Social Workers can be monsters..

[Glbx22]

Not sure if I'm on the right section or anything..new to mumsnet..

Basically currently going through a custody battle with my ex over our 4 year old. Currently working through a section 7 report which is being done by social services.

Our social worker is an absolute c* to me. He's been out to get me and gunning for me since day one. I was the one who was abused by my ex-partner and also his new partner. It was me who applied for court. My ex is obviously denying this and turning it and saying I am the one who is abusive the social worker has now decided it is me who is abusive. My ex is also causing trouble and saying that I am abusive to my husband. This social worker had my husband in for interrogation yesterday and reduced him to tears because he was putting pressure on him and asking if I've ever done this or that and continuously kept saying I am abusive to him. The social worker has also said that I am harming my child and putting him at risk. He is biased, prejudice and I believe sexist. He has already chosen not to listen to me or believe anything I am saying. There is evidence of police records about my ex and his partner, and other reports I had made however the social worker is just choosing to go on rubbish he's being told and gossip and hear say.

I have complained about him to his manager on more than one occasion and said I won't work with him and I need a different worker to do this report because I definitely do not stand a fair chance otherwise. I don't think she will do much so I also made an official complaint to the council. I have involved my solicitor now too. I also told my Women's Aid support worker and she tried talking to the social worker and he just wouldn't listen to her.

Has anyone else experienced really bad treatment from social workers? Please share so I know I am not on my own here. I think he's disgusting and this is at the worst possible time too.

Thank you x

No he disclosed information about his dad and dad's partner, hence why CAFCASS stopped the contact there have been no concerns about me or his stepdad

SS should focus on the children that are actually at risk rather than the ones they think are

But what if your child had disclosed something about you but the social worker felt it would not be in the child's best interests to tell you. Can you see that they have to consider all the evidence and that you may not have all that?

I've only had the experience of dealing with one social worker and frankly she was absolutely awful.

I'm sure there are some very good social workers but I'm afraid my experience has meant I have absolutely no faith in the system or the people working in it at all.

Is there any option to request a different social worker at all OP?

They can be awful I had a social worker actually write in her report that, there was one occasion where mum was in the kitchen dad was in the hallway (two rooms away) and struck the child loud enough for mum to hear and intervene in conclusion they stated I "allowed" my ex to strike my child and leave a mark and that was not in line with their policy therefore there was a risk I would allow that to happen again (we had split up) they were VERY pro dad (the one who ACTUALLY hit him) this was one of the many things said to discredit me plus stupid things like I drove past there was "a car" outside her house (on the road I have no driveway) after wittering for ten minutes at a meeting about "a red car" being outside my house I pointed out that it was my neighbours daughters car the person running the meeting snapped "on your DRIVEWAY?" like it was some kind of "gotcha" moment I said sir I have no driveway its a road no reserved parking anyone can park there the health visitor agreed I had no private parking social worker said she was "unsure" if I had private parking or not he then turned on her and asked WHY she didn't know as she was supposed to be doing statutory visits for months (she didn't do them)

It was a fucking farce I was blamed for everything he did even when I was in hospital and had no knowledge of what happened

@Glbx22 my advice would be to get this post shut down. There’s several naive individuals who have already commented on how you should work with the SW.
its important to remember that not all SWs are bad but, I’ve had involvement for almost 20 years, initially due to a child with complex additional needs, including self harm and suicide attempts and exceptionally violent and challenging behaviour when younger. In more recent times it was sadly due to DV.
msny years ago when my oldest was younger he was really challenging. Had been excluded from schools multiple times yet nobody wanted to take accountability for funding and despite having a statement (known now as an EHCP) trying to identify a SEN provision which all parties would fund was a nightmare. On one occasion my son was noted to have a bruise on his thigh by a SW at a routine meeting (it was summer he was wearing shorts). Next thing both my children were removed from my care and the police wanted to question me. At NO point did the SW ask my son OR his then education placement about the ‘injury’. He was seen by a doctor and it was documented as a Non accidental injury. Due to this the police wanted to arrest me, but, luckily for me the officer in charge of the case had some common sense. I explained to him that my child had been forcibly restrained at school (due to his behaviour, and that this was his fourth primary provision and even they couldn’t manage him) and that must have been how he sustained the injury. It was the police who spoke to the school who confirmed AND could prove they were responsible for his bruise (the restraint triggered a report). Had it not been due the common sense of this officer I would have been arrested. As a nurse I would have potentially lost my career. All because some power hungry liar wanted to make my life hell. I’ve a whole list of fuck ups made by SS including facilitating a breech of the non molestation order by my ex during child contact. Turning up to take my son to contact with his dad and disappearing with my child for a 30 minute window in a taxi. No not all SWs are bad, I had one who was incredible and wrote a fantastic section 7 report. But, I’ve had bad ones.
It’s like in any profession you’ll have good teachers/nurses/bus drivers and awful ones.
there are some incredibly naive comments on here from individuals who will never comprehend DV and how/why it happens. I don’t know your back story but I just know I almost lost everything thanks to them.
My advice to you is only engage via email (E for evidence). Do not engage in telephone conversations with them. Do you have an IDVA or did you? Mine was amazing and really able to support especially during the court process. With regards to communication with your ex partner (assuming there is no non mol in place) ensure it can be evidenced so email/text/WhatsApp. Not phone calls.
I was ‘lucky’ I had a decent SW for my section 7, but, it should not be down to luck. Sadly SS like the NHS is hugely underfunded, it’s a thankless job with burnt out over worked and underpaid people fighting fire with fire.
the fact that CAFCAS have advised against contact speaks volumes so don’t let go of that. Good luck.

Thank you for this. I completley agree with you. I've got a terrible feeling they are going to make the wrong decisions and that the whole system is just so messed up!!
That is what I am trying to do right now. I am laying it on thick and saying that I don't think I am being given a fair chance at all with the one I've got and I need someone else. This is huge and I'm not having my chances ruined by this social worker. She said at first she can't change it because it will delay the report and court process however someone else can be there. I am just going to try even more now x

I'm sorry to hear this! If you don't mind me asking.. how did things turn out in the end for you? I am being blamed for everything right now too! Everything is being turned into me it's disgusting. They do pick at everything don't they! It's just unbelievable. X

I have as a child but she ended up my stepmother 🤷‍♀️

I'm a family solicitor and I've seen exactly this several times (also with Cafcass officers). I'm afraid the only way to deal with this is to get a decent barrister to cross examine the social worker in a final hearing about their report and thereby hopefully expose their prejudice, bias and the lack of critical thinking and analysis within the report. The judge doesn't necessarily go with the report for this reason, you are entitled to challenge it.
Also, hopefully your ex will come across badly in giving their evidence, and you will come across well in theirs.
My best friend is a senior social worker, but I have come across some terrible ones. In my view they should have legal training as well as they don't all seem capable of analytical and objective thinking.
Good luck with it.

Hey. Im so sorry to hear what you've been through! That is really scary to hear! Shocking at how they just acted on it and did all of that. I thought they were always meant to ask you about it first before they just go behind your back and jump to conclusions! That is so bad and disgusting! If you don't mind me asking . How did things turn out for you in the end? I am glad your section 7 report was good, but you are absolutely right - it shouldn't be luck it should just be a case of having a decent social worker who will look into things properly. They do get things so wrong it's so messed up! They cause even more damage sometimes. I am so scared about my section 7 report. My social worker is saying so many bad things about me .how do I stand a fair chance in this report?? I am trying my hardest to have him changed by talking to his manager I have a Women's Aid Support Worker and she tried talking to him but he wasn't listening to her andjust kept arguing with her. I also have a solicitor who I am hoping can do something to help me. I agree that there are a lot of posts saying I have to work with them??, how can I work with my social worker who is so agressive, unfair, biased and prejudice towards me. I also very much believe he is sexist towards me too. Some of them make it impossible for you to work with them x

Hi thank you for this information. I have contacted my solicitor but I was unsure if she could do anything at this point. Would she only really be able to help when the report is released then? She did say that if there are a lot of things that are wrong then we can do something. I know it goes to a hearing and we can contest it and then it goes to a final hearing? I assumed that whatever the social worker recommends that the judge will just go with it? Thank you

Oh really ??

I have met some wonderful social workers but two of the most twisted people I've ever known are social workers.

I think that social workers should have to have multiple hours of therapy in the course of their training.

Honestly I tried to get a new social worker and complained about the one I had they refused and it made things worse she went for removal of my children got the process started I got a solicitor he chased her for paperwork over and over again then suddenly it was all dropped no more involvement because as my solicitor said they actually need evidence of wrongdoing at this point and they just don't have it blithering on about how she believes I wasn't cooperating while simultaneously ignoring my calls and not performing her statutory visits was ridiculous plus when she went on holiday they sent out a different one who whizzed around my (clean and mostly tidy) home had a quick chat to the kids and then let us get on out way (we were on our way to the zoo) went in our favor the reports were night and day

Yes I know! I think they have to go by certain things when they do their job but they are also definitely lacking in a lot of areas i feel that mine is sexist because he didn't really care when I talked to him about my experiences in a domestic abusive relationship but he was really passionate about it when he accused me of being abusive to my ex and my husband!

Hi this is what I was worried about. I was worried that he or they would twist it and accuse me of not being cooperative and working them even though I've complained and explained my reasons and said I'd still be willing to work with someone else. I have had to contact court to explain the situation just incase he lies to the court saying I refused to work with them. So did your solicitor actually help you during your difficulty with the social worker? I have contacted mine about it but it wasn't sure if they'd do much until when the report was released were they thinking of taking your kids just because they thought you wernt co-operating?? That's shocking and scary. Glad they backed off in the end x

What are the indicators that he doesn’t believe what you’re telling him?

The difficulty here is that you’re alleging that your ex was abusive towards you, but you didn’t leave and as a result the children were subjected to more abuse as a result of their parents staying together. Has he actually said he believes your ex and not you?

Because he is instead accusing me of all the things that have actually happened to me and everything is getting turned and twisted completley

You said you have voice of your child report? Unless it's different where your from they wouldn't use a report from my children because they were too young, and one was 4 at the time and then my eldest who was still too young they wouldn't use one from him either, although when we went to trial I won the case without the little ones reports anyways.

Your child IS at risk! They have 2 parents who are battling over them. They have witnessed DV. They have been stooped from seeing their father. That combined will have a massive impact on their mental well-being.

Do you have unquestionable evidence from an independent witness? Does he?

Women don't leave abusive relationships straight away. That's a fact I know this and I'm very knowledgeable on domestic abuse now more than I was back then. It isn't black and white. It's more complex women don't leave straight away for various reasons. Some social worker shouldn't be coming in and judging and criticising that they should have more knowledge to know that it isn't always that easy for women to leave straight away.. as I said .my Women's Aid support worker tried talking to him and telling him he can't say things like that and he just wouldn't listen and insisted on continuing to argue. The fact that everything is being turned round on mee and I am the one now is being accused of everything speaks volumes to me

I've done everything I've done to protect him, not put him at more risk. I stopped the contact (along witb CAFCASS recommendations) as he was being exposed to all the conflict and abuse at dad's house