Space for a squeezed middle moan

[RollingInTheCreek]

I appreciate and completely understand that others have it far far worse (many on UC, NMW or 0 hour contracts, some renters, those with disabilities or carers) but can we have a thread for the ‘squeezed middle’ to have a moan.
Remortgaging and that’s going up. Gas and electricity gone up and due to to up more. Food going up, just had an email that after school club has gone from £8.50 to £10 a day (!!!) from September.
We’ve cut back on so many things already and it feels relentless. Next to go it the kids activities (swimming and ballet) and I feel so sad at the thought that we can’t even afford that. DH and I both have decent jobs and both work (him FT me 0.8 WTE). How can we not afford a weekly activity for our child despite no holidays, no private school fees, no extravagance?
I feel a lot of guilt as I had a lovely upbringing. My parents had similar jobs and equivalent income but we had ski holidays, summer holidays abroad, treats, any activities we wanted. We were so lucky (didn’t appreciate it at the time of course!) and I feel a huge sense of guilt that I can’t provide the same for my children.
again- I know others have it worse. It’s just crap and I can’t see it getting loads better.

This is so disheartening.
I know someone will be along to berate you, ‘some people can’t even afford food’ but that’s not the point is it? Shouldn’t be a race to the bottom.

feels like you wasted your youth, studying and saving for nothing. The ‘enjoy life’ still isn’t here. It’s demotivating

Do you have the option of working full time?

Same, we don't qualify for any help and with everything going up I feel so stressed and suffocated by it. As other posters have said, it's impacting on the kids so much now and I'm always having to say no to them when they ask for things. Also struggling to scrape together enough to give my eldest a nice birthday next month.

DH earns just over £30k and I am juggling part time self employment, studies and being at home with the youngest. It's fucking depressing how little money we have despite running ourselves ragged every day.

@BoJoGoGo I have asked my employer- it’s a no at the moment but they will let me know if more hours become available.
I don’t want to leave as they are a good employer, very flexible with good work benefits

Maybe they’ll let you have the extra day in
a year or two but obviously that doesn’t help you now.

How do I know if I am in the squeezed middle? Is there an annual income bracket that would put us here?

Joint annual income around £50k

Sounds like a lot but it isn't, we certainly do not feel like we are rolling in it.

Food fuel and energy costs are all going up.

If your DH earns just over the £50k salary are you sure you have to pay the CB back op? You deduct pension contributions from your salary before the clawback is calculated.

I earned about £56k before I had to pay anything back as my pension contributions were quite high.

Rising housing costs is one of the main reasons people on above average wages are struggling.

The stamp duty holiday kept the property market moving at lightning speed and house prices rising.

Lots of people stretched themselves, not knowing interest rates were going to rise.

They bought bigger houses not knowing energy costs were going to triple.

It is the perfect storm and I am scared at the number of families who are in this position with no safety net.

Same here. Both public sector workers so there's no hope of a pay increase that will make any kind of difference.

The only thing that keeps us in the black is a relatively low mortgage. Fortunately we decided not to move despite the house being too small for all of us now. I feel incredibly lucky as my friend who is renting has suddenly just been told it's increasing by £200 a month which they won't be able to afford.

It's really tough times and agree with a pp it's barely being mentioned by the leadership contenders 🙄

Double check on your child benefit entitlement. For years I thought it was £50k gross so we stopped claiming but then I read on Martin Lewis it was net. We reapplied and got loads of back pay.

Squeezedmiddlemoan
you don’t sound squeezed to me.

I am not squeezed middle but can I just add a word of hope to you all.

DH& I are now in our 60s and comfortable now there is just 2 of us to look after, but around the early 90s we struggled terribly, the house was in negative equity and we had to count every penny for years. We and the DCs went without a lot but they have all grown into lovely and successful adults who do remember not having some things but their memories are largely very happy and positive.
They were hard times for many of us as these are for you younger ones but keep going, hang in there and it will get better

If you were living a fairly well off life a few years ago but now are struggling to afford the lifestyle you used to have, are having to cancel everything but the necessities then that is the definition of squeezed middle…

Oh right thanks, so most people then except for really high earners.

I feel for the people that work full time on minimum wage not sure how they are supposed to survive. Appreciate this isn't the space for that but it does make you think.

We are still having one take away per week and that feels a bit frivolous now.

OP I think you’ll feel much better off once the kids are older, the primary years and wrap around care seems to go on forever!
My kids are 12&14, they know all about the interest rates/fuel increases/food prices increases etc. When I was a child my parents said “no” all the time and I used to be so upset, I couldn’t see the logic.
I think I’m also squeezed but not sure if middle due to the debates here. Currently getting away with downgrading things to offset prices.

It’s very generous of you to help your family so much. That’s probably the cause of your situation, not your earnings particularly. You’re not squeezed middle…

We're in the middle too. Luckily husband has just had a promotion so the extra income from that is covering some of the rises, but we're struggling. We had to drop all paid activities at the beginning of the year and even then we're struggling. Our eldest is ND and goes through clothes like crazy, I try to buy second hand but it'd be nice to be able to afford a multipack of trousers and tops in asda occasionally! We're relocating to a cheaper area and nearer family. Lower mortgage, won't need as much childcare as grandmothers are desperate to have the kids more and activities are more than half the price so we can actually afford a couple again (Forest school here, £10 per child, there it's £4.50 per child, it's insane).

@NumericalBlock we feel the same- any savings elsewhere or small salary increase just immedielty gets eaten up with essentials. Every time we feel we can breathe something else goes up!

I understand your frustration. Like you, I have done things the 'right' way, spent years training, worked my arse off to climb the career ladder, left it too late to have kids naturally etc. But I know that I'm lucky to be thinking about stopping ballet lessons, not starving myself so my children can eat over the holidays. We need a better government, not one that only cares about the richest people.