Did you marry the type of man you thought you would ?

[LovelyYellowLabrador]

I always thought I’d marry a tradesman type man, probably because that’s what my dad was

funny how strong these senses of unconscious bias are formed

Yes the first time, and he was totally wrong for me.

No this time, and he's totally right.

I always thought I would end up with an outgoing, life and soul of the party type of guy. My husband is the opposite. In fact it's almost painful watching him in unfamiliar company, but he's the absolute best thing that ever happened to me and without trying to be all smug, when I read of some of the things women here put up with, it makes me even more grateful for my quiet & socially awkward husband.

I was raised by emotionally abusive parents and had such low self esteem that I didn’t believe any man would want to marry me.
I certainly didn’t for a moment expect the half Dutch, blonde, gorgeous, brilliant in bed, great cook, wonderful dad and absolute angel who turned up my first night at uni, married me 5 years later, and who taught me the meaning of love! And who sadly died at just 36, but who I still love to bits 30 years later.

No I thought id marry an arsehole but I married the most wonderful man alive.

No
I thought I would marry a rugger bugger
Loud sociable

If I ever pictured a husband, he was tall, dark haired, blue eyed and in a military uniform! I think Prince Eric from The Little Mermaid and my uncle being a soldier and coming home with lots of other young soldiers all the time merged an idea in my head.

I married a tall, dark haired, blue eyed airman.

Same here. Dh changed my whole perception of what a man could be frankly!

I never gave much thought to the type of man I’d marry. I ended up with a cunt on all levels imaginable.

I didn’t expect to marry, but vaguely expected to find a man like my dad. Sensitive thoughtful poet type.

Married a military man 😂 Oddly, so did my sister.

Some hippy, crusty type - we'd marry on the beach, live off the land etc 🙄

Still single, never married - but me tomatoes are coming on lovely 🤣

I was sure I'd marry a man who was a music-mad like me. Have married a guy who sort of likes music, but it's mostly background to him, not into classical music at all and can't listen to a whole rock/pop album without getting bored midway through and wanting something else on. It's less of a big deal that I thought, though. And probably as well - if he'd also been into music it might have been a bit weirdly like marrying my dad 😳

I'm not sure, I don't think I really expected someone to want to marry me and I was such an emotional wreck in my teens/early 20s. If I'd given it any thought I'd probably have said someone like my dad. Caring, capable, devoted to family (he was a single dad to me and my siblings after my mum left).

Then I met dh when I was 18 and he proved to be all that, plus black haired/ blue eyed gorgeous. We've been together 32 years, married for 27. I'm very lucky.

Nope. I thought I was going to marry a creative and we were going to live in a tiny flat in Hackney. Being very cool.

Married a man completely different and superficially very different to me. Most people who meet us for the first time raise an eyebrow, at least until we start talking, then we are an obvious fit.

I'm not cool

@Babdoc I'm sorry for your loss but glad you found someone perfect

Skinterior, he was a sweetheart and my soulmate, and I would still have married him even if I’d known we would only have 16 years together. My only regret is that my DDs were too young when he died (11 months, and 27 months) to have any direct memories of him. But as a Christian, I hope that we will all be reunited with him in the end.

No, not at all.
I married a woman.

Definitely not. I just assumed I would marry someone from a similar background. I don't want to be one of those twats going on about the class system but DH and I definitely came from different backgrounds and faced quite a lot of opposition from families and mocking by friends (who obviously weren't real friends, lesson learnt). Real friends didn't mock but just assumed it wouldn't last and was just sex.

Thirty years later and still together and very very happy. It wasn't hard as such, just a lot of learning about different things for both of us in the beginning - I realised how ignorant I was about lots of things, and how fortunate and privileged I had been. We had quite a bit of teasing about that Pulp Fiction "Common People" song!

This is an interesting thread!

No, I thought I'd marry a creative, romantic, gregarious type...instead I married a practical, down-to-earth introvert!

Bloody glad I did though, he's the best man I know. As it happens, today's our wedding anniversary. 🥰

This is something I have been thinking about a lot recently, for various reasons. I'm glad you had such happiness (and you have lasting happiness in your DC together. I hope that doesn't sound trite). I'm not religious but I can see how much "comfort" it could bring - I probably sound insensitive as well as trite.

Love is amazing.

No! In fact after 30 odd years I still think but how did this get to be my life? I was supposed to marry a chartered accountant! Married a sports professional 🤷‍♀️

DH is definitely my type in terms of physique and intelligence. He's less book smart maybe but more smart, smart. He can build or fix anything, for example. So I think he's better than the prototype I thought I'd marry.

I didn’t think I would ever get married, it wasn’t legal until I turned 26 so it wasn’t one of those things I consciously thought about.

Hes kind, considerate, honest, clever, a huge geek (like me!) and just a good person. Hes genuine perfection and couldn’t be a better husband or papa.

I did.

I almost married one that didn't fit exactly, but then the right one came along and that was that.

Yes I did! Love the bones of him even after nearly 20 years. Still get a flutter when I hear the key in the door and know he's home. God how twee 🤣

Didn't really think about how future dh would look but personality wise I think I got what I thought I would. Quiet, gentle, caring, bookish, devoted to family. He's lovely 🤩

I ended up with a rugby-playing lawyer - very different to the louche, bohemian musician / writer / artist that young me foresaw!

However, he is kind, handsome, does the dishes without complaint, loves our cats and makes me laugh every day, so I can't complain. 😀