How many friends do you have?

[Sunflowers2047]

Just wondering if I'm normal. I have one really good friend at work who I occasionally see out of work, like once a month or maybe a bit less. Then I have two good friends from my last job who I see probably once a month. I have maybe 4 or 5 good friends who live far away that I see perhaps once a year. I get on well with most people I work with but I wouldn't say they're really friends. The majority of weekends no one at all asks me to meet up. This weekend is another one where I'll be alone all weekend. Is this normal? I've started a new hobby to try and make friends but haven't made any yet.

4 or 5 close friends. 4 or 5 friends I see in a group but rarely one on one.
Then two or three good friends who I've known for years but due to distance may only see once every other year or not even that.
People don't ask me to meet up either - usually I say I'm the instigator. People seem totally happy to do things if someone else organises it.

I have a handful of friends and quite a lot of acquaintances/less close friends. More often than not, I'm the instigator of communication. I don't mind. I don't have a best friend.
On these threads i tend to recommend a book by Robin Dunbar: Friends- understanding the power of our most important relationships.
I found it fascinating.

I have 5 proper friends. One lives several hours away, another one hour and the other 3 are local. Quite a few other acquaintances/ mums I see at the nursery gate etc.

6 close friends who I really enjoy catching up with and know I can trust with anything. We're not a 'group' , I met them at different stages of my life and they don't really know each but on occasion I'll arrange a thing with a few of them as they all get on with each other. On top of those, lots of friendly acquaintances who I'm on WhatsApp groups with, occasionally go out as groups.

I used to have lots of friends and always be out, but now I've got to my forties I've binned off people who feel like effort. My 6 'chosen ones' (lucky them 😆😆) are people I look forward to spending time with and can be totally myself. I can go months without seeing some of them but when we do see each other it's like we saw each other yesterday. I feel very lucky to have them.

A few years ago I had 3 lovely friendship groups, each made up of 3 friends (old school friends, neighbours and mum friends).

I dont know wtf happened but they've all broken down. It's like we all hit 40 and one person out of each group decided they'd had enough.

Group 1-friend of 25 years fell out with us both, said some incredibly hurtful and untrue things. We're limping along but it's very difficult.

Group 2-one has ghosted the group. I've tried with the remaining neighbour but it's just not working as a group of 2.

Group 3-one of the group has acted really terribly in her marriage (multiple affairs). Other mum finally snapped, called her out on it all. Again, I'm trying to make an effort with them individually but it's very difficult.

I feel very hurt and let down by it all. I always subscribed to the mantra that to have good friends you had to be a good friend but that's bullshit. I've reached the point now where its just not worth the effort anymore. I think I'm just going to concentrate on my family and when I retire I'll throw myself back into making friends. I just need a break from it all,friendships should be easy and I've had 3 years of drama and hurt caused by other people.

I've been very unwell over the last couple of years too and that's been a huge eye opener. People I thought were my friends not even bothering to text to see how my treatment went when I've spent years supporting them through their live struggles. It's not happening anymore. I'm done with the lot of them.

None. I have work colleagues past & present but apart from that none one I'd want to see socially

After a day at work I just have no desire to be social

Four close, and about another six or seven who invite me places but not close close, more social friends and then a wider social circle. I’m giving a party shortly and about thirty coming, no one from work or wider family.

I’ve found as I get older that friends are very important, I don’t want to sit in every weekend doing nothing or just always be with my husband or work colleagues, I like having things to do and places to go. So I started always saying yes to things, and always inviting people to things and it’s widened my social circle.

I've tended to go through adult life with just one friend at a time. Not intentionally, but I no longer find making friends easy. Currently, my closest friend is a neighbour. We probably meet once a fortnight, sometimes longer, to exercise. I keep thinking of inviting her to do something purely social, but vague suggestions have been knocked back , so I won't.

Previously, my closest friend was not local but we were in frequent contact on social media.

I also have about 6 friends from school or uni who I might WhatsApp or speak on the phone to once a year. A few former colleagues on Facebook. That's it. There isn't anyone I would turn to in a crisis. My dh is for that.

6 or 7 close female friends. I do different things with different friends. Used to have friendship groups but they have broken up over the years. I'm 55 now so think these are the friends I will keep.

Three friends I speak to or see weekly, one of these is my sister. Two more friends I see probably once or twice a year to catch up.
That's as much as I can manage to give proper attention. After that it gets diluted and I like to support my friendships.

I have 1 decent really close friend who I trust 100% and then a few acquaintances who I might ocassionally text or go for a drink with but they aren't people who are that reliable or I'm that close to.

Quite a few from different stages of my life, and some new ones. A nice circle of local friends I see regularly, and others who live thousands of miles away but I keep in touch with.
all of them are important to me, but I don’t need regular intense conversations with them.
I also enjoy mixing them up with each other when I think they’ll enjoy that.
Looking back over my (now long) life, I’ve never fallen out with a friend. Of course some contacts have fallen by the wayside naturally, but never due to arguments or bad feelings.

2 friends close enough to have been my bridesmaids, message and chat regularly etc. One lives locally and I see her every week at least once, another lives at the other end of the country so we either visit each other or meet in the middle 2 or 3 times a year.

2 friends from school days where everyone's life kind of went in different directions and we don't meet up/chat that often but do make a point of getting together every few months, sometimes for the full weekend, and it's like nothing has changed and no time has passed at all.

Another 2 from my first job out of uni (20 years ago now nearly) who due to distance we tend to just meet up as a 3 somewhere in between all 3 of us, maybe twice a year, and just chat on a WhatsApp group in between.

Various other friends I maybe used to see more of/ be closer to but things have drifted, but I still enjoy seeing them when it does happen - it's just rare these days.

2 or 3 mums I've met at groups since DD was born. We go for the odd coffee or lunch or soft play playmate but it's fairly recent so I'm not sure I can fully call them friends as such yet. I like them all but its very much based on being local to each other and having children the same age, for now anyway. Maybe something deeper will come from it

I'm really friendly with the wife of DH's best friend too but do tend to think of them as DH's friends first if that makes sense?

I'm really close to my sisters and to their, now adult, children (big age gap between me and siblings so I have nieces/nephews only a couple of years younger than me) so a lot of our socialising is done with family as well.

6 in total. 2, 2, 1 and 1 if that makes sense. The two single ones I don't see very often but would still count them as close friends and it's like we've never been apart when we do get together. The others we get together as a 3 whenever it fits in, probably once or twice a month max.

I’ve got 104 friends

What's your issue here? You want more friends, better friends, or friends who want to do stuff on the weekends?

@Brideandprejudice my issue is I feel like I haven't got many friends and I spent 99% of weekends alone and I wanted to know if I'm the abnormal one.

2 very close friends who I speak to weekly but see once a month. We met at work 7 years ago.

2 work friends (current colleagues) I occasionally see outside of work.

2 college friends I see every 12months or so

Depends what you mean by friends - I have lots of people that I socialise with in a group, about 8 that I spend time with just the 2 of us, maybe 4 I would count as really close friends.
I have a lot less friends now than I did when I was younger as people my age (me included) are often focused on their children.
I think lots of single people do spend weekends alone, but that doesn’t really matter if you are not happy to do that.
i think it’s relatively easy to find people to spend time with, just join a club, unless there’s a reason you can’t like social anxiety ?

Two friends, and many acquaintances.
I don't ever use the term "friend" loosely.

1 close friend who I’ve known since we were kids, a couple of other friends/ex colleagues who I might go out with occasionally, and I’m quite close to my SIL so class her as a good friend too but that’s it.

Two if I take friendship to mean I would feel comfortable asking if they felt like meeting up, and would go to them if I needed support. There are other people to a greater or lesser extent, mainly who live away from me.

I have started a hobby that is a group activity but haven't made any friends.

If it’s actually friendships you want rather than just people to spend time with at the weekend that’s maybe harder but maybe groups that involve talking or that are very social by nature would be better. Eg Our local park run all the volunteers go out for coffee/ brunch after the run.

Op I havent made friends through a hobby its disheartening. 3 good friends. 1 has fizzled felt we just outgrew the friendship vague when I yet again chased up the meetups. Am feeling lately people make little effort of keep in touch. Im 48.