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Original poster

Drunk neighbour is locked out of her apartment...

56 replies

smooththecat · 09/07/2022 00:42

I need your advice please.
She's locked out of her flat and is in the entryway to our apartments.
Very drunk, not making much sense.
Adamant that she won't allow me to call her dad, or a locksmith. She says dad lives around the corner.
She's sleeping on the stairs, I've put a blanket out there, a bucket, and a cup of tea. Is there anything else I should be doing?
I don't really know her. She showed up with a guy, but he got upset when I asked if she was safe with him, they argued a bit and he's gone. She can't remember that he was here.
I considered calling the police on 101, but probably not the right thing to do.

OP posts:
JemimaPuddlegoose · 09/07/2022 03:50

Saying call 101 is easier said than done.

When my house was burgled I called 101 and waited for over an hour before finally giving up and hanging up. They just don't answer if it's busy, which it likely would be on a Friday night during a heatwave.

On google, it says the waiting time for 101 to be answered can be as long as three hours!

Make sure the man is gone and can't get back in. Maybe try her dad again. You've really done all you can do.

Flangelica · 09/07/2022 05:38

She could have been spiked. She could choke to death on jer own vomit. She could be raped. Call the police.

SurpriseSurprise · 09/07/2022 05:43

Did you close the main door?

she may well be feeling embarrassed this morning so go easy on her!!! Hope everything was quiet through the night

Yerroblemom1923 · 09/07/2022 05:43

Is she still there, OP?

Musti · 09/07/2022 05:46

You’ve done all you can (barring inviting her into your house). Hope she’s ok and you manage to get some sleep

ChickenOfTheSea · 09/07/2022 06:19

I would have let her sleep on my sofa. She's drunk inside her own building it's not a police matter.

DrFlorence · 09/07/2022 06:25

It isn't a police matter unless she's causing a disturbance, particularly in a public area. It's not really a general public area. Well done for questioning the man with her, if he was decent he would have stayed with her or found a way to help.

Water, sick bowl blanket... check on her in a few hours. You tried ringing her Dad.
I'd try again when she's a bit more sober as she'll need him to let her in her flat.
I doubt she will remember much of this tomorrow.

MrsRobinsonsHandprints · 09/07/2022 06:33

Flangelica · 09/07/2022 05:38

She could have been spiked. She could choke to death on jer own vomit. She could be raped. Call the police.

The police don't respond to happenings, let alone could haves. Seriously what would you expect them to do.

Also makes me laugh how many people jump to spiking and how many people claim to have been spiked, it is a dangerous assumption as it negates the role alcohol has played. It is quite was to get that drunk, to not remember anything, or what you are doing etc on just alcohol.

Kittykat93 · 09/07/2022 06:59

Why do people always come on these threads and talk about spiking? Sounds like she was just really hammered - it may seem unusual to some but I've seen it happen many times and when younger had loads of occasions where I'd get pissed and have complete black out loss of memory and not know what on earth was going on. It doesn't always have to be something sinister going on

Pollydonia · 09/07/2022 07:05

I think technically it is a police matter, my SIL in the UK was arrested for her own safety when drunk, taken to the cells to sleep it off, cant remember what the charge was but she received a telling off in the morning for putting herself in danger ( she was by a canal )

OverTheRubicon · 09/07/2022 07:15

Also makes me laugh how many people jump to spiking and how many people claim to have been spiked, it is a dangerous assumption as it negates the role alcohol has played. It is quite was to get that drunk, to not remember anything, or what you are doing etc on just alcohol.

Agree with this. Quite a few of my friends tell stories of the times they 'got spiked' when those of us who were there remember that they spent the night doing shots/doubles and were hammered. I've never known one spiking story where the woman had actually had just 1/2 drinks - I trust they do happen, just think it's dangerous to ignore the role of alcohol and teach our daughters to cover their drinks more than keep track of the actual number (especially when 'friendly' blokes keep buying you more of them).

Hope the neighbour ended up ok, and agree that if it happens again 101 is probably the right call, she might be drunk but could also have had other drugs (voluntarily or not) or a medical condition.

TwoLeftSocksWithHoles · 09/07/2022 07:29

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

Or put the bucket over her head and draw a smiley face on it. Take photos as above etc. etc.

Note: works best with yellow bucket.

TheBikiniExpert · 09/07/2022 07:34

Any updates OP? FWIW ask yourself if you'd feel safe sleeping in the stairwell. If the answer is no, don't leave her.

MrsTerryPratchett · 09/07/2022 17:45

@smooththecat let us know what happened!

Trinity65 · 09/07/2022 18:24

Not that it makes much of a difference but is it an Apartment in a converted House set up ? Big front door, square entrance and then the door to enter the apartments ? How many Apartment's are there OP.

WhackingPhoenix · 09/07/2022 18:53

MrsRobinsonsHandprints · 09/07/2022 06:33

The police don't respond to happenings, let alone could haves. Seriously what would you expect them to do.

Also makes me laugh how many people jump to spiking and how many people claim to have been spiked, it is a dangerous assumption as it negates the role alcohol has played. It is quite was to get that drunk, to not remember anything, or what you are doing etc on just alcohol.

Show quote history

Oh yep, spiking is hilarious Confused

The fact that the man scarpered after OP appeared is very suspicious and I suspect he had nefarious intentions.

Whether spiked or just blind drunk, she wouldn’t have been able to consent in that state and I don’t think he went home with her to play a game of Scrabble.

Floraanddougal · 09/07/2022 19:01

I also don’t understand the assumption she was spiked, it’s much more plausible she’s just wankered.

IrisM22 · 09/07/2022 19:03

I had this problem frequently with my next door neighbour in a block of flats I used to live in. Absolute pain in the bollocks. She'd come back so drunk she could hardly stand and had no way of getting into her flat, having lost her bag each time. Was awoken by her or some random dude she'd met trying to kick her door in many times. I always phoned 101 as although she was an absolute pain in the arse, she was also vulnerable. My sympathy stopped for her when she tried to kick my door in at 4am (not mistaking it for hers, but drunkenly thinking her boyfriend was in our house, never even met the guy!) When I was seven months pregnant.
Anyway, hope it all worked out and your neighbour is ok. If it happens more than once though I'd have a word with her.

MrsRobinsonsHandprints · 09/07/2022 22:12

Floraanddougal · 09/07/2022 19:01

I also don’t understand the assumption she was spiked, it’s much more plausible she’s just wankered.

No whacking I was being serious.
The post I've quoted is most likely true. There is a narrative at the moment where if someone does something particularly bad/is completely fucked etc after drinking it must be that the drink was spiked. Therefore passing the blame from alcohol and the volume drunk.

Alcohol is a drug, it can make you do all the things that the op has listed and worse. The man is just as likely (more likely even) to have taken advantage of a drunk woman than he is to have spiked her (for the record whatever method he uses it is, and always is, only the man's fault if he takes advantage, I am not and will not victim blame, a woman should be able to make poor choices without a man taking advantage)

But we do need a more honest talk about the effects of alcohol, and to be able to own the choices that we make.

PleaseGoDontGoAgain · 09/07/2022 22:51

WhackingPhoenix · 09/07/2022 18:53

Oh yep, spiking is hilarious Confused

The fact that the man scarpered after OP appeared is very suspicious and I suspect he had nefarious intentions.

Whether spiked or just blind drunk, she wouldn’t have been able to consent in that state and I don’t think he went home with her to play a game of Scrabble.

Show quote history

Or he knew her and got her drunk arse home safely and was sick of it by the time someone asked if he was safe to be around her so he effed off and left her in the care of a neighbour.

ByeByeBoree · 09/07/2022 23:44

Could be anything but you wouldn't want him hanging around.

Agree that most "drink spiking" is generally just drunkenness. The majority of people won't waste good drugs on a stranger.

TheWheeledAvenger · 10/07/2022 15:48

The only cases of spiking I know about personally have been where someone had one drink, or was only drinking soft drinks. What's the point of spiking someone who's already blackout wasted?

allboysherebutme · 10/07/2022 22:33

I'd call 999 better safe than sorry. X

Yerroblemom1923 · 11/07/2022 06:25

Please tell me she's safely in her own flat now?!

TheSoundOfLunch · 11/07/2022 06:30

She may of course choke on her own vomit and die in the hallway.

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