Space for a squeezed middle moan

[RollingInTheCreek]

I appreciate and completely understand that others have it far far worse (many on UC, NMW or 0 hour contracts, some renters, those with disabilities or carers) but can we have a thread for the ‘squeezed middle’ to have a moan.
Remortgaging and that’s going up. Gas and electricity gone up and due to to up more. Food going up, just had an email that after school club has gone from £8.50 to £10 a day (!!!) from September.
We’ve cut back on so many things already and it feels relentless. Next to go it the kids activities (swimming and ballet) and I feel so sad at the thought that we can’t even afford that. DH and I both have decent jobs and both work (him FT me 0.8 WTE). How can we not afford a weekly activity for our child despite no holidays, no private school fees, no extravagance?
I feel a lot of guilt as I had a lovely upbringing. My parents had similar jobs and equivalent income but we had ski holidays, summer holidays abroad, treats, any activities we wanted. We were so lucky (didn’t appreciate it at the time of course!) and I feel a huge sense of guilt that I can’t provide the same for my children.
again- I know others have it worse. It’s just crap and I can’t see it getting loads better.

It's tough that you have to do away with the activities for your children and I understand your sense of parental guilt about it, but they can still have a lovely childhood without them. You just need to think laterally a bit and let them learn how to be bored, which will stimulate their creativity.

The impact on bills etc is very worrying but you're doing the right things in economising and worrying about what-ifs won't help you right now.

Thanks @007DoubleOSeven 💕

Totally reasonable to want a moan. Its rubbish how rapidly bills are rising

I’m a middle too.

Apparently the only people not affected are the very wealthy. It’s shit. I’ve stopped spending money on anything not essential. It’s quite miserable.

And the muppet show of prospective leaders don’t even fucking mention it!

Thank you for starting this thread
We have come off UC since new year but one DC will change schools so we will start paying for him.
Dreading the winter and the bills for bear
We are lucky - we have been offered to stay with friends in a U.K. holiday spot, but just been looking at the "attractions" - can't afford any of them , so it will just be a week of driving past signs to things we aren't going to

Absolutely. I read in the paper that the income bracket worst hit in some senses are the mid 30ks - too much to get UC, free school meals, the one off payments, free prescriptions etc but not really enough to live anything like comfortably with those things, as a PP said, like kids activities or music lessons. Commitments like mortgages or rent are probably already a bit of a stretch and there's no headroom to absorb the extra costs. No I'm not choosing between heating and eating (though come October I might be) but it does feel relentless and I am having to say no to my kids significantly more often than before.

The price rises are insane at the moment!
Just out of interest (and not a criticism) did you over extend yourself house wise or new cars etc? I do wonder if the lenders have been irresponsible but then I guess they couldn’t have predicted this.
Hope things get easier Op, for everyone!

I have a double whammy this autumn of dds tax credits £300 stopping as she turns 18, and fuel bills going up prob by £100 😪.

Having to take a second job just to keep our heads above the water.

We are in the same position as you, earning a good amount between us and becoming increasing worried about money.

I am really having to think about spending on anything that is non- essential, and while I completely understand people are much worse off it just feels utterly shit that we both work hard and have worked hard to build careers and we are now completely squeezed.

We used to be the squeezed middle but I’m not working now due to health problems so we are a bit more squeezed but are fortunate to be mortgage free, so less squeezed than many. Check if your swimming pool/leisure centre does “happy hours” or similar. Ours does twice a week hours for 50p per person. They are slightly odd times ie not when I’d normally choose to go but we’ve made use of those and it’s been really good. It’s lovely to have fancy holidays and lots of activities but your children will still have a happy childhood without and things will get better again.

sorry to all who are experiencing similar- it’s crap

Is there anything you could cut or reduce like meal deal lunches at work, Netflix, any subscriptions etc? Eg my phone bill is £10 per month unlimited. You could also ask the ballet school if there are any bursaries available.

Squeezed middle here and it is shit.

Despite having our house value increase by £80k our fixed mortgage is ending and the best rate we can secure is £300pcm more than our previous rate!

Nursery costs have gone up.

Food, heating and fuel too just like everyone else.

Yet no support available to us. Not even child benefit.

Many would look at us and say it's because we don't need it but we will be living hand to mouth at best for the next few years and it's absolute crap!

This is an interesting thread. I do worry that my DC will feel like you OP in
five/ten years when/if they have their own families. For them it was normal to have multiple holidays a year and all the activities they wanted to do as they grew up.

@Celeryfavour we have cut down on things like lunches out, I get Netflix free with my broadband etc.
The bursery thing I appreciate the idea but we don’t qualify for any help. DH earns just over the 50k threshold for child benefit so we even have to pay back despite me earning well below that. We don’t qualify for any kind of help or support.

Roughly how old are you and your DH OP?

@BoJoGoGo DH 33 I’m 30

Out of curiosity what income is considered squeezed middle? 30k each or for whole household?

@Janedoe82 im not sure- DH and I have a combined income of £79k pre tax. Sounds a decent amount but after mortgage and childcare for 2 (age 2 and 5) it soon goes!

I would say that is at the upper end of squeezed middle. Childcare is the issue.

£79k is not the middle, it is well above middle. Average family income is well below £50k. House prices in SE or other high cost areas have an impact. We've been properly skint before, all I can say is if you focus on what you can do your kids need not be unhappy - mine were not. Rising costs are undoubtedly a big worry for many. We are all dropping down a bit, it's not going to be a good couple of years.

They can still have a lovely upbringing without those things, and it might not be forever. On a practical note I'd say check out family swim sessions etc, DS stopped lessons but still goes swimming twice a week- we pay a fiver a month at the council pool and he can go whenever. Depending on the ballet school many offer reduced fees etc, ours does.

I feel your pain, generally been savvy with finances, very low LTV mortgage, remortgaged last Dec luckily for 5 years, cars no longer on finance.

I live in an area of widely different incomes and I find the pressure to 'keep up' really hard to negotiate with 2 KS1 aged children.

Husband and I are on good salaries, I am 0.8 so could increase but it suits us not to. I m going without personally to cover the extra curricular stuff - but for how long we can do that is up in the air. About to spend my summer selling all I can to see if that can help!

I grew up with absolutely nothing, I feel like my husband and I did the “right things” to get to where we are with degrees and post-grads and safe jobs and stopping at 2 kids and buying a house young, and having savings and not going on big holidays and always buying budget cars…
we were in such a good place financially a few years ago and starting to plan a new car and a holiday abroad…!
Now both approaching 40 and arguing about whether I can afford to get a £12 academic diary and how to pay for school uniform for September, worrying about stopping my daughter’s ballet lessons because even the petrol to drive her there is too expensive…
this is some bullshit.
what even is the point anymore?!

@MooPointCowsOpinion it’s not fair is it :(