may sweat the lurgy out of him - I might tent him in that during the night. Good suggestions. I love the word solipsism, but will admit i have to look up its meaning every time I see/think of it. I'll give it 24 hours before applying it to the current situation.

If this was self inflicted I'd be far less inclined to indulge it for a few hours, @HighlandCowbag

And he's just shuffled out in the wrinkly tshirt of misery 😆if I had a prize, I'd send it to you @CrazyBaubles

Is he wearing a dry robe of despair?

The beach towel of melancholia?

😂
OP this made me laugh (sorry).
Open the wine.

Unseasonal Scarf of Suffering ?

(People might just think he's Italian though -they scarf up at 1st hint of a draft)

As you're in France, the small Speedos of suffering?

Just open the wine!!

Le Phillipe flop of festering lurgy.

Would that be the poncho of protection?

Or The Poncho of Plague if he has something infectious.

Oodie of doom? The only answer is to hit the cheese and wine hard 🍷

robe de chambre

Properly giggled at this. 😁

Poncho of plague is good 😄

Oh, everyone is suffering from the small speedos....

Robe de chambre de malheur.

Tell him he needs to isolate, close the door on him and open the wine.

Pants of pain? Trunks of trauma?