What's the worst/weirdest restaurant experience you've ever had?

[BruhWhy]

We once went into a very small, posh sandwichy sort of café for lunch with the kids. The vibe felt immediately off, we walked in and the loud, happy conversation the people working there were having abruptly stopped and it was suddenly just dead silent, we were the only customers in there but it was definitely open, I checked! They stopped what they were doing and kind of just stood there behind the counters and stared at us angrily as we situated ourselves, it was SO weird.

I ordered us all drinks and paninis, the woman taking my order didn't say a word to me, just wrote down what I ordered and pointed me back towards the table we were sitting at. The atmosphere was extremely tense throughout and they kept staring at us like we'd just come in and rubbed shit up their walls.

Food came, and as the server set a plate down in the middle of the table with sauces and stuff on it, the plate broke in two. Just cracked as she put it down. She saw it crack, paused for a second, then... walked off 😳

We ate in awkward silence while they stood behind the counter looking annoyed, and then left as quickly as we could. It was so fucking weird and I still think about it 5 years later because I just can't work out why they were acting so strange!

So many but the one that sticks out is a tea shop in Mousehole. The menu was basically just cream teas but it was really weirdly written and illogically priced something like:
Cream tea for one (1 scone 1 hot drink) £4.50
Cream tea for one (2 scones 1 hot drink) £5
Cream tea for two (2 scones 2 hot drinks) £ 10

Anyway I wasnt particularly hungry and wanted a cold drink so I didn't order any food, but husband ordered cream tea for one with 2 scones. Then followed this conversation:
Manager "What are you having to eat?"
Me: "Oh nothing please just the leamonade"
Her: "You dont want anything at all?"
Me: "no thank you, I'm sure he'll let me have a bite of his"
Her "well that's two cream teas for one then, you cant share"
Me: "oh no thank you I'm not very hungry"
Her: "no that's two cream teas. That way you get your own knife and your own plate"

She comes back with two scones on seperate plates and makes a great show of the fact that we've been given our own culterly. We get charged almost double what we wee planning to pay for an extra knife we didnt want and my drink was still extra! (I didnt want the hot drink, not that it ever arrived!).

It was all so awkward. But the weirdest thing is that some version of this pantomime played out for almost everyone who came in!

Went to a very nice restaurant recently which does sharing plates. One of the three of us allergic to peanuts. We specifically asked the waitress to recommend the dishes we ordered so that none had nuts. We start eating and we quickly realise two out of the four dishes have peanuts in them. Luckily friend is a rashy sweller, but that waitress literally could have killed her if she had been more allergic.

In a remote and very beautiful corner of Croatia we found their answer to Basil Fawlty. The menu consisted of fish or chicken. I was going to have fish but as I was ordering I changed my mind to chicken but I was told by the Croatian Basil Fawlty that I will be having fish because he has the best fish and I could have chicken anywhere. He was right, the fish was delicious. We went back the next night and he shrugged and said ' we have no food' so we said we will have whatever you have got and he brought out the most amazing array of food about 20 minutes later. His homemade bread was incredible and a Dutch lady on the next table asked how he made it and he looked at her with a very serious face and said 'I could tell you but you will never be able to make this bread! He was always busy because his food was delicious but he seemed really annoyed that he had customers.

DH had been raving about how great some gastropub in Windsor was as he had gone with some friends.
Back then DCs were small so we didn't get a night out often but my 30th was coming up so we got one of his sisters to babysit.

He booked a hotel near the place and I was excited as I'd been nowhere for ages due to small DC's.

We get to Windsor and first off the taxi driver got lost and then dumped us "next to the hotel". Except it wasn't anywhere near it.

Found hotel. It's nice on the outside. Inside is like a crackdown come prostitutes palace. They asked if we wanted to book the room for an hour at a time.

But not to worry, as are off for the lovely dinner.

Nope.

Got to pub. It's a mere 7pm. Pub shuts at 1am. Miserable git behind the bar tells us we best "hurry up" if we want food and "we have only got a few things left". I asked for fish and chips as you can't wrong with that.

It comes out by 7.15pm which is remarkably quick for fish and chips that's supposedly being cooked fresh. It very quickly became apparent it wasn't being cooked fresh. In fact, the fish was raw and frozen in the middle. The chips were raw as well

By this time I'm trying not to get upset as DH has put effort in here. He is cringing. It cannot get worse.

He goes to the bar and says we aren't paying for the meals as they are inedible to the point of food poisoning. Bar man gets angry.

Meanwhile, I'm sat at the table, behind me a woman has decided to drunkenly get up on little raised platform. She then fell off platform whilst holding a glass and a bottle of wine. Which smashed all up my legs, even my hair had shards in. She finds this hilarious. Barmaid goes to help her, also laughing. I'm left sat, covered in wine and glass, and theres blood running down several cuts on my leg as I had a dress on.

That's when I cried.

DH comes back through from the main bar to carnage. He is so angry and the barmaid hands me a single piece of kitchen paper towel. No apology and loads of anger as we walked out without paying for raw uncooked food and behaviour the likes of which you expect at 2am and not laughed at by the staff.

I ended up in a taxi home.

DH was gutted. Not surprisingly the gastropub went under not that long after.

Went to a small beachside cafe with DH (who was my boyfriend at that time). We had to order at the counter. I have been vegetarian for most my life and ordered a falafel wrap. When the food came out, I was given a chicken schnitzel roll. I very politely explained to the waitress (who had also taken our order at the till) that there must have been a mistake and that I had ordered the falafel wrap. She took the plate away without a word - presumably (I thought) to swap it for the correct order.

Next thing a woman comes flying up to our table saying she is the owner and that she heard me place the order and that I had DEFINITELY ordered the schnitzel roll - “I swear to god that’s what you ordered”. When I explained I was a vegetarian and there is no way I would have ordered a schnitzel roll she told me I was a liar and that she wasn’t going to swap my dish or give me my money back. I was quite young and timid so just sat there gobsmacked while she stormed off. I didn’t touch the roll (I couldn’t…as I am a vegetarian..!!!!) and DH and I slunk away feeling like criminals. It happened 15 years ago and still bothers me!

Remember one more, not bad but certainly memorable!
Mum and I (I was early-mid teens) went away for Xmas to an old Inn just south of the Lake District . Beautiful place, amazing food.
We'd just started having the Xmas lunch, when all the lights went out and there was a howl of rage/despair from the kitchen- total power cut, which stayed that way all through Xmas Day.

Somehow they still did the Xmas lunch meal, but then after that we all congregated in the pub bit, by candle-light, for the rest of the day for warmth as they had open fires. The owners literally filled an old metal pail with every bit of booze they could find, then we played trivial pusuit- I was quiz master- and every time someone got an answer wrong they had to have a drink of the 'punch'!

All we could eat for Xmas evening meal was the pub crisps! Everyone was slaughtered, bar me

Yes!! This is so similar to what I experienced with a ‘two for one cocktails’ but you can’t have one each, you have to order two each - which tbh we ignored but it’s a mad upsell, just let people order/eat/drink what they want!

A few years ago we stayed in a hotel in the Highlands. It all looked beautiful and the room was very nice but it became clear that 99% of their business was catering for coach parties.

In the dining room, they sat us right at one end, all alone, while the coach party folk were all at the other end. At least 2 coach-fuls of them. The food was awful - like bad school dinners. It was described in very posh terms but just didn't live up to it. I had 'roast pork with all the trimmings', thinking that would be a safe choice. It was a tiny portion of pork, incredibly thinly sliced, one potato, and a spoonful of peas. I asked where the trimmings were and the waitress rushed away and came back with a jar of apple sauce.

My dh asked for a glass of wine and they only had 'red or white', and they couldn't tell him what sort of wine it was. Mostly we found it funny but I have made a mental note never ever to go on a coach tour.

Second disaster: we went to a wedding. We were very much the least important people there (fair enough) and sat on the furthest table. The food was a hog roast...only they ran out of hog before they got to our table. We got plain bread rolls and a wisp of salad. On to dessert (waffles, strawberries and ice cream)...but they ran out of berries and ice cream, so we were offered a plain waffle (now cold). I declined but dh was ravenous so he forced one down. We bought fish and chips on the way home.

Third weird moment: we went for afternoon tea at a lovely hotel. We sat in the gorgeous lounge, the only customers at that point. The waiter took our order and then went over to a CD player and turned on the most awful discordant modern classical music, really loud. It was painful to listen to. When he brought the tea, we asked him to turn it off, or at least down. He refused, saying other customers liked to have music. We pointed out that there were no other customers. He pursed his lips and turned the music down very very slightly.

Two minutes later, a more senior member of staff came in and turned the music up. Dh asked him not to, and we got the speech about other customers liking it.

When he left, dh got up and turned the music off. Every time the waiter came in, he turned it back on, and every time we were alone, dh turned it off. Bizarre situation, and no other customers came in the whole time - perhaps they knew about the awful music! The food was great, but we've never been back.

Second disaster: we went to a wedding. We were very much the least important people there (fair enough) and sat on the furthest table. The food was a hog roast...only they ran out of hog before they got to our table. We got plain bread rolls and a wisp of salad. On to dessert (waffles, strawberries and ice cream)...but they ran out of berries and ice cream, so we were offered a plain waffle (now cold). I declined but dh was ravenous so he forced one down. We bought fish and chips on the way home.

I had the same. Including being on the least important table who got to go last. It was a barbecue rather than hog roast. But we had to negotiate as a table to divvy up a couple of sausages, one burger and a chicken drumstick between 10. It was awful.

Oh I’ve just thought of another - a very nice restaurant for ds1’s graduation, all very lovely in a beautiful old building. A bit of light classical music played quietly would have been perfect - instead they had a DJ standing in the corner playing disco classics (to be far, not at top volume otherwise I’d have furious) doing all his best Ibiza DJ moves. We couldn’t stop laughing 😂

I’ve been reminded of another. In a tourist town and went past a hotel that offered ‘afternoon tea’ for £8 or something. Along with a picture of scones and cakes.
waitress comes and takes our order for it, comes back with tea and a scone each, nothing else. Ends up in a row with waitress and then managed. Thing is, tea and a scone was listed as an item for £5, so why would be pay £8 for ‘afternoon tea’. Eventually they came and brought us a slice of cake and threw it at us.

This one got to court and 2 men were convicted. As I said, I knew the young woman and the restaurant. Anyone in Cheltenham in the 80s will probably remember it, it was a huge story.

I have been there with just one friend many times and it works fine. It's never been a problem. You order your food first and then you get a table. I've been to Vapiano in central London several times and have never had a problem with first ordering the food and then findning a table.

what nationality were they? Not that it matters, but I’d just love them to be on here and realise what despicable parents they are!

Years ago I went away for the weekend with a friend. We just got in the car and drove. Ended up at a little hotel in Dorset.

We went down to the restaurant for diner (in theses days I was vegetarian) and there was nothing suitable on the menu - everything came with meat.

I asked if there was another menu and was told 'no - you aren't a vegetarian, your just fussy, order something from the menu you have been given' as a 43 year old now, I'm enraged, but as a nervous 17 year old away from home for the first time I just said 'ok' I ordered the first thing I saw and when it came, put the meat on my friends plate. The server told me with great delight that the potato had been cooked in an animal fat, so I had carrots and broccoli for my tea that night!

I've had this!! I'm intolerant to cheese and asked for something (a kind of omelette/quiche) without cheese, they brought it to me and I cut into it and strings of melted cheese were clearly visible between the cut pieces, so I asked to send it back and they just argued with me that it wasn't cheese

Luckily not a serious allergy for me but it could have been serious for someone who did have one.

Another time I ordered a burger that didn't state cheese anywhere in the description and they brought it with cheese on.

Can I give a really good one too?

A mile down the road from me is a great little cafe. Lovely location with a great view. The chef has worked in Michelin starred restaurants and used to have his own restaurant but found it all too stressful so opened this little cafe. We go there a lot for breakfast or lunch. Sometimes they open in the evening for tapas. One evening we went along. We are both vegetarian and the chef likes the challenge. Everyone else was ordering off the menu, but not us. The chef told us that he had designed an entire menu for us as he wanted our opinion on the vegetarian dishes. He brought out loads of different tapas dishes personally and talked us through each one.
It was amazing and only cost about £15.

I once went to a large Italian chain restaurant with 2 friends (all women in their 20s, dressed in office wear, nothing unusual about us). We went at a bit of an odd time (around 4pm) and the place was empty except for 1 other couple must have been about 20-30 empty tables. Ask for a table to be told they don’t have any. I look around the empty room confused as the manager comes rushing over to tell us they are too busy to serve us.

We tried again about a month later, got seated and when ordering was told we had to order dessert with our mains and starters if we wanted any. Everything then arrived at once…starters, mains and desserts! We bemusedly ate and every time a plate was empty they’d snatch it away. I complained to HQ afterwards who sent us an apology and some vouchers. Tried a different branch with my DH with my share of the vouchers and got served cold, burnt (how?!) food. Haven’t set foot in one of them since.

@JoBrodie I hate Vapiano, really odd concept. Would work with cold/ready prepared options but not when cooking fresh pasta for each person one and a time. I once stood in a pasta queue for 40 mins whilst my husband had ordered his pizza and had finished it. I gave up in the end and when I mentioned it to a member of staff was told well what do you expect in a city. Erm, to not wait 40 mins to not eat?

Stayed in a fancy hotel in north wales and decided to eat in the dining room the first night.

Now me and DH are decidedly unfancy so were already a bit nervous about the formal dress requirement and the very fancy menu.

It was just so uncomfortable, everyone was talking in whispers and the server stood to the side of the table while we ate and had a teeny silver dustpan and brush that he used to sweep any bread crumbs off the table between courses.

We snuck a takeaway in the next night and ate it crossed legs on the bed in our pants. Keeping it classy 😂

I find that Vapiano only works if you each want to order something from the same station. Otherwise, you’re just queuing and eating separately. And it might all be ready at vastly different times - if one of you orders lasagne and the other salad, it’s just a bit silly.

or if you’re grabbing some lunch on your own, i guess. It’s ideal for that. Get your food, sit at a table to eat it and then leave, paying at the desk on the way out.

@FishcakesWithTooMuchCoriander - yes I can see it working in those scenarios. I would say though 40 mins and not getting to the front of the pasta queue, even eating on my own it has flaws as a concept!

Yes. I agree with that too. A 40 minute wait for lunch on your own is shit.

@SisterAgatha im sure theres only one pub with michelin star in this c9untry unless you were somewhere else-is it the one im thinking of hof?

In France, having made a detour to look at a semi-derelict chateau where the owner’s golden retriever greeted us with a teddy in his mouth 😍 we were just too late for the sacred hours of French lunch in Semur en Auxois, a beautiful mediaeval town that’s def. on the tourist trail. However we did find a cafe where they said they could still do us a croque monsieur, no problem.

However the waitress was so sulky and flouncy when taking orders - presumably because we’d infringed the sacred lunch-hours rule - that my French! sister in law was utterly disgusted and insisted that we walk out!

I was starving and dying for that CM, but SiL was determined to make a point.
We did find some cold ready made sandwiches somewhere, but they were a very poor substitute.