Are women over the age of 35 made to feel ‘past it’?

[Sussex34]

Since I turned 35 I feel as though everything I see on the internet / TV is designed to make women over this age feel old. Whether it’s really subliminal in memes on instagram or the way women are described in the media, it’s like 35 is the cut off for where you’re suddenly on a downhill trajectory.

I am lucky to be surrounded by amazing older women in my life - my mum is 70 and acts and looks like she’s in her late 50s, and I just don’t agree with this notion! I still feel really young in myself, but social media has made me start obsessing over time passing really quickly and getting older. Does anyone else feel the same? Is the only option to delete social media?!

No you are not . With age comes wisdom . It's your money you do what you want to do

Not this many adverts though! And not so much of the 'them'. That's pretty much the very thing I was trying to point out. The advertisers assume that everyone over a certain age will only be interested in certain products - which is the whole point of the thread really.

Designed for the 'older adult' indeed - how very dare you?!😂

Thanks so much for your replies - it’s really given me the opportunity to reflect. I’ve absolutely loved the messages from people saying they’ve never felt better at their age, it’s such a great thing to hear. I’m definitely going to review not only my time on social media but how much I allow this to dictate my worth.

OP but you are judging too! Your Mum is amazing because she is 70 but acts and looks like she is 50. You have set the bar in a different place but you are still implying that there is something wrong with being 70.

I don't feel I've been "made to feel" past it by anyone, but I do simply feel I'm in a different phase of life. I'm coming into my own as an adult; I feel more powerful and confident. I look fine for my age but I'm not 18 and I don't want to look like an aged teenager in the same clothes I wore back then, or what teenagers are wearing now.

I disagree but I don't spend any time on TicTock or Insta, it's for younger people and so it's going to feel very different
Tic tok and insta are not just for young people. It's about finding your interests and the algorithm works out what you like.
My insta and tic tok is full of weight training and fitness advice cycling, bands I follow, cooking, fashion and swimming.

Also at 50 you get all the menopause relief adverts, now I'm in my 60's they have stopped so yeh it's all about the joy of paying for my funeral now.

I'm 35 and don't feel past it. I do find it hard to get clothes for my age though. Especially for work. Either too young or for a 50 yr old. Very little in between!

@godmum56 Totally right - thanks for calling out! Absolutely nothing wrong with being 70 / 80 or even 98 like my grandmother.

I think a lot of people are answering on whether they feel past it rather than what message they see from media.

I’d say definitely that there’s a message in a lot of media that women over a certain age are past it. I just watched a trailer from the new Brad Pitt film. At the end of the trailer the first older woman you see on screen tells Brad Pitt to be quiet and then he says ‘shut up Karen’ or something like that. The message is definitely there but it’s how you respond that’s important. I just try to avoid ageism though it is hard to.

I'm even more glad I don't have a telly in that case, as I'm 50.

OP, I spend my time looking fabulous, shagging my DP, and doing whatever I like. I have money. My DC have left school so I have more money than I have ever had in my whole adult life (they were at independent schools, and the fees have been a bloody nightmare). I can do whatever I want, with whoever I want. And I can shag DP to kingdom come without worrying about contraception, and I won't get pregnant. I felt more 'past it' when I was a mother of 3 DC under 5 at the age of 32.

@PermanentlyTired03 I couldn’t agree more, I went out on Friday night and genuinely didn’t feel ‘trendy’ in a single thing I own. I think that’s largely due to the fashion at the moment being full of crop tops and the likes though.

I will say, again, that it probably helps that I don't have a TV and don't do social media (too busy having a life to look at what people are doing online). I don't watch films, as I'm not interested in them. So I haven't got a clue what some random person on Instagram is doing. I don't even have a phone as it would be a PITA if people could constantly contact me when I'm doing something more interesting.

But do you want to look like a 21-year-old forever? I think that would be both weird and depressing.

No, but over 50? Yes.

Seriously!!! I'm 37 and to me 35 is still young. I don't think you have anything to worry about for a couple of decades yet.

I looked amazing at 35. I think a lot of people if they look after themselves only age after 40.

i’m 47 and still feel attractive.

Interesting points.

I’m not a big SM user but fwiw I’m finding the opposite. Penny, Liz and Kemi in the leadership race. Presenters aged 35+ are everywhere- breakfast tv, BBC news, Strictly, CNBC. Actors like Nicola Walker, Sienna Miller, Gillian Anderson being complimented for their acting and for their characters’ wardrobes also. Lyse Doucet bossing it in Kyiv at the start of the war. 1990s supermodels still in demand. Sue Barker being asked not to retire. Kate Bush and Wynona Ryder benefiting from Stranger Things, deservedly so.

Other than the athletes at the World Champs/footballers who are younger by necessity, I’m actually not seeing that much about twentysomethings. Maybe the young stars of Sex Education (all plaudits richly deserved btw) and Stranger Things of course.

@Sussex34 those kinds of clothes are what my DDs wear on a Friday night! I have no desire at all to wear the stuff they wear and go to the places they go. One tried to bribe me the other day to set foot in her favourite nightclub, to no avail. Which doesn't mean I don't want to go out and do stuff - I just don't want to do stuff that my DC and their friends are doing. I want to get dressed up and drink Champagne in smart restaurants, accompanied by my gorgeous and well dressed DP. I don't want to be in a sticky club wearing a crop top. We just move on - but that's nothing to do with being 'past it'. I know I sound like a knit-your-own-lentils type, but having no TV and no social media really is a blessing as it enables you to be yourself without reference to any online shit.

Irritates me as it implies that being a bit leaky is inevitable. It isn't! Women don't need to accept pissing themselves in a giggly 'oops' way. Treatments are available.

I'm late 30s and I feel past it, I wouldn't admit it, but I do.

When I'm at work I feel old. When I interview everyone seems younger, and more knowledgeable.

I read books and the heroines are in their 20s max.

In the shops most people are younger, thinner, more attractive. I look back at the old me with sadness, for not realising now fleeting is the sense of confidence and power that come with being in your 20s.

And yet, I know when I'm 40+ and look back and think 'how daft you were'.

I definitely feel ignored more in the workplace by both men and women. Not by everyone but the balance has swung against me for sure. I am 50.

I am touching 50. Get eyed up all the time, started work in my most senior role to date and run an international strategy unit and still have the ability to play decent sport with my dc. I find the Insta memes about 'ohh 30 can't get out of bed now coz my knees are so creaky' so ridiculous but put that down to the youth thinking they own everything. Me, no fucks to give, and i am having the best time of my life!

It depends on the industry you work in, some are more of a young persons game. I'm definitely not the youngest person in the office anymore (37) but it doesn't bother me. I still feel attractive and noticed even when with gorgeous 20 somethings, perhaps in a different way though. Ageing isn't something you can control but you can take care of yourself as eBay ton can, diet suncream etc.

As best as you can! Autocorrect!