Wedding readings that aren't shit

[NoEffingWay]

In a nutshell. I don't want Corinthians or a Shakespearian sonnet, nor something from the 'Owl and the Pussycat'. I would like something meaningful, modern-ish and short!

Any ideas, please feel free. Cheers 🍻

@StrychnineInTheSandwiches feel like that one would definitely wake up any snoozing guests 🤣

I like Colossians myself

Apache Wedding Prayer

Now you will feel no rain,
For each of you will be shelter to the other.

Now you will feel no cold,
For each of you will be warmth to the other.

Now there is no more loneliness,
For each of you will be companion to the other.

Now you are two bodies,
But there is one life before you.

Go now to your dwelling place,
To enter into the days of your togetherness.
And may your days be good and long upon the earth.

"What is REAL?" asked the Rabbit one day, when they were lying side by side near the nursery fender, before Nana came to tidy the room. "Does it mean having things that buzz inside you and a stick-out handle?"

"Real isn't how you are made," said the Skin Horse. "It's a thing that happens to you. When a child loves you for a long, long time, not just to play with, but REALLY loves you, then you become Real."

"Does it hurt?" asked the Rabbit.

"Sometimes," said the Skin Horse, for he was always truthful. "When you are Real you don't mind being hurt."

"Does it happen all at once, like being wound up," he asked, "or bit by bit?"

"It doesn't happen all at once," said the Skin Horse. "You become. It takes a long time. That's why it doesn't often happen to people who break easily, or have sharp edges, or who have to be carefully kept. Generally, by the time you are Real, most of your hair has been loved off, and your eyes drop out and you get loose in the joints and very shabby. But these things don't matter at all, because once you are Real you can't be ugly, except to people who don't understand."

We had this, we were older when we married and it fit well with how we had gotten to that point.

We had the words to Bring Me Sunshine (the Morecambe and Wise song, written by Willie Nelson!).

Bring me sunshine in your smile, bring me laughter all the while
In this world where we live there should be more happiness
So much joy you can give to each brand new bright tomorrow
Make me happy through the years, never bring me any tears
Let your arms be as warm as the sun from up above
Bring me fun bring me sunshine and bring me love
Bring me sunshine in your eyes, bring me rainbows from the clear blue skies
Life's too short to be spent having anything but fun
We can be so content if we gather little sunbeams
Be light hearted darlin', all day long, keep me singing a happy song
Let your arms be as warm as the sun from up above
Bring me fun bring me sunshine and bring me love
Bring me sunshine in your smile...
Bring me fun bring me sunshine and bring me love

Typical of me to put my foot in it 😬! It’s good to hear you are still friendly with your ex, and you have happy memories to look back on.

We had this read at our wedding...

On Marriage
BY KAHLIL GIBRANN_
Then Almitra spoke again and said, And
what of Marriage, master?
And he answered saying:
You were born together, and together you
shall be forevermore.
You shall be together when the white
wings of death scatter your days.
Ay, you shall be together even in the
silent memory of God.
But let there be spaces in your togetherness,
And let the winds of the heavens dance
between you.

Love one another, but make not a bond
of love:
Let it rather be a moving sea between
the shores of your souls.
Fill each other’s cup but drink not from
one cup.
Give one another of your bread but eat
not from the same loaf.
Sing and dance together and be joyous,
but let each one of you be alone,
Even as the strings of a lute are alone
though they quiver with the same music.

Give your hearts, but not into each
other’s keeping.
For only the hand of Life can contain
your hearts.
And stand together yet not too near
together:
For the pillars of the temple stand apart,
And the oak tree and the cypress grow
not in each other’s shadow.

I’ve always loved this from captain corellis mandolin!

We had the lyrics to ‘How Long Will I Love You’ by the Waterboys:

"How Long Will I Love You?"

How long will I love you?
As long as there are stars above you
And longer if I can

How long will I need you?
As long as the seasons need to
Follow their plan

How long will I be with you?
As long as the sea is bound to
Wash upon the sand

How long will I want you?
As long as you want me to
And longer by far

How long will I hold you?
As long as your father told you
As long as you are

How long will I give to you?
As long as I live through you
However long you say

How long will I love you?
As long as stars are above you
And longer if I may

www.weddingideasmag.com/7-non-cheesy-wedding-readings-for-long-term-couples/amp/

I had the second reading at my wedding but I exchanged the word cuddle for snuggle. I also missed off end part. Could not have line thank God as non religious ceremony. Put thank goodness. Just put abridged.

We had Union by Robert Fulghum too.

And this one:

ALWAYS LOVE EACH OTHER, BY LARRY S. CHENGGES

If you can always be as close and happy as today,
Yet be secure enough to grow and change along the way.
If you can keep for you alone your love as man and wife,
Yet find the time to share your joy with others in your life.
If you can be as one and walk through marriage hand in hand,
Yet still support the goals and dreams that each of you have planned.
If you can dare to always go your separate ways together,
Then all the wonder of today will stay with you forever.

The second one was very much a compromise as Father in Law really wanted to do a reading (and we wanted to include him in that way too) but didn’t like or feel comfortable with our other suggestions for one reason or another.

I’d have liked the lyrics to The Book of Love by Peter Gabriel really, or the lyrics to In My Life by the Beatles, we settled for playing both whilst we signed the register.

I knew Hovis. He'd be amused but baffled that people now read one of his poems at their weddings but it is a great poem😂

"What greater thing is there for two human souls, than to feel that they are joined for life — to strengthen each other in all labour, to rest on each other in all sorrow, to minister to each other in all pain, to be one with each other in silent unspeakable memories at the moment of the last parting?"
From George Eliot

We had Louise Cuddon’s poem

I’ll be there my darling, through thick and through thin
When your mind’s in a mess and your head’s in a spin
When your plane’s been delayed, and you’ve missed the last train.
When life is just threatening to drive you insane
When your thrilling whodunit has lost its last page
When somebody tells you, you’re looking your age
When your coffee’s too cool, and your wine is too warm
When the forecast said “Fine”, but you’re out in a storm
When your quick break hotel, turns into a slum
And your holiday photos show only your thumb

When you park for five minutes in a resident’s bay
And return to discover you’ve been towed away
When the jeans that you bought in hope or in haste
Just stick on your hips and don’t reach round your waist
When the food you most like brings you out in red rashes
When as soon as you boot up the bloody thing crashes

So my darling, my sweetheart, my dear…
When you break a rule, when you act the fool
When you’ve got the flu, when you’re in a stew
When you’re last in the queue, don’t feel blue
’cause I’m telling you, I’ll be there.

We had Apache Marriage Blessing and These I Can Promise, read by two friends. (And part of Oh The Places You'll Go read by our then 9 year old! But not quite what you're looking for..!)

And I love The Orange but I didn't know it when we got married. We have a print of it though!

Aah I like this thread! We had Union, and the one from Captain Corelli's Mandolin

At my previous wedding (ahem) we had 'Oh The Places You'll Go' by Dr. Seuss.

We had Scaffolding by Seamus Heaney unfortunately my twat of an Ex gave it to the OW as a Christmas gift thinking because they worked in Construction????
Seriously I now know the words were lost on such a dumb ass

www.liveabout.com/quotes-readings-handfasting-unity-ceremony-3490443#:~:text=Readings%20for%20a%20Handfasting%20Unity%20Ceremony%20%22This%20cord,two%20of%20you%20have%20found%20with%20one%20another.
I read "These are the hands" at my daughter's wedding.

This one by Clive James is fab, my friend had it.

Have you got a biro I can borrow?
I’d like to write your name
On the palm of my hand, on the walls of the hall
The roof of the house, right across the land
So when the sun comes up tomorrow
It’ll look to this side of the hard-bitten planet
Like a big yellow button with your name written on it

Have you got a biro I can borrow?
I’d like to write some lines
In praise of your knee, and the back of your neck
And the double-decker bus that brings you to me
So when the sun comes up tomorrow
It’ll shine on a world made richer by a sonnet
And a half-dozen epics as long as the Aeneid

Oh give me a pen and some paper
Give me a chisel or a camera
A piano and a box of rubber bands
I need room for choreography
And a darkroom for photography
Tie the brush into my hands

Have you got a biro I can borrow?
I’d like to write your name
From the belt of Orion to the share of the Plough
The snout of the Bear to the belly of the Lion
So when the sun goes down tomorrow
There’ll never be a minute
Not a moment of the night that hasn’t got you in it

We had this. Not too sappy or talking of future babies (we're far too old for that!)

We had this one at our wedding.

The Prophet by Kahil Gibran

Love one another,
But make not a bond of love.
Let it rather be a moving sea
Between the shores of your souls.
Fill each other's cup,
But drink not from the same cup.
Sing and dance together and be joyous,
But let each one of you be alone
Even as the strings of a lute are alone
Though they quiver with the same music.
Give your hearts,
But not into each other's keeping
For only the hand of life
Can contain your hearts.
And stand together
Yet not too near together
For the pillars of the temple stand apart
And the oak tree and the cypress
Grow not in each other's shadow.

I really love that one. It's so true.

If you have a friend with a big enough personality to pull this off, I've always loved it: