Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

Chat

Join the discussion and chat with other Mumsnetters about everyday life, relationships and parenting.

Flip

1 2 3 4

Original poster

Does this make me slightly pervy?

91 replies

Libre2 · 13/07/2022 23:37

I am a 48 year old woman with a huge celebrity crush on a 24 year old. I’m feeling slightly iffy about the situation.

Obviously I realise that in the very unlikely chance that we were ever to meet we would have literally nothing in common (other than we come from the same geographical location) and therefore I wouldn’t find him remotely attractive but I am watching him with lustful eyes.

OP posts:

Hutchy16 · 15/07/2022 18:59

its lando Norris for me…22 🙈

Hutchy16 · 15/07/2022 19:02

Mingmoo · 14/07/2022 19:06

I have a huge secret crush on Lando Norris who is literally half my age. I don't know why. In real life I would never. Distant, light-hearted crushes are fine; it's when you start stalking/not living your life/trying to make them real that you need to worry.

Haha omg so it’s not just me 🙈 Lando Norris is lovely

Original poster

Libre2 · 15/07/2022 21:26

Well thanks for all the thoughts. Lando Norris does nothing for me. I am feeling better since I discovered my crush is in fact 29 - way over the age of consent.

I am slightly confused from one PP’s comment though - how does a woman have non-consensual sex with a man?

OP posts:

Hutchy16 · 15/07/2022 22:09

Libre2 · 15/07/2022 21:26

Well thanks for all the thoughts. Lando Norris does nothing for me. I am feeling better since I discovered my crush is in fact 29 - way over the age of consent.

I am slightly confused from one PP’s comment though - how does a woman have non-consensual sex with a man?

Wow…you can have non-consensual sex with a man because arousal is not a sign of consent but rather a bodily response to stimulation. Much like a woman can orgasm during rape, but it doesn’t mean she wants it or likes it…

equally the man could be a vulnerable person, drunk, underage, drugged, coerced…there are any number of ways in which sex with a man can be non-consensual

im actually shocked that you even asked that question

Original poster

Libre2 · 15/07/2022 22:58

Hutchy16 · 15/07/2022 22:09

equally the man could be a vulnerable person, drunk, underage, drugged, coerced…there are any number of ways in which sex with a man can be non-consensual

im actually shocked that you even asked that question

Show quote history

Well I appreciate you taking the time to explain but you know, if you answer in such a manner of “I’m shocked, how can you be so stupid” you discourage people from asking questions and then they don’t learn.

OP posts:

Lucinda7 · 15/07/2022 23:01

It you don't believe a man can be forced to have sex Google the Mormon sex in chains case. It's from the 70's. It caused great hilarity in the gutter press at the time.

Original poster

Libre2 · 15/07/2022 23:16

Lucinda7 · 15/07/2022 23:01

It you don't believe a man can be forced to have sex Google the Mormon sex in chains case. It's from the 70's. It caused great hilarity in the gutter press at the time.

I don’t not believe it, it’s just something I haven’t heard of before.

OP posts:

SteveHarringtonsChestHair · 15/07/2022 23:47

I was about to feel bad about my username as Steve is 18/19 I’m season 4, but I just googled and Joe Keery who plays him was born in 1992, so he’s a proper adult! Obvs in real life I wouldn’t be at all interested in a man that young - my XP was 4 years younger and that was enough!

Pinklimey · 16/07/2022 00:30

Stand by me: I had a crush on one of the characters and eventually I had to admit that my age difference from the character was getting embarrassing. I aged; he didn't, obvs.

DeanStockwelll · 16/07/2022 00:47

HippoLover2 · 14/07/2022 11:51

The power dynamics make this wrong and fantasising about him would mean you are fantasising about non consensual sex, because if the age difference. Mumsnet has taught me this.

Good lord that's one heck of a leap, from having a crush on some one to non consensual sex . Aka rape !
Are you saying you have never fancied anyone at all .
Even if the crush turns to lust ( and all that umm cough goes with it ) it is still in no way at all harming the person you have a crush on.
As long as the person of your desire is over the age of consent what does it matter.

@Libre2 , I tend to have crushes on much older guys , my DH was 15 yrs older than me , it doesn't make either one of us perverse at all.

CredibilityProblem · 16/07/2022 00:59

Given the way in which sexual morals have changed over my lifetime I wouldn't rule out my grandchildren thinking that it's obviously deeply unethical and icky to involve an unconsenting third party in your sexual fantasies.

ZarquonsSandals · 16/07/2022 08:56

It's one thing to have a crush/fantasy, but completely another to be forcing yourself on that person (should a situation where you are together for some reason arise).
Equally, you can't always help your thoughts and feelings, but you don't have to act on them.

Hutchy16 · 16/07/2022 17:14

Libre2 · 15/07/2022 22:58

Show quote history

I’m shocked because it is (in my eyes) downright ridiculous that a grown woman wouldn’t understand how a man could be raped.

it shouldn’t need saying

Hutchy16 · 16/07/2022 17:17

And actually, I didn’t call you stupid (I just thought it)

FriendlyPineapple · 16/07/2022 17:20

I have a stupid crush on a guy who works for me and is ten years younger.

I'm never going to do anything about it, but it does make work slightly more interesting.

I don't feel that's it's pervy but seeing as I'm his boss it's a slightly cringe situation 🤷🏻‍♀️

It's pass. All crushes have their day.

RichardsGear · 16/07/2022 17:30

Show quote history

I’m shocked because it is (in my eyes) downright ridiculous that a grown woman wouldn’t understand how a man could be raped.

AFAIK the legal definition of rape is penetration of a vagina, anus or mouth by a penis, so what you describe is more likely to be classed as sexual assault I would imagine.

OP, I don't see anything wrong with a crush. I'm sure you're not going round in your day to day life sexually harassing men half your age

Flip

1 2 3 4

Swipe left for the next trending thread