Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Chat

Join the discussion and chat with other Mumsnetters about everyday life, relationships and parenting.

Original poster

My 2 and a half year old has an operation this week- what would you tell him?

29 replies

quirkyquerty · 04/07/2022 22:48

My son has a small operation this week for an undescended testicle, he will have general anaesthetic and be sore when he wakes up.

What would you tell him before hand?

OP posts:
Original poster
quirkyquerty · 04/07/2022 22:49

Sorry, posted too soon. What would you tell him before hand? I don't want him to be scared, but equally don't want him worrying about it. He's 2 and a half has pretty good speech and will know that he's in a hospital and I'm worried he will be scared when he wakes up and not know what's going on

OP posts:
PicklePastry · 05/07/2022 05:58

I would tell him that you're going to the dr and they are going to make him sleepy and while he's sleepy they're going to give him medicine so that his body can do exactly what it's supposed to do and that when he wakes up you'll be there. The transition time out of anesthesia will be very brief and he won't remember it. He might be disoriented for a minute but he won't be aware of the time passing until you're with him, I don't think you need to prepare him for that part.

Paq · 05/07/2022 06:29

Can you find a picture book about a kid going to the hospital? Otherwise the previous answer was good.

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about these subjects:

Behaviour & development Children's health Families General health
CucumberCool · 05/07/2022 06:37

Be honest, use clear language and reassure. You might find this pdf leaflet helpful
foi.avon.nhs.uk/Download.aspx?did=22212&f=How%20Do%20I%20Prepare%20My%20Child%20For%20Coming%20Into%20Surgery-02.pdf

Kfjsjdbd · 05/07/2022 08:13

If you follow Big Little Feelings on Instagram they did a good piece on how to prep your young kid for surgery (though annoyingly I can’t find it now, sorry).

They described, in age appropriate language what would happen. Then acted it out with their toys so the kid felt totally comfortable with what to expect. I remember them practicing putting the mask on their teddy.

Soubriquet · 05/07/2022 08:25

My dd had an operation when she was 6 so a bit older than yours but she had to go under a general for it too.

The wards play assistant came to visit her, showed her what they would be using to have her go to sleep (cannula) and what will happen.

Dd was so unbothered by it all because she had been shown everything. We did have some tears when the cannula went in, but as soon as the anaesthesia hit, she was out like a light.

Ask the hospital if they have a play assistant (probably has a better term) and have them come and play with your ds. She/He will show your ds the cannula and let them play with it.

savehannah · 05/07/2022 08:29

My DS had surgery age 3. Try not to show that you're worried and just explain the doctors are going to make you sleep for a bit so they can do their job to help your body do everything right. And mummy will there when you go to sleep and when you wake up. Mine cried like crazy when he woke up and demanded marmite toast. Until he got it he was inconsolable but afterwards he was completely fine so I think he was just hungry!!

SteelCicada · 05/07/2022 11:38

Does he know which part of his body is involved? I think I would be showing him how his testicle that's stuck inside needs to come down next to the other one, then explaining that he will go to hospital with you and have special medicine to make him fall asleep so he won't feel anything hurting, then the doctors will make a small cut (or however they do it!) so they can pop his testicle down into the place where it's supposed to be. Then they stitch/stick the cut back together again and stop the sleeping medicine so he can wake up, and you'll be there waiting for him. Play therapists will show him the cannula beforehand, as pp mentioned.

My DD had surgery to correct a squint when she was 4. The main thing I remember is that coming round from the anaesthetic wasn't like waking up properly. She 'woke up' screaming and disorientated (not really properly awake at all), then went back into a normal sleep for about half an hour, and woke up normally from that. Has anyone else seen that happen?

Soubriquet · 05/07/2022 13:28

I woke up crying from my last anaesthesia. I was confused as hell.

It must be worse for little kids.

I then had to have a heated blanket put on me because I was shaking like hell. Recovered pretty quickly after that

GiltEdges · 05/07/2022 13:32

My DS had this operation in two stages, the first at a similar age to your DS and the second at age 3.

Honestly, it was completely fine. We talked in advance about going to the hospital and how he'd be going to sleep for a little while, but that mummy would be there when he woke up.

He took a long time to come round from the anaesthetic and was definitely sleepy/not quite himself for 24 hours, but wasn't in any pain. His recovery after that was remarkably rapid and he was back at nursery within the week.

Try not to worry.

Footle · 05/07/2022 20:10

Also, tell him there will be a present waiting for him when he wakes up. And make sure there is!

Soubriquet · 05/07/2022 20:21

Footle · 05/07/2022 20:10

Also, tell him there will be a present waiting for him when he wakes up. And make sure there is!

Oh forgot we did that too!

we took her to Smyths to pick out a new toy and she got it after the operation

CrotchetyQuaver · 05/07/2022 20:28

The hardest bit about this will be you having to be brave for him and staying jolly whilst he's scared. I just remember holding it all together being cheerful and relaxed for mine and bursting into tears (and that's really unusual for me) after mine had gone under the anaesthetic and I'd left the operating theatre bit. The nurse was very kind though. The rest of it was easy in comparison to that!

motogirl · 05/07/2022 20:42

Yes but I would only tell him just before you go

mummeeee · 05/07/2022 20:51

My DD has had lots of surgery. I suggest watching a few videos.
google ‘YouTube preparing a child for surgery NHS’ or similar.

watch them through yourself before watching them with your child to make sure they’re set in the uk, that they’re aimed at the right age etc. My dd felt so much more in control after watching these. We watched them lots of times and would found some bits to giggle at! Humour diffuses fear.

there are also books you can read - if you have chance to get to the library they’ll likely have some.

also, dressing up in a surgical gown. I had some at home do have given them to friends so they can ‘practice’ in them…but putting a dressing gown on backwards and role playing taking child’s temp etc can help.

My 2 and a half year old has an operation this week- what would you tell him?
solarbirdscalm · 05/07/2022 20:53

We also had a play worker come and describe on a teddy what would happen for an op. We watched loads of those CBeebies medical programmes in advance and got him a medical kit to play with.

If anyone hasn't said to you already, if they are put under by gas via a mask, they thrash around a lot and it can be very distressing to watch. DS also took a long time to come around and was very distressed at that point too - we were wheeled back to his room from surgery with me on the bed too as he was still crying constantly an hour or so later. However, he doesn't remember a thing about it now at age 8 (op was at 2 and 9 months).

mummeeee · 05/07/2022 20:58

The sort of book that might be good to read together. to the Hospital (First Experiences): 1 amzn.eu/2g9Ozc4 Going to the hospital

mummeeee · 05/07/2022 21:02

Don’t think that worked
again
to the Hospital (First Experiences): 1 amzn.eu/5uiyGib Book

mummeeee · 05/07/2022 21:02

Hmm, apologies, link isn’t working

MassiveSalad22 · 05/07/2022 21:09

It is working @mummeeee 😊

DelphiniumBlue · 05/07/2022 21:22

My DS had a similar op when he was about 7.
We were with him until he went under anaesthetic and were called to the recovery ward when he was coming round, so he wasn't awake and by himself at all.
Within an hour he was trying to get out of bed and crawl around with the other kids who'd had ops that morning.
I'd just tell him he's going to hospital with mum /dad so the doctor can sort out a little problem. He will have medicine so that it won't hurt too much, but it might be s bit sore after. Tell him it's not s big deal and don't let him see you you worrying.
Does he remember having vaccination jabs? Just downplay it and he will be fine.

quickbathroombreak · 05/07/2022 21:25

My DD had an operation at 3 on her hand. Beforehand we told her she was going to the hospital, she would breath in some special air to make her sleepy, and whilst asleep the doctors would fix her hand. She was very hospital/dr/anything medical phobic at the time so we avoided the word operation and anything about what they would do, and she didn't really ask. She knew in advance of it happening, and we agreed some treats for her to have before and after. I reassured her I would be with her until she went to sleep, and there when she woke up. Due to covid only 1 parent allowed with her which was tough.

She had to fast from breakfast until after the op which was at 4pm, and we were on the ward waiting from 12 - keeping her occupied was important, so she wasn't too alarmed seeing other children returning from their operations. We played phone games and watched films, and the nurses bought round toys too. It was looong, and I also felt I couldn't eat in front of her.

Going to sleep was fine, the gas smells like sweets which she thought was funny. She did have a meltdown shortly after waking up, was inconsolable and throwing herself about the bed - which was scary! Once she calmed down enough to have a biscuit she was fine. She was pretty fascinated by what had been done afterwards and not squeamish, which was a relief as normally if she cuts herself we hear about it daily for about 3 weeks afterwards lol. Be prepared for a long day, take whatever toys, tv/film etc can be used as distractions and favourite snacks for after. Good luck!

noway100 · 05/07/2022 21:28

I'm not sure at 2 1/2 you need to do or say much at all. Unless it has changed you will be able to stay until he is asleep and that might be enough. Why make him worry unnecessarily?

LetsPlayShadowlands · 05/07/2022 21:50

There is a good Daniel Tiger special on YouTube about him getting an operation in hospital, including anaesthetic. I'd highly recommend it.

user1471538283 · 05/07/2022 22:18

Yes I would tell him in age appropriate language. It's his body and he needs to feel he has some idea of what is happening.

When my DS had an operation everything was explained to him and I was there until he was under. I was there when he woke. Coming out from anaesthetic crying is very common. He had to drink loads to get it out of his system.

I hope it goes well