How many friends do you have?

[Sunflowers2047]

Just wondering if I'm normal. I have one really good friend at work who I occasionally see out of work, like once a month or maybe a bit less. Then I have two good friends from my last job who I see probably once a month. I have maybe 4 or 5 good friends who live far away that I see perhaps once a year. I get on well with most people I work with but I wouldn't say they're really friends. The majority of weekends no one at all asks me to meet up. This weekend is another one where I'll be alone all weekend. Is this normal? I've started a new hobby to try and make friends but haven't made any yet.

No not abnormal. I think we all think everyone else has loads of friends.
adults are so poor at making new friends generally…except for some people who have that knack.
we don’t ask the most basic question that kids ask as an opener when they have got along with someone for a few minutes “will you be my friend?” I think we should all practice that.
In reality “adulting” gets in the way of making friendships. We are time poor. If you have small children and SAHM or part time then it gets easier for a time as there is stuff like mums and toddlers, PTAs etc. but if nice you’re back full time working it is very hard. For most of us working takes up so much of our time and then exhausts us mentally so we don’t have energy or drive to do anything about making new firends.
but hope is at hand. I have just retired. My friendship scores are rising rapidly as I join new activities and meet new people with similar interests. There’s a whole new world out there. I am now a lady who lunches- never thought I’d be in that position. 🤣🤣😳

How old are you? Have you dated - is it something you'd be interested in?
I separated from my husband last year - he was abusive and controlling. I'm enjoying my own conpany and the peace and quiet but now I've started online dating and am talking to a really nice guy
I moved around the country all my life and went to 3 different secondary schools so never really made long term friends. All I have now are my work colleagues. I enjoy their company at work but don't socialise outside work

I joined a gym a few years ago and although it's not the sort of place to make friends there's always a couple of people to say hello to. The most important thing is that it gives structure to the evening or weekend and I think that's more important than worrying that you don't have a particular friend to spend time with

It's whether you are content OP, or feel like there's something missing. I know someone through work who is always busy, got something planned for every single weekend with one of the many best friends she always keeps talking about; dinner parties, drinks out, activities, yet is one of the loneliest, most unfulfilled people I have ever met.

I used to have a much more active social life and a large(ish) friendship group of about 8 people but they have moved away so the dynamics have naturally changed. I also had a friendship group through my hobby but after having DS and lockdown hitting, it's just died down as I'm not able to meet up regularly.

I have a couple of close friends, who live locally, and someone from work I get on really well with and talk with most days but I wouldn't describe any of them as "best friends" although we have all been there for each other over the years one way or another and meet at least once a month (non work ones).

I do have a DH and a toddler who take up most of my weekends and whilst mostly I'm okay with that, I do sometimes miss the time when weekends were all about socialising. On the other hand, now I'm knackered by about 9pm every evening so if they were always messaging to meet, I'd probably be on here asking how to deal with over active friends who take the hint haha!

I have 2 close friends I class as sisters who would be there for me in a heartbeat and I for them then I have a tight group of maybe 6 friends who I can call for help if necessary and then the outer group of quite a few who I see for catch ups etc.
I'm blessed.

1 good one that I’ve known for years but don’t see a lot and 2/3 that I maybe go for drinks with a couple of times a year. Pretty much on my own, kids but no other family so days like today I’ve spent completely alone

None! I am happiest alone though. I love my cat 😀

None. I have an old friend I see maybe 2/3 times a year and that’s it, no work friends, school friends, hobby friends. I never have plans or get invited anywhere. It’s rubbish.

3 who live far away. Locally, none.

I know a lot of people but don't have really any friend. I had an operation a few months ago and none of my so called friends came to visit me during my recovery. I got one text from two of them and that was all, others nothing. They live closed enough but no visit, kind of hurtful, eye opener. I often all alone at weekend, most of the time spent in bed as no one to go for a walk.

Two friends who i speak to most days, another who I speak to at least once a week, 3 other friends am close to but only see every few weeks and a few more I am not as close with but who I see a few times a year.
I'm not one for meeting up in groups much but do enjoy occasional small group meet ups.

Erin hope you feeling ok. Yes hard when zero effort made. I find people dont commit now Im done chasing. I just do things on my own now. I think when kids older it stops. Used see them at school gates

How old are you op?

I am nearly fifty and it’s suddenly started to matter a lot less.

I have a handful of friends from my childhood that I rarely see but stay in touch with quite closely due to distance. Dh has the same

Theee groups of friends- one a study group, school mums and old friends

i have 6-10 friends I see regularly - close friends that I can rely on.

I work extremely hard to look after my friends. Most reciprocate . I am easy going and can make friends with a lamppost - just lately I feel too tired to socialise a lot. I find a care a lot less about this snd lots of things ( recovering from covid) I am not sure I can sustain my passion for a vibrant social life with my actual energy levels - they are mismatched!

I have quite a few friends but only a couple close friends. I spend a lot of time alone, this weekend I’m pretty much on my own (I have 2 teens who are not always great company). I find a lot of people are married, have kids and other things that keep them busy at the weekend, some friends work at the weekends too. It can feel lonely at times.

Not too bad as kids with me this weekend so I have to get out of bed but they are going away with their dad and his new girlfriend for two weeks.

My 2 oldest friends from school who I speak to at least once a week and meet up with every month or so and as couples a few times a year

group of 5 from ante natal classes 2 of who I speak to daily and see every couple of weeks

good friend through the kids speak and text regularly and meet as families. another friend from kids school also meet regularly to dog walk and have dinner

2 former neighbours speak monthly and have coffee every couple of months

Friend who I met when the kids were tiny, don’t even know how bit talk every week and have dinner every couple of months

also close to siblings and partners siblings

not a huge group but loyal

I have only a few I am close to and then friends I catch up with occasionally. Im also part of a circle but not the one who brought peope together so I only tend to meet people when it's a group event.

Everyone seems so absorbed in their family life and the person that was my best friend got in a new relationship and now she's only about family time and spending time with his family.

One of the worst things is that I could do more with more people, but I find most people boring and they just don't compare to my previous best friend😩

ErinAoife

Your post made me sad. If you like walking could you join the local ramblers group or even try parkrun? Very sociable both of them but it's not so ...I dunno, ernest I suppose as you are doing something whilst you talk xx good luck and to you OP xx

Only one good friend here. I'm on my own many weekends.

I did have friends along the way but they moved/married/died...and one has hurt me so much [moved away with her partner during Covid without even telling me the house was on the market] that I think it's best I rely on myself and that's ok.

4 'best' friends
10 'close' friends
Plus 20 or so 'circle of friends'

But I still live where I grew up (London) and 99% of my friends are from school.

I live overseas and I'd say I've got one good friend here. Back in the UK I have 5 or 6 close friends. Living so far away I don't get to see them as often as I'd like. Do your friends have families OP? That can make people less likely to meet up at the weekends etc. My close friend here I don't end up seeing that often even though we live very near each other because of children's schedules, her having family nearby. It's just hard to make it work sometimes.

4 good friends, lots of friends of the sort I might invite round to dinner but not close-close.