Worst accidental insult you've had?

[ImJustMadAboutSaffron]

I'm massively busy just now and on the train yesterday I was going through everything in my head, sort of a planning conversation with myself. A woman opposite asked if I was ok and when I asked why she said I was nodding my head a lot. Clearly answering myself in my head! We laughed about it and a woman across the aisle said "when you get to our age you start talking to yourself." I asked what her age was and she said 64.

I'm 42.

No, the woman opposite me was in her 20s!

I lost a large amount of weight and went from obese to underweight. My middle sister thinking she was being nice “oh I am definitely the fat sister now, thanks Ruby”.

A beautiful turquoise dragonfly landed on me in the garden and I was feeling like a Disney princess until DD noticed and announced ‘wow, you must be really sweaty.’

I was impressed with her remembering that they’re attracted to the salt in our sweat but it did sort of dampen the moment.

My favourite was after I’d had a long talk with DS (4) about how commenting on people bodies wasn’t polite. We were in the bath together and he gave me a long appraising look then, pleased as punch with himself for remembering, said “I do not say people are fat”.

2 months postpartum after DC1, struggling to get back into shape, knackered from EBF. Bumped into a friend of DMs whilst walking baby in the pram down to the shops. "Congratulations! When's the baby due? You're brave to have 2 babies so close together! Was it an accident?"
I was not pregnant, just still had a postpreg tummy. I was gobsmacked and went home and cried!

I should have decked her instead!

Sil to me: "Are you still doing x hobby? Oh you are, that's lovely, I'm so pleased you have something to do with your time. Do you think you've got better at it?"

I said that well, actually, I'm a judge at competitions now...

Last week I was the only person to turn up to my martial arts class so it ended up as a personal training session.

It's about a year since I started doing it and after the session, I was telling the trainer how much confidence it'd given me and that I felt much fitter.

He was heaping praise: My technique is excellent, I've improved a thousand fold, I look fitter, I've got more stamina, I hold myself with confidence/attitude, I'm dedicated, I always push myself.

I was beaming inside and out.

Then he went: "All absolutely brilliant, for a woman of your age".

Reader: I am in my mid-30s 💀

In a group of friends, a guy says "whenever I call a woman honey or sweetie it's because I don't think she's important and I don't remember her name". Half an hour later talking to me "bla bla bla...honey. bla bla bla Sweety"

Was in a car accident, lady called the paramedics. I heard her say- "ooh, maybe mid 40s? Can't be much older than that.." I was 36, and perhaps it was all the mascara running ugly crying I was doing, but I hear that in my head all the time now!

I absolutely love this!

I’m guessing dressage?

While working in a public-facing role I had been asked out a couple of times that week ( had declined ) someone I worked with occasionally said I must have been looking pretty available.

A man frantically trying to get the bar man’s attention to buy my round of drinks before I pay for it… bar man explains my round is paid for. Man promptly appears telling me I am a ringer for Celine Dion! This does not go down well with me. But she’s so skinny and pointy and oh god please would you stop my date will hear you… don’t put that thought in his head, I say… “yes but she’s a lovely SINGER!” he goes.

rest of night cue me avoiding his beady eyes as he has convinced himself I possibly AM celine dion.. and wishing and praying for him to disappear and not say something my date then can’t unsee…

never been told before or after that I look like her!!

At my wedding, my 3 yr old nephew kept asking where I was before I walked up the aisle. When I had walked up, he could be heard very loudly telling his Nan that 'That's not oobee up there ! That's a LADY in a white dress !'

I used to work in a pregnancy centre.

I walked into one of the dr's offices to ask him a question about the next patient he was about to see and when I started talking he gestured for me to sit down next to him and take off my cardigan. I thought, hmmm, odd, but accepted the nice gesture.

About halfway into the conversation the look on his face changed completely.

He thought I was the 24 week pregnant woman I was talking about. I was a size 6 and absolutely not pregnant at the time but in all fairness I'd just eaten lunch. Safe to say I never wore that blouse and skirt combination ever again.

I definitely saw the funny side and I'm laughing typing this out now actually

DH said to me yesterday when I was being somewhat distracted 'god you are exactly like your son' ....which son ? I asked .... 'the vacuous pot of ether' (fair description- he lives in his own little parallel universe most of the time).....
Um.... thanks !!!!

No, horticulture-related.

I remember having chat with DS when he was about three as he’d been drawing on the walls with crayons again after being told not to. I patiently explained that we only draw on paper and he turned round and said ‘go away you nappy changer’. That told me.

There was two of us at work who shared the same first name. If it was your birthday, it was usually written up on the board in the staffroom. It was the other “Jim’s” birthday. At break time a few of us were having a coffee, someone came in and said “oh I didn’t know it was your birthday, happy birthday Jim!” Before I could say anything, my lovely colleague said “No, not that Jim, it’s Pretty Jim’s birthday”
Brutal.

Picking youngest up from school one day .
"Poppy was asking why granny was picking me up from school ?"
Me-in a rush and not realising where this was going "Why did she say that ?..your granny is in Scotland "
Serious stare of pity from 6 year old -
"She meant you -she thinks you are my granny "😂

😱

I work in education support and we're told not to avoid using everyday sayings like "my feet are killing me" to someone in a wheelchair or "do you see what I mean?" to a person with sight difficulties etc so I wouldn't be embarrassed if I said some of the PP comments

When I worked in a pub, really seemingly nice bloke was laying it on thick. He was hot too - my type on paper. He was going on about how pretty he thought I was etc.
Then threw in about how it’s such a shame when you see a beautiful woman who’s ruined herself with tattoos.
I promptly removed the flannel shirt I was wearing, to reveal my heavily tattooed arms 😂 and said “Guess I’m not pretty anymore then” 🤷🏻‍♀️😂

During lockdown I was asked by my headteacher to put together a series of activities for the whole infant school to have as home learning for my subject, I was pretty pleased with what I'd managed to come up with until one of the TAs in school commented on the "utterly mind-numbing activities" the headteacher had uploaded. I said "No that was me" she pressed on saying "No, no, not your class activities, the ones for the whole school" I had to say "Yep, still me"

A Sicilian old school charmer sidled up to me at a café Bar and said: "I bet you were Bellisima when you were young" 😶