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Original poster

DCs refusing to go on scouts camp this weekend...what to do?

44 replies

DataColour · 07/07/2022 16:57

Don't know how to handle this....bit of advice would be appreciated.

DS 13, announced yesterday that he wants to go out with his friends all-day on Sat to celebrate his best friend's birthday . Says he doesn't want to go camping because of this and also because none of his scout friends are going on this camping trip and it'll be boring. As we can't force him to go DH and I said ok.

Now DD 11 is refusing to go because it transpires that her friend from scouts not going. She is not that sociable and is only friends with this one girl really.

What to do??! We've already paid £35 per child. It's not the money so much butDH and I hardly ever get a child free day, can count on one hand. So was really looking forward to it....argh!!

OP posts:
NervousFlyer2022 · 07/07/2022 17:01

If you're allowing your son to skip it then you can't really make your daughter do it either - at this point I'd probably just resign yourself to the fact that it's not going to happen but make sure they both know that you'll need a good reason to pay for treats and outings in the future. Could they pay towards the trip costs from savings or pocket money? Just as a sort of consequence.

Dogsaresomucheasier · 07/07/2022 17:02

If you’ve paid they have to go. They have made a commitment to be in scouts, you’ve supported it. They need to honour it. (I’m also finding I approve of scout friends more than party friends in general, but maybe that’s me being a bit of a snob.)

TokyoSushi · 07/07/2022 17:03

DS is only 11 but it's kind of growing out of Scout Camp already, I can't see it lasting very much longer.

I don't think there's very much you can do...

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Summerofcontent · 07/07/2022 17:04

I wouldn't be letting ds go to his friends birthday day out though.

If he doesn't want to go to scout camp then he shouldn't go to anything else.

Original poster
DataColour · 07/07/2022 17:09

It was a hard decision to allow DS to miss camp. He's missed lots of outings with friends recently because of cricket matches he's played in.
Yeah, perhaps we were too quick to agree to him missing out on the camp

OP posts:
GerryAtrick · 07/07/2022 17:09

I think they are old enough to understand that they will have to pay back the costs of the camping trip. So do so.

Original poster
DataColour · 07/07/2022 17:10

They don't get any pocket money!

OP posts:
HSKAT · 07/07/2022 17:11

Sad for you not getting your child free time but you can't force them and ofc can't make one go when the other isn't.

JellyBabiesSaveLives · 07/07/2022 17:11

I give ds the choice when it’s time to sign up for a scouts activity. Once we’ve agreed and paid, that’s it (barring illness and genuine anxiety I suppose). He’s learnt to confer with friends and make sure some are going too before he signs up!

skyeisthelimit · 07/07/2022 17:12

If they don't go then they shouldn't be allowed to do something else instead, they need to understand about commitment and paying for stuff even at their age.

SnowyLamb · 07/07/2022 17:16

I wouldn't have let the first one cancel, but as you have you can't say no to the second.

They've made a commitment to their fellow scouts and the leaders who are giving up their free time to organise this and you're concern is that you've lost your very cheap babysitter?

itsgettingweird · 07/07/2022 17:33

DataColour · 07/07/2022 17:10

They don't get any pocket money!

So who is funding the party day out?

There's no way I'd be forking out for camp and a day out when one is wasted money.

Ylvamoon · 07/07/2022 17:35

I would sit them down and have a stern conversation about commitment and if they decide to do something, they have to stick to it.
I would them let off this time, with the understanding that it's a one off.

ImJustNotMeAnymore · 07/07/2022 17:42

Let them both not go. Camp is bloody miserable if your friend isn't there, especially if you struggle with just getting along.

cantheydothisreally · 07/07/2022 17:50

I would negotiate with your child and explain that you understand however as you have already paid they must go. But this will be the last time 😊

Aroundtheworldin80moves · 07/07/2022 17:50

Why did they want to go originally?

Don't send them if they will be miserable and create extra work, but I would do something to make them appreciate what £70 in real terms. That could a families food budget for a week

And tell the leaders ASAP so they have time to shuffle around arrangements as much as possible.

Clymene · 07/07/2022 18:05

Did they want to go in the first place or were they going because you think scouts is good for them?

00100001 · 07/07/2022 18:24

DataColour · 07/07/2022 17:10

They don't get any pocket money!

But he's spending all day with his friends on Saturday?

Who's paying for his food/drinks? Who's getting him there? Confused

IGotItInTheSales · 07/07/2022 18:26

Don't blame them!

Scouts? They surely outgrow all that by 8 or 9!

GoldenSongbird · 07/07/2022 18:32

There's no point discussing whether you should have let them cancel or not because you've already done it. Once you let your DS drop out, you have to let your DD drop out too.
I don't really understand what your question is. If you want a day alone with your DP, then you just need to find someone to take your DD for the day since your DS is going out with his friends. Confused

00100001 · 07/07/2022 18:32

IGotItInTheSales · 07/07/2022 18:26

Don't blame them!

Scouts? They surely outgrow all that by 8 or 9!

...scouts is 10-14.
And goes up to 25.

Anyway, there's no need to be so sneery.

There's around 130,000 scouts 10-14

OneFrenchEgg · 07/07/2022 18:34

Did they want to go? I'm definitely guilty of signing the dc up to stuff without checking first.
Plus it's obvious parents will be finding the birthday day out if they don't give pocket money - not sure why at 11 and 13 that's a surprise. We've always done an allowance but I know lots of parents who just give cash when needed.

CornishTiger · 07/07/2022 18:34

Dogsaresomucheasier · 07/07/2022 17:02

If you’ve paid they have to go. They have made a commitment to be in scouts, you’ve supported it. They need to honour it. (I’m also finding I approve of scout friends more than party friends in general, but maybe that’s me being a bit of a snob.)

This!

OneFrenchEgg · 07/07/2022 18:34

*funding

Runnerbeansflower · 07/07/2022 18:36

DD is 14, loves Scouts. Loads of different activities with other kids her age. Activities depend on the leaders though, luckily with DD's leaders they have a great range of qualified leaders for things like archery, sailing etc.