What's the worst/weirdest restaurant experience you've ever had?

[BruhWhy]

We once went into a very small, posh sandwichy sort of café for lunch with the kids. The vibe felt immediately off, we walked in and the loud, happy conversation the people working there were having abruptly stopped and it was suddenly just dead silent, we were the only customers in there but it was definitely open, I checked! They stopped what they were doing and kind of just stood there behind the counters and stared at us angrily as we situated ourselves, it was SO weird.

I ordered us all drinks and paninis, the woman taking my order didn't say a word to me, just wrote down what I ordered and pointed me back towards the table we were sitting at. The atmosphere was extremely tense throughout and they kept staring at us like we'd just come in and rubbed shit up their walls.

Food came, and as the server set a plate down in the middle of the table with sauces and stuff on it, the plate broke in two. Just cracked as she put it down. She saw it crack, paused for a second, then... walked off 😳

We ate in awkward silence while they stood behind the counter looking annoyed, and then left as quickly as we could. It was so fucking weird and I still think about it 5 years later because I just can't work out why they were acting so strange!

”Once in Chinatown in London waiter appeared, after we’d been served food, and told us we needed to move tables, grabbed our plates and marched us up 2 flights of stairs to another table.”

Was it Wong Kei, by any chance, @wonderstuff? It sounds like them!

Dh and I got engaged there, and he decided to go back there for his Stag do - and while they were there, another party came in, and wanted to push two tables together, so they could sit together, and the staff refused, point blank. It’s a Wong Kei thing - they don’t push tables together, and if you are in a small group, you will get bungee on a table with other diners. This group decided to push the tables together themselves - and Wong Kei’s staff threw them out.

Went to a fairly new restaurant in our town. It's quite small so only a few tables. The starter was delicious so we were really looking forward to the mains. I started to tuck into my dauphinois potatoes. The first mouthful was cold. I thought I'd try another just to be sure.

My fork hit the frozen solid middle of the portion, it shot off the plate and under the table opposite. The waitress was mortified and the owner came over to whisk our plates away. She came back a couple of minutes later to let us know the junior chef had put the ones on the plate that were thawing for the next day instead of the nice hot ones on the pass. She gave us a free glass of wine and a free after dinner spirit. We still laugh about it now and have been back to the restaurant a few times because it really is lovely.

Thin gammon and lack of parsley? Glad you’re not sweating the small stuff.

Why didn't you leave, op?
If someone chucked a broken plate towards me I'd get out of there.
Fucking weirdos that will be gobsmacked when their business fails.

@donttalkaboutbookclub that’s absolutely brilliant 😂

Having worked as a waitress in a fairly classy tearoom, changing a babies nappy on the table is unfortunately not as a rare occurrence as one would hope, and they also never almost never left a tip, unless you class a poop filled nappy as a tip, left on a table amongst the crockery and teapot.

Went for a cream tea in a small cafe in St Ives. There was a toilet cubicle in the corner of the dining area. Not down a corridor or anything, literally in the area where tables were. Everytime someone went in, you could see the toilet etc. It was very off-putting, especially hearing some bloke have a dump.

In France, DH and I went out for supper at a place recommended in Sawdays. Turned out the ‘restaurant’ was someone’s house, and we were the only diners. The host (also the chef and waitress) was lovely, and the food was delicious, but it was so weird! We sat at opposite ends of quite a long table and the lady hosting us child hear everything we said.

We used to live in Essex. One year, we were on our way to Scotland, with the children, for a holiday. Due to having some muppet with an overloaded trailer cause a crash on the A1, that badly damaged our car, we ended up having to stop in Newcastle overnight.

We went to the hotel restaurant, quite early, because the boys were starving, and as we walked in, there was just one other couple in the restaurant, and the woman dived behind her menu as soon as she saw us.

It turned out she worked with dh, in London, and was in Newcastle for an illicit weekend with the man she was seeing on the side. They had picked Newcastle because it was miles from their homes and her work, so they were pretty sure they wouldn’t see anyone they knew - and then in walks dh.

He didn’t say anything about it, when he got back to work, and neither did she.

These two incidents happened about 10–12 years ago. I was visiting a major city in the north of England frequently, typically staying with friends and dining out in their city centre neighbourhood a lot. At one naice restaurant, the following weird thing happened twice, about two years apart. Once I was with the wife and once I was with the husband, the other partner having an evening engagement.

I should preface this by saying that all three of us are quite respectable looking. None of us are fashion plates but we scrub up nicely and nothing like this has ever happened to me at much nicer restaurants. Nor was this one really all that trendy. Anyway.

Both times I made a booking for two. Both times, without request, we were seated at a table for four. Both times, as we were well into our starters, our server came over and asked in an overly plummy voice if we would mind very much moving to a table for two. The second time we were burdened with briefcases, etc as well as the paraphernalia from the table and the server did not even offer to help.

I don’t usually revel in the misfortunes of others but I wasn’t devastated when the restaurant closed. The one there now is higher rated and has a different owner.

@ForestofD that reminds me of when DH and I went for brunch to an upscale café and we all ordered Bloody Marys. I sipped mine and said I thought it tasted odd - everyone else said no, normal, including the waiter when I asked if there were any unusual ingredients. Halfway through the meal, he came back shamefacedly to admit that the bartender had accidentally put tequila in instead of vodka!
And then there was the Christmas meal where our waiter cut himself in the kitchen, fainted, and had to be taken to hospital...

DH and I went for dinner at a local pub, everyone we met raved about how amazing the food/service were.

I booked months in advance and was so looking forward to a night out. We had a 1 year old at home and I was 8 months pregnant at the time.

We arrived at the restaurant and it was packed.

We were shown to the smallest, most out of the way table they had. In a weird alcove. It was also a boiling hot day and there was no air flow at all in the corner we'd be stuck in.

We ordered drinks and waited, and waited...

After 30 minutes our drinks arrived. Warm where they'd been left in the bar for ages.

We ordered our food and again we waited. After an hour we flagged down a waitress who looked very flustered. Rather than being honest and saying she's forgotten our order she insisted it was just a moment away. So we waited some more.

While we were waiting the leg of my husbands chair broke and he fell on the floor 😂

Our food finally arrived all together. A stone cold starter and a burnt main.

We just got up and left.

Drove to the local Wagamama and ordered and ate with 20 minutes!

Our for a meal with a group of friends, the restaurant had a ‘buy one get one free’ deal on cocktails so me & a friend ordered that, planning to have one each then order another later.

The waiter tried to tell us we weren’t allowed to do that and one of us had to drink both drinks?! I told him I was paying and who drank the drinks wasn’t his concern.

Different place, pub serving food described as dog friendly, we went in with our dog.

We were asked to sit on a particular table/area because we had the dog and wanted to order food.

Then the bar staff complained the dog was too near the door for the kitchen - but they’d asked us to sit there and the other side of the table was the main entrance so if he sat there he was constantly jumping up & down with people coming in & out.

I was on a date with a guy I’d seen a few times, we’d arranged to go to a nice pub near me as the food is pretty good. We couldn’t meet until about 8 but I thought that would be ok, as it was only pub grub and we’d get served quite quickly.

Anyway we ordered a bottle of red, ordered some food and we both wanted steak. It was their burger and steak night menu - a sort of weekly themed special.

Well we sat there and sat there. Everyone around us was having their burgers brought out, they looked and smelled lush. No sign of our food. We asked a few times where our food was, oh it’s on its way they kept saying.

Well it got to about half past nine, we’d finished a bottle and still no food. By this time I’m a bit pissed especially as I hadn’t eaten since lunchtime, and so hungry I’d have eaten the barman.

Finally our steaks arrived, they weren’t great - we reckoned the chef had cooked them ages ago, put them under the warmer and forgot about them. I had to mop the wine up though so ate some, and ate all of the fries and salad but we were a bit drunk and strangely got stupidly giggly about the shit food. The waitress came to do the “how is your food” thing and we said actually it’s crap, but couldn’t stop laughing. She must have thought we were bonkers.

We then called them over to ask for the bill and said you really don’t expect us to pay for those steaks do you? Happily paid for the wine and desserts, but wasn’t going to pay forty quid for two mostly inedible mains.

DH and I went to a dim sum restaurant in Australia, the kind where they have baskets on steam trollies and walk around. The food was delicious but we'd only had a couple of trollies pass by when two of the waitresses kicked off a big, shouty fight and all the other staff stopped wheeling their trollies to get involved. It was fascinating for a bit until we finished what we had and wanted some more. Eventually a manager came along and sent one of the fighting women to the back and made the rest of them continue serving. DH speaks a little Cantonese but not enough to understand what the fight was about.

I lived in Berlin for a bit and there were great sushi restaurants. One of them seemed to be under the thumb of some dubious Russian mafia type. He had a preferred table so whoever was sitting at that table when he and his crew turned up would have their food taken away and packaged up and then they and their food would be shoved out the door.

Oh my god that reminds me!!

About 20 years ago, backpacking in Thailand, sitting in some bar with a mate having drinks.

Kept feeling something on my shoulder/back, flicked something off and realised it was a bloody cockroach… looked up at the ceiling and it was teeming with them, it was absolutely disgusting- we ran off!!

Place with 2 michelin stars in France. When we went through the curtains at the entrance about 10 people pounced upon us, took coats, pulled out chairs etc, and presented us each with a yorkshire pudding! (along with bread, cheese straws...). It was very nice indeed but I feared they'd missed the point. After that DH had lobster bisque that involved a bunsen burner. I can't remember what I had apart from there were about 20 puddings. We considered it an experience not to repeat.

So many....

The one with my now DH, a Thai place, where they managed to throw not one, not two, but three of the plates of food/drinks over us at separate points.

The one with my Mum, an Italian restaurant, where all the staff/chefs/manager were having an almighty, gesticulating, in-and-out the kitchen row to the horror of all the diners. Mum spoke Italian so did a live translation for me.

The one with Dad and Stepmum in France. Beautiful place, Loire Valley. All had soup to start, which had one clam/mussel on the top. Dad got the dodgy one and spent all night puking. We were staying there too, and in the morning, my Stepmum, who is fluent in a range of languages, was trying to point out that poisoning should equal not paying for that bit of the meal. The chef/owner instead denounced the weakness of English stomachs and so began an hour and a half debate!

Weirdly, they're just off the top of my head, can think of many more

Ooh! What was this place called?!

In a pub waiting for food and the landlord stood on the middle of the room to apologize to everyone that there would be a wait for dinner, as the chef's brother was on the phone and as he was calling from prison chef had to take the call. They didn't get talk often.

In Reykjavik we'd waited a long time for our meals so I asked where they were. They'd forgotten to make them and closed the kitchen! To be fair they did reopen the kitchen and cook our food which we didn't get charged for.

MardyBra

GETTINGLIKEMYMOTHER
Ages ago - ordered a gammon steak and when it came, it was just marginally thicker than usual bacon. No way a gammon steak.
Dd1 - then about 12 - was hideously embarrassed when I complained, but I wasn’t going to put up with

Thin gammon and lack of parsley? Glad you’re not sweating the small stuff.

MardyBra
But a slice of bacon is generally not as thick as a gammon steak

We went for a pub meal and the only free table was under the TV set, which was off when we sat down. Soon after our food arrived they turned the telly on which was showing a football match featuring the local team, everyone else in the place turned to watch it so we very self-consciously ate our meal with a roomful of people staring in our direction.

About 25 years ago, we were in Milan. For some reason, and I can't remember why, we ended up in a Chinese restaurant.
I am vegetarian, so had learnt a few words, and had my english-italian dictionary with me.

But, just our luck, the waiters only seemed to speak Chinese.
So there I was, trying to tell them in my dreadful Italian that I did not want meat.
They didn't understand. So I resorted to pointing to the words in the dictionary.

They still didn't understand as they could not read Italian.

Finally I chose something that appeared from the description appeared to be suitable.

Only to find it had bacon bits sprikled on top.

Finally found a waiters that I could communicate with, but he was totally baffled as to why I wanted another dish with no bacon on it. It just seemed like an alien concept to him.

I think I ended up with plain rice that evening.