Why do some people have such a problem with body hair?

[Soubriquet]

I rarely shave my legs or underarms. It doesn’t bother me and my dh actually likes hairy underarms.

Yet, I still shave them if I wear something that shows my underarms off because I’m worried people will say something.

A lot of people don’t like women having hairy underarms. Yet it’s acceptable on men.

I have seen the latest trend over the last couple of years where women are showing off their underarms. Even dying the hair a funky colour to make it more acceptable yet most of the comments are unkind.

Why? What is so offensive about body hair?

It doesn’t smell. I wash it every morning and apply deodorant.

I just don't like it. I don't mind leg hair, and find it a bit of a chore to have to shave my legs - I do resent social conditioning for that! - but I've never liked armpit hair and have shaved ever since the very first hair appeared there. Don't like it on men either, but accept that they would look a bit odd without it. I don't shave anywhere else, just the bikini line if I have a less high cut swim suit.

I don't like beards especially the long hipster type that get food caught in them, yuck.

Its like a woman with a deep voice or whose especially muscular, it may be natural for her but people don’t react favourably because it’s not feminine seeming

I'd take issue with that actually - women with low voices usually sound more authoritative - because they sound more like men! Women can't really get that muscular because we don't have the right hormones - a very toned woman is attractive.

I think underarm hair is a bit straggly and wispy. That is probaby partly why we don't like it.

@riesenrad

Yes but “more authoritative” voice hardly equals more attractive for a woman. Which is the same with the body hair. It’s not about what’s intimidating- it’s about what’s femininely attractive.
Deep voice and body hairs is not, hence it isn’t viewed favourably in general.
Most people don’t find especially toned and muscular women attractive, though you may.

No idea although I hate body hair personally but my oldest girl asks me to wax her legs maybe twice but her pits are free and wild I don’t mention them and nor does she. Someone did point it out to me when she wore a dress the other day like did I know and I was like she hadn’t asked to shave them so idk and neither does she clearly.

Why the hell is it always women who are criticised and expected to conform (by whom? Other women?!)
Personally I don’t like having hairy legs or armpits but then I don’t find hairy men in any way attractive either.

It's not because women have equally prominent pubic hair and armpit hair to men. Women have prominent armpit hair. Women have prominent pubic hair! Why would it be masculine?

I'm not even disputing about leg hair, I can understand. Not for pubic or armpit- that's just straight up brainwashing but the media.

There's no point printing that viewpoint, it's harmful, and it's also not true. Women have hair.

In your opinion.

Lots do otherwise every hairy man would be single

@panteloni

Its not brainwashing at all, it’s simply trying to accentuate something feminine which is less body hair on women - no different to wearing make up or lipstick. That’s why any time where women can be seen bare they will usually end up shaving - for instance underarm shaving became popular once bathing suits and sleeveless dresses came in, bikini line shaving once bikinis became a thing - this then too knits logically course to totally shaved down there etc.

Im not trying to say it makes scientific sense. Your overthinking it, all you need to realise is that for most people more body hair seems more masculine, everywhere but the head, it’s just the way it is. Doesn’t mean you have to let it dictate what you do. Not everyone will follow it to the same degree, just like not all women will put as much effort into seeming as attractive as others, but for most they at least go this far. Their body their choice.

Regardless of anyone's personal opinions to body hair - what good does it do to voice such an opinion? Women are already shamed enough, a lot of us probably remember the shame of being seen with body hair as a child or teen.

I can't imagine arguing the point that body hair on women is unattractive or dirty. Just say it's not for you/you can't pull it off and go. There's enough shame in society without even joining in.

@JemimaPuddleducksWaddle

Agreed. A man with shaved armpits or pubic hair (erghh) would just make me laugh. Not interested in those guys who shave all their chests and try to look like there on love island either, something vain about it which doesn’t seem masculine.

@HippoLover how can something that is equally prominent on both sexes be masculine/embarrassing/dirty only on women?

Both sexes have prominent pubic and armpit hair. You have been moulded by society like everyone else.

@panteloni

Im honestly not trying to shame anyone at all, just saying why I think it’s a thing to shave pits. It’s like, people with a mono brow usually shave it right despite it being natural? It’s not worth overthinking imo.

@panteloni I’ve tried to explain already - it’s just a continuation of less body hair being seen as more feminine and accentuating that - no it’s not natural, but neither is lipstick or makeup.
Im aware it is societal but this isn’t some freak occurrence - it would occur in any reality where women show their pits via sleeveless dresses, singlets or bathers. I’m not in the dark about it, neither is anyone else, I don’t need to do it, but I find it looks and feels better for the reasons I’ve explained.

It's shaped by society the same way long hair is for women, apparently. No need to deny it, it's a just nonsense. It's not masculine, it's made up. Anyone who reinforces those messages is not helping. But I'll leave it there.

I read that having body hair signals sexual potency and women are 'supposed' to not be sexually autonomous but always the sexual object of men. So not have their own sexuality. That's why in hisyorical paintings you rarely see naked women with body hair.

Apart from smoothness feeling kind of nice, it seems like it’s to do with being less offensive/less threatening/more worthy of male approval if a woman appears “clean”, “pure” ( much valued in the past and under the radar this is still the case quite often - double standards), childlike, does not display ( or at least is ashamed to display) animalistic characteristics, unfeminine vigor or lack of/resistance to control with their sprouty follicles?

I’m naturally furry and sweaty personally :) and I’ve always been self conscious about it since adolescence.
At the same time, since before I can remember, the idea that our bodies are not acceptable as they are has always given me the massive tooth gritting rage. Maybe from primary school bullies or from growing up in the heroin chic era and having friends with eating troubles.
I think that is also why when I see the L’Oréal ad “ because I’m worth it” let alone that “beach body ready” thing, me pressure goes up like a flipping balloon.
Hearing people talk about others weight (especially if it’s meant to be a compliment) has always given me the disproportionate hump.
I do overthink though.

I feel like we have to stick up for our bodies and appreciate what they do for us and no one has any business or rational basis for policing.

My mum is also mildly furry. she encouraged me to shave my armpits from early teens in order not to be stinky and avoid bullying at school. she grew up in the 50s and spent most of her youth in boarding schools where you conform
or die.

On the other hand, she told me that one of us children when very small had noticed that her face was downy, and had stroked her cheek and upper lip saying“furry mummy” in an appreciative sort of way, after which she never felt so self conscious again. It’s always stuck with me.
she is still furry faced to this day!

@panteloni

No short hair on men or long hair is neither masculine or feminine - that is societal. But the idea of less body hair seeming more feminine is obvious and just a accentuation of femininity not some freak occurrence of style.

I shave purely for comfort- I have conditions that make my legs sore and hair rubbing on clothes doesn't help. I shave because I think it looks nicer, my husband likes it too. He shaves his arms and legs sometimes to see his tattoos better. It's only an issue when people shave when they don't want to. For most of us it's not a big deal

No. Sexual active women naturally would have body hair. Women's body hair is most prolific in fertile years dropping out in later years. IE feminine. Lack of hair is surely childlike rather than feminine, which it definitely isn't.

My therapie branch is always busy so its big business. I used to get waxing done. I feel better with shaving done especially in this heat

As I said upthread, I don't shave anywhere and never have. I don't wear make up, never have and my undyed hair is long.
I'm doomed and should go live in a commune with the other hairy smelly women out of sight of respectable sociey 😂

I stopped shaving my pits this year. I was always told as a child that people stink if they don't keep their pits shaved, but i find I smell a lot less. I'm in my 30s and have always said I sweat like a teenager, but not anymore.

I doubt I'll go back to shaving regularly. I've always been terrible at bothering to shave my legs so they get done when and if I feel like it. I love the freedom of not having to worry about the state of my pits, my husband couldn't care less (not that he has a say in my body) and I'm getting used to how it looks.

If hair made people more smelly then all men would stink 🤷🏻‍♀️ my husband has never had BO in all the years I’ve known him. Even after the gym or on a hot day he smells of deodorant. The hair is meant to be there and it damages skin when we remove it. I do it from societal expectation.

I shave legs, armpits and pubes all off because I prefer it, but I know it’s because I’m conditioned by society to think that way. If societal conditioning and the media didn’t exist, I wouldn’t one day have randomly decided to remove all my body hair I’m sure.

I feel like a hypocrite because I absolutely don’t think women should have to shave at all, but I somehow feel as though I do have to?

So yeah, I can tell myself I do it for me but fairly certain it’s society and the patriarchy at play.