Did you marry the type of man you thought you would ?

[LovelyYellowLabrador]

I always thought I’d marry a tradesman type man, probably because that’s what my dad was

funny how strong these senses of unconscious bias are formed

I thought I’d marry an intense poetic type with lots of past trauma.
Married someone quite different.

I thought I’d marry a blond university graduate, who loved reading and travelling. I didn’t. That one got away.

Probably for the best really. 🤣

I thought I would marry someone from a similar background, MC white British, Christian etc. I married an Arabic speaking, Muslim immigrant from North Africa. We have been married over 20 years.

I honestly married better.

I just knew I didn't want to marry someone like my dad and thank fuck I didn't.

I thought I'd marry somebody middle class, 'comfortable' financially and who had a smilar background to me.

I married somebody decidedly working class, poor as a church mouse with a completely different background to me.

I absolutely adore him. He is no longer poor, and arguably no longer working class but I wouldn't care either way. I was quite shallow as a teenager really...

Agreed! I had a short relationship with someone who completely matched that description before I met OH. He was selfish and immature. I think I learned my lesson.

It's all so long ago I can't remember quite what my requirements were, but I do vaguely recall they were quite stringent and I was dubious I would ever meet anybody who lived up to them. By an extraordinary stroke of luck I met the ideal man on the third day of my degree. 40th wedding anniversary coming up soon ...

I got much better than I expected 🤣

No, not at all, because I'm marrying a woman. 😁

It took me a while to figure out I prefer women, but I got there at last.

@Babdoc so sorry for your loss
glad you got to experience something so wonderful

Nope. I was all set to endure a marriage with a complete bastard like my Father was.

Been with dh 20 years and I am still surprised that I have such an awesome husband.

2nd time yes, he's everything and so much more to me. I cannot ever, ever see myself without his hugs, his awful jokes, his warmth when we go to bed for the night and his EPIC DIY skills (as well as other skills!)

Not at all - I thought I'd marry someone less qualified (not being mean) my family worked in manual labour so aasumed id marry someone in that lone of work. So to marry someone like hubby was not at all in my mind. In terms of character 100% yes he is similar to me and exavtly what I wanted. But our backgrounds are very different in everyway.

I guess so. I think I assumed I'd marry someone from a similar professional/educational background to my own, from the same religion, with a similar outlook on family life especially with regard to working life after having DC, on a decent but unexceptional income, and with links to my parents' country of origin (either actually from there, or maybe 2nd or 3rd generation immigrant). DH is all of these things except the last, but interestingly he is not British even though he doesn't share my parents' nationality. So there is a lot in there that I expected. Like a PP I didn't imagine myself with DSC, but then I doubt many people do before it happens, really. There's also slightly more of a class difference then I imagined, but being from another culture it doesn't make itself as obvious as for some PPs.

I think I occasionally fantasised about marrying either my childhood best friend or alternatively a sort of fantasy figure (rich, handsome, the life and soul etc) but don't think I ever thought these things were likely to happen. My sensible/realistic side was clearly quite accurate though! DH is amazing and I have absolutely no regrets.

Very similar to @PollyEsther here. I thought I would marry someone middle class, who had been to uni and had a job in London, similar to my dad. In fact I married someone from a v working class background, no uni and loads of tattoos. He’s amazing and so much better than I could ever have hoped for.

I grew up in a racially segregated country, so growing up I never imaged my Prince Charming would be a different race to me!

He is absolutely wonderful.

First time, yes, I could have been following a script. Unfortunately, the man I married was also following a script and it became incompatible with mine. My second husband is quite different.

No -I thought I wanted someone who looked like a non-conformist - he looks conventional but his heart is warm and rebellious in a non-conformist way. So much better!

Well I married someone that back then would have thought was out of league (and the mam of my dreams!!)

I'm not sure what I expected - but I married someone very like my dad with a very similar background to mine.

I never wanted to get married or live with someone. But I did, but can’t say it was for the best. We have lots in common so, there’s that I suppose

Oh that’s an interesting one
for people been married more than once

where your husbands similar or different in what way

thatbwould make an interesting thread

what amazes me
really amazes me
is how we don’t realise what our subconscious is seeking out