Are you my fabric tape measure? If so, where are you?

[monsterastuckiosa]

Where are you hiding? What did I do with you?

You're not in the usual kitchen junk drawer. I live alone.

Clues? Suggestions?

In the general junk basket on top of the microwave, together with two rolls of waste paper basket liners, the cat brush and four replacement filters for the Brita.

If it helps mine is currently down the back of the bookcase in the lounge until I can be arsed to move the damn thing

DSIL and DBIL had a spaniel. Most things that they lost had been devoured. Once it ate a shoe lace that dangled out of the spaniel's arse as it passed. The OP may not want to continue using the tape measure if it has befallen the same fate.

Do you have a teenage boy?

If so, down the side of his bed (from knob measuring)

Don't ask me how I've guessed this as it happened over a decade ago and I still need brain bleach

Dressing gown pocket? I absent mindedly stuff many odds and bobs in there pootling around the house in the morning

😂😂😂😂

Inside the sewing machine cover?

Inside a pot of odds and ends
Hope you find it!

Under ds2's bed. He's already pulled the ends off and stretched you out of shape. Sorry.

I'm lonely. Please buy me some friends so we can all tease you by hiding in different places. Sometimes you will find us all in the same place and wonder how you managed to buy 6. Helps if we are all different colours or you will just think your tape measure teleports round the house.

With the last unfinished knitting project?

In the inside pocket of your favorite spring vest or jacket.

But mine is probably in the closet, behind the towels.

Sorry. Stretched me out of shape. I'm traumatised and dissociative as a result of my ordeal.

Inside a bag containing the craft project you got pissed off with and donated to a cloth bank.

I am your fabric tape measure and your DH/DP is using me to measure furniture and other miscellaneous stuff and empty fecking spaces for no apparent reason because he's lost his metal one AGAIN. You will probably find me in the tool box where his own tape should be.

Kitchen junk drawer
Bedside table
Hall table key plate
Next to the stapler/hole punch in the stationery cupboard
With your nifty hammer that people borrow and never bring back
Inside the folded carrier bag from your last shopping trip (look in the bag of bags).

Tape measures are a bit like cheap reading glasses. You find some, you lose some.

In the back pocket of whichever trousers you were wearing last time you used it.

Or if you have small children it is currently being used as a lead for a stuffed animals.

I am in that old handbag/purse/coat pocket. You remember, you put me there when you were on your way to ikea/Debenhams/town/friends in case you wanted to get measurements for a window/fabric/sofa/curtains.

Yes! I’m in the pocket of your skirt; it’s not my fault your house is a mess

It's on the shelf of my coffee table - I'm looking at it right now.

In your apron you dingbat. I've been here weeks.

Genuinely LOL
I would have thought they preferred a metal one 😂😂😂😂

Stolen by your children who have been beautifully inspired by your creativity, but are thieving tie rags.

@scissorsandsellotape metal = cold = shrinkage.

In the second drawer down of your granny's dresser in the hallway