We very soon won’t be able to afford our life

[WhatsHoppening]

We have a high mortgage, high childcare costs which thankfully will reduce but still wraparound. With our mortgage term ending in December and the increase in gas and electric, food costs, petrol and the increase in mortgage when we remortgage on a higher rate we will not be able to afford to live. Our outgoings will outstrip our income. We are both professionals, I work part time (4 days) and there’s no hope of DC getting into after school club on my day off (and realistically after childcare I bring in less than £100 pcm per extra day worked after childcare). I feel sick. I keep getting told by my parents and grandparents we will get through it but how?! My grandparents were post war so it was hard but my gran could be a SAHM for 3 kids on a my grandads teacher salary. This is a pipe dream for us now and DH earns more than a NQ teacher. Just a rant- lots have it much worse. But I’m scared for the future.

I'm likely similar age to your parents or at least a similar stage in life. I and most of my friends are finding ways of financially helping our adult children now, when they need it, rather than them have it when we die. That's Hopefully a long way off yet but by then the children will be better established and need it less. Plus we get the pleasure of seeing the money help them now. I am sure your parents would want to help you again, at least while your childcare costs are so high.

(I know not everyone has parents able to help them, I'm sorry - but OP does have parents who could hence the suggestion)

OP - I was fiercely independent and never had money from my parents so appreciate it's difficult to ask. But as a parent, I would absolutely want to help my adult children and would be devastated if I found out later then had struggled and not asked x

Not sure if you saw my previous post: see if you have clothes/toys etc you could sell. Might only be a little here and there but it mounts up. My goddaughter does this, absolutely amazing how much she has generated and she uses it for days out and treats which she couldn't afford otherwise.

OP, you say your parents are very wealthy and that you are in a crunch point, where things are likely to be as tight as they will be for some years. Soon there will be financial relief, both in terms of outgoings (lesser childcare fees) and incomings (you and your husband both making more money).

I'm going to say something slightly unpopular, that I say only because you mentioned your parents' situation: I think you should talk to your parents. Would, say, £5,000 be very likely to make a difference to them? If they're very wealthy, I imagine not. It would make the world of difference to you.

There is no shame in family helping family. Think of it this way: if you were very wealthy, and your child, whom you love so much, was struggling, wouldn't you want to help her?

I say this as a child of wealthy parents, from a wealthy family. When I was starting out, my father gave me £300/month to help with rent, which was the difference between living in a decent neighborhood and having a couple nights with friends a month versus struggling. It made me squirm to accept it and it made me feel guilty. Until he said that to force him to watch me struggle and not enjoy life while he had the means to help (a means that was in no way a stretch for him, and that he would barely notice) wasn't being independent or noble, it was a bit cruel. I was working hard in a good job, just in an introductory role--I wasn't a layabout, nor was I greedy or feckless. That £300 meant the world to me.

It also helped to think of this: he said that he'd rather give me money now than leave it to me when he died, that people need more help in their 20s/30s than their 60s, and that he wanted me to enjoy life while I could.

I think we're taught to be self-sufficient and proud. That is good. But we are also families who love each other and who work towards the same goal: each other's happiness. I don't know your parents circumstances, and I don't know your relationship with them. But I realised I had been seeing things from my own perspective (a child determined to be independent from her parents) and not from his own (a father who actually delighted in helping his children and watching them be happy).

Sorry you are going through this OP. I think you were given poor advice re the mortgage / stretching yourself financially. You always need a buffer plus savings for unexpected things/ price rises. I think you have been a bit naive and wanted everything all at once rather than making sure you were in a comfortable position financially first. But you are not the first or last to be in this position, sadly.

Personally I would look at restructuring your mortgage and cutting back on absolutely everything else. I know you say you have done everything but is that really true? You need to factor in absolutely everything. Can you do simple swaps for foods? Could grandparents do one day childcare to cut nursery costs or could you come to a childcare arrangement with a friend who has similar age children? Do you actually need the car? Have you been to any money advice services who would be able to look at your incomings and outgoings? Do you have any debt? If you are really stuck you need to sell your house and move into a smaller place / different area. And do it before the children start school.

@WhatsHoppening I have seen no lecturer vacancy in the Arts for years without a PhD as a minimum threshold and most ask for worldclass publications that can be entered into the REF, often a double weighted monograph. The only way there is entry to a permanent Lecturer role in the Arts, without even a Masters, is with substantial professional experience as a journalist, published author (literary not academic without a PhD), film-maker, choreographer, professional dancer/actor, well known photographer, etc.

If you are working for a university you should be due an increment in August (worth about £900) plus the 3.5%(ish) cost of living increase proposed by UCEA although that may be backdated as the unions have rejected the offer so far. Even if your institution isn't on the national contract it's likely to closely mirror it.

I'd be very interested to know which university hired you and which modules/programmes you work across.

@WhatsHoppening I’m not sure if anyone has mentioned this as I haven’t read the full thread but if your rate is coming to end in Dec then please start looking for new rates now. Most mortgage offers last for 6 months so if you secure the rate now, you might avoid the high ones that will follow. Good luck OP. It’s totally shit.

Different things here - most mortgage are for 30-35 years. You should extend up to age 70 which will lower repayment and overpay. Fix for 5-10 years and overpay

The other side is your jobs. Is your contract permanent, can you rely on it or not? If you don't even have a Masters do it. If you are in the art, then no you don't need a PhD but you do need to have strong practice and experience. Presumably you partner will earn more and can increase wages through promotions

Also if you only have a mortgage u til you are 61, then you have not overstretched yourself financially. People who are overstretched are those whose mortgage runs until they are 70. So in your case, you actually really haven't and presumably if your term is so short then you can stretch it like everyone else and not be overstretched. Hoe much debt do you have? And if you really are overstretched which you aren't - learn from what people did in the 90s i.e. interest only mortgages. Not something you need to worry about now as you are not overstretched but to remember for the future. When banks ask for how you pay it off, telling them you will sell the asset i.e. house is still seen as acceptable. So relax and you are fine!!!!!

Thank you very safe advice.
Yes it’s permanent- I’m only a year off completing my masters and have been doing lots of extra stuff to bolster promotions (publications, speaking at conferences etc) so I hope I have scope to earn more although the ceiling is relatively low. DH works hard and does long hours and has scope to earn more.
As others have said it does just feel like a real pinch point in life but hopefully it will improve.

Sage not safe!

Just add 10 years on your mortgage (i.e. like everyone else at your age) and you will not be at a crunch point! Yes, you overpay but this gets you over the difficult years. Extending terms allows you flexibility i.e you have money then you overpay, you don't- you just do the minimum.

C'mon you're a boomer, mn knows you never suffered, had a huge house in your 20s,no money worries ever. And it's your fault personally that millennials can't buy a house
Be honest. 😂
/sarcasm

And do your MA. That is the minimum requirement in your job. I was just looking at UAL jobs this morning. An MA is the minimum esp. for a senior lecturer so do it

Is it an adjunct or temporary position or a teaching assistant type role? I’m sorry but landing a Lectureship with an undergraduate degree is not possible. I’m a professor and sit on numerous hiring panels, the opening criteria for entry lectureships is PhD handed in - awaiting viva as the minimum. Some arts colleges accept PhD candidates. But UG and doing a masters? Nope. There’s something that isn’t adding up here.

Also it appears you say you are in gynaecology/fertility but here you say you’re in the arts doing a lectureship with a UG degree? Which is it?

Not entirely true. If you do the arts i.e. photography, design, etc etc etc you only need an MA. for a SL. A mate works at Saint Martins as a SL and only has an MA E.g.ual.tal.net/vx/lang-en-GB/mobile-0/appcentre-1/brand-1/xf-2e244832901e/candidate/so/pm/6/pl/1/opp/8413-Lecturer-in-Fashion-Management-Brand-Management/en-GB

When I started it my title was tutor, I’ve since then completed my fellowship, being published, slowly taken on senior roles such as taking on academic advisees and LEAP mentorship and recently was promoted to lecturer. I am 2 years into my masters with around a year left (piecing it together module by module).

Which is not to say that OP has 'changed her job

@WhatsHoppening I thought you were looking for a nursing position a couple of months ago?

A job has come up as a band 7 ANP which I meet all the criteria for other than it’s not in my area of expertise. I’ve done gynae then family planning (contraception) for 6 years and this is in fertility. However I have a lot of transferable knowledge, meet virtually all the criteria and have many of the training courses they request.
Would you apply? Is there any hope? I’m confident I would be able to gain the necessary knowledge fairly quickly as I’m interested and would put the time in to learn but thinking I may be written off due to lack of experience in that area.

This was for a friend (the same friend as before!) I am going to start NC when I post of others I appreciate it is confusing. Please take this recent post at face value- it is my current situation.

I guess the information and advice that people have taken time to post in good faith will be useful to many people ......

@burninglikefire i appreciate your cynicism but all the comments and advice have been a godsend and incredibly helpful. I’ve contacted the online mortgage broker that was recommended and will be taking on board all the advice. I always take posters at face value rather than combing through past posts as I assumed others my post on others behalf too! I will NC in future though.

Just to back you up OP not all universities are equal. I worked for an FE college and they were partnered to a university and many, many of their lecturers on their HE courses had only an undergraduate degree themselves. Quite often in a totally unrelated course.

Has your DH asked for a rise or looked for a better paying job? QS's are in short supply so he should be able to do something. Also could he do some freelance surveying.

We have a whole generation maybe 2 generations who have only ever known stupidly low interest rates and easily available credit at stupidly low rates .
It was never really sustainable for ever although it’s been a long period .

Now we have the perfect storm - interest rates going up along with inflation and then the cost of living going through the roof .

if the rates go up to say 6percent the house prices should come down as very few could afford to buy at the high prices and high interest rates

low house price - high interest rates
high house price - low interest rates

The shit hits the fan when you have high house prices and high interest rates -

However I have no doubt our stupid government will do everything possible to keep the houses prices high even if it means people lose their homes or can’t afford to live
They will bring out lifetime mortgages or some shit to keep the prices up

I think the govt will do everything they can to avoid interest rates going beyond about 3%, which in the grand scheme of things is still incredibly low. But I can see that if for the whole of your adult life, interest rates have been mostly < 1%, even this seems a shock.