Please help me move on from an obsession

[Needtomoveonwithlife]

For the last few weeks I have become obsessed with a minor celebrity. He is probably not a household name but is very well known in the specific genre. I met him at an event recently and it was brilliant. DH knew I was going but wasn't happy about it.

I have spent far too much time online and in my head pursuing this obsession rather than reality. DH is thoroughly fed up. He knows I am into the scene around this person but not about the obsession around him. I'm very attracted to him and have flirted with him a lot online. I'm not proud of it. I do have an obsessive personality and am very impulsive. I have never cheated on DH.

I need to make a clean break and get him out of my head. I'm leaving the online groups. I feel so guilty. I love my DH and my family and they deserve my attention. Please be kind.

If he’s been married for over thirty years, and been flirting with you and paying you a lot of attention, sounds like a sleaze to me. If he wasn’t a celebrity, would you be attracted to a married man.

Well done on de-registering from everything.

The problem is when other people in groups find it amusing and egg you on, as an individual with limited impulse control suffering from boredom and apathy it was too tempting to get a dopamine hit from flirting and showing off. Not cool. I'd be gutted if DH did that to me.

Hmm he always made a thing of telling me off for flirting, you are so naughty etc calling me Mrs x etc, I think he did like the attention but how long can you throw yourself at someone before starting to hate yourself?

Answer- 13 weeks.

Oh this is easy. Imagine everyone finding out and laughing at you, being rejected by him and your husband dumping you. Go into graphic detail of the humiliation and horror you feel. Realise it was never real.

I guarantee you you will snap out of it pretty quickly.

I am normally all fun and laughter but occasionally I get bouts of self pity and have to call myself sad to snap out of it. It works like magic. You will be so pathetically grateful that your husband hasn’t dumped you and that your friends still like you that you will try three times harder and savour the good times so much more!

Already at that stage @Theoneinthemiddle what a twat I have been. Thank god I've nipped it in the bud.

Nope not telling!

Glad to see today went better and you felt free. Good job on breaking the cycle!

I have a huge crush on a movie star, but no way I'd even think about contacting him. I love looking at him and watching him in stuff, he's kind of part of my life as crazy as that sounds. But there is a line. Dh is absolutely fine about it, teases me, and he reaps the benefits of it if you know what I mean. But honestly here, if he turned up on my doorstep I'd not cheat on my lovely dh.
I feel for you op! I hope you can squash this!

You can guess if you like.

Something similar happened to me a while back. In the end what got me past it was realising that he was just a handsome bloke in a pub. I wouldn't even dream of cheating on DH for a "normal" handsome bloke in a pub so what the FUCK was I thinking? The fame thing is weirdly alluring but the man is just a man and probably not worth the bother.

It's Mr Tumble isn't it? 😉

No and no 🤣

Haha I was going to guess Mr tumble! I have a bit of a thing for him 😏

Not an instrument as such. But produces music

You said you had met him IRL. Was that because you went to a specific event knowing he would be there or do you live near him/move in the same circles?

If you met him at a specific event, do not allow yourself to attend another. I know that’s easier said than done. If you do live near him, and might bump into him, it would be a lot harder for you to avoid him.

Mr Blobby?

It’s Gary Barlow I think

Is he a DJ?

Doktor Haze 🤣

@Needtomoveonwithlife it’s not Tim Westwood is it?