Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Chat

Join the discussion and chat with other Mumsnetters about everyday life, relationships and parenting.

Anyone else drinking

38 replies

HerRoyalHappiness · 04/07/2022 20:47

On a school night?

I've had a stressful couple of days. DS1 (13) was threatened with a knife by an older boy who wanted his phone. The same older boy who tried to kick our door in a few months ago and forced me to buy a doorbell camera. The police did nothing then.
They did nothing yesterday when my son dialled 999. Didn't even search the other boy for a knife. They said they couldn't as they had no reason to suspect he had a knife. Despite my son and his friend as witness saying he held one up to my son. So I've lodged a complaint with the police about their ineptitude.

On top of that DS1 also opened up that he's depressed. He's struggling with suicidal thoughts and it all stems back to how his dad treats him. His dad does nothing with him, told him to his face he doesn't like him as he's too much like me, told him he is a teenager now so he should be initiating contact with him if he wants it and basically treats him like crap compared to the little 2 (8 and almost 7). The little 2 get everything that they want. DS1 gets nothing. They get mcdonalds breakfast every week, DS1 doesnt even get a couple of quid for a bacon barm from the bakery.
The little two get bought new toys, nothing for DS1. The little two play games consoles with daddy, DS1 gets left out. It's frustrating for me as mum to see so it must be devastating to a child.
I phoned the doctors today and there's at least a 12 week wait to even speak to anyone about his depression. My poor boy 😔 he knows he can speak to me though and I'm so glad he did come to me before he self harmed (that's what pushed him to speak to me. He wanted to SH) and I could talk him down and reassure him that I'd always be there for him, no matter what he's my boy, my first born, the one who made me a mum and nothing will ever make me disappointed in him.
He seems a bit happier today just knowing I've contacted the doctor and the police for him. But I'm still stressed so I'm on the vodka. Who's joining me for a drink?

OP posts:
HerRoyalHappiness · 04/07/2022 21:26

Take that as a no 😂

OP posts:
Nugg · 04/07/2022 21:29

I am!! Cheers!

ImFuminHun · 04/07/2022 21:31

I'm not tonight but I just wanted to post.

Is his father your current husband or your ex?
Im sorry about to police thing. I really hope you get somewhere with the complaint.

They usually take months about it anyway and go through the "school police officer" and only address it months down the line.

Can you get some talking therapy for your son?

HerRoyalHappiness · 04/07/2022 21:48

@ImFuminHun he's my ex. We split 2 and a half years ago. He's more interested in finding a new partner than his kids it seems.
@Nugg cheers!

OP posts:
Nugg · 04/07/2022 21:51

I'm sorry I was so flippant earlier. There must be access to something out there for children. Surely. Like Samaritans?

knackeredagain · 04/07/2022 21:53

I’m not drinking tonight but I have on many nights in your circumstances. You have a huge amount on your plate, so have a virtual one with me for solidarity. And a large glass of water before bed xx

ApolloandDaphne · 04/07/2022 21:56

I am but I am on holiday.

CuriousMama · 04/07/2022 22:04

Yes been working a lot all weekend back tomorrow. Nothing compared to all your stress my job is easy. I'm so sorry about your son.
Have you looked at these?
www.youngminds.org.uk/

I'm drinking aperol spritz. DH has a new hobby making cocktails.

CuriousMama · 04/07/2022 22:06

Plus you really need to make huge waves about the way your son's been treated by the police.

policeconduct.gov.uk/

HerRoyalHappiness · 04/07/2022 22:33

Thank you so much. I am absolutely furious about how the police have treated him

I've given him the numbers for young minds, shout and samaritans and they're saved in his phone in case he needs help.

OP posts:
CuriousMama · 04/07/2022 22:41

Use that anger and make waves. Contact the local press. Your MP. Anyone but don't allow this. He's your son you need to fight for him.

EmmiJay · 04/07/2022 23:02

Well. Unfortunately, I had to have a drink to calm my nerves today because of a very similar situation to yours OP. A school mum/friends son was almost robbed for his bag right in front of me, as he went to pick up his little brother from school. It was so quick and before I knew it, I had him in the school office with the police on the phone and was trying to stay calm for the little ones we'd just had to collect. Insanity. I hope your son gets all the help he needs and echoing pp, make waves x

HerRoyalHappiness · 04/07/2022 23:14

@EmmiJay I'm so sorry you went through that and I hope it's sorted ASAP.

OP posts:
HerRoyalHappiness · 05/07/2022 01:22

I'm still awake, stressed about what's happened with DS1. I wish I could wave a magic wand and make it all better. I'm phoning the school tomorrow to see if there's anything that they can offer him to support him as he's struggling with home life.

OP posts:
Mediumred · 05/07/2022 01:37

I am so sorry to hear this, I hope school can help. I really feel for your lovely lad going through so much, but he is lucky in one respect - a mum who really cares and advocates for him, and that is a brilliant thing. You have your drink and I hope things seem brighter tomorrow but know you are doing everything you can for your son.

HerRoyalHappiness · 05/07/2022 06:29

Thank you all for keeping me company last night, drinking or not. Part of me really wanted to phone the ex and rant at him about how his shitty parenting has affected our son, but I knew that would do no good. Will just make Ex defensive.
I'm phoning the school today to see if they have anyone he can talk to while awaiting counselling and my lovely friend has bought him a mood diary then he can get his thought out if his head and it has mindfulness activities in that he can try when he's feeling low.

OP posts:
CuriousMama · 05/07/2022 09:50

It's awful. Is the lad who threatened him at his school? I really think the police need to be involved.

HerRoyalHappiness · 05/07/2022 10:29

Luckily no he's not at his school. The boy has been kicked out of most schools due to violence. I agree the police need to be involved. Its just trying to force them to listen and take note of what's going on.

OP posts:
CuriousMama · 05/07/2022 11:20

Did you ring 999 when it happened?

HerRoyalHappiness · 05/07/2022 11:47

My son did yes. They took his name and address and the police turned up to talk to the boys but said as there was no reason to suspect this boy had a knife, he couldn't search him then he sent the boys home.

OP posts:
CuriousMama · 05/07/2022 12:18

Honestly it's shocking. They just can't be arsed can they? I'd definitely do a complaint.

HerRoyalHappiness · 05/07/2022 12:24

I have done. I'm just waiting to hear back off them. Which I probably won't.

OP posts:
CuriousMama · 05/07/2022 12:49

Go above. Honestly it's unbelievable they've taken this so lightly. It's threat to life. That lad will end up doing harm and maybe killing someone one day.

HerRoyalHappiness · 05/07/2022 12:52

I know. It scares me that he's just left to roam. This happened with another boy I knew. He was same age as my younger brother. Spent his life threatening people then stabbed someone to death over £20. He's only 20 and being sent to prison for years. The police need to start nipping this kind of thing in the bud before it gets to the point where people end up dead.

OP posts:
CuriousMama · 05/07/2022 12:52

Have you emailed here?

Anyone else drinking