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Anyone with both partners working just not coping ?

52 replies

theyhavenothingbuttheaudacity · 04/07/2022 13:39

Both work. No financial help available
No cloth to cut
We are drowning and I'm scared what happens next

OP posts:
pitchforksandflamethrowers · 04/07/2022 13:41

Have you got kids ? What are your expeditures vs hold hold income ? If it helps a small bit. Your not alone !

CoastalWave · 04/07/2022 13:45

Yep. Same.

Already on Aldi lowest price etc. Everything cut back to the bone as it was. Fuel bill has double as has the gas/electric. Savings very low after covid hit last year.

Panicking about how to afford x2 new school shoes and uniform in September. Credit card bill is enormous.

theyhavenothingbuttheaudacity · 04/07/2022 14:03

I have three kids which yes I know is a huge expensive . They love their food!
We have high outgoings as in petrol as we need cars for our jobs - I need mine to travel to jobs but my DH has started life sharing so we've cut that. Cut supermarket spending by going to aldi/company shop
Got rid of tv package
We have literally zero left to save. God knows how we will manage Christmas this year. I've took one some extra work where I can get it but health wise I'm suffering (depression and ME) and it's just still hell on Earth
I don't know how this will help but meh thank you so much for listening

OP posts:
ComtesseDeSpair · 04/07/2022 14:32

If there’s genuinely no expenditure you can cut (are you sure? Could you downsize your home for lower mortgage or rent?) then you need to look at upping your income. Could one of you work an evening or weekend job? What’s your scope for switching jobs? Often the same sort of role in a different industry or sector can come with a huge leap in pay.

ComtesseDeSpair · 04/07/2022 14:40

And hang on, if I recognise your username correctly you started another thread recently about your OH playing golf both days of the weekend regularly. Because a) that doesn’t come cheap and you can definitely revisit your outgoings to look at how many non-essentials you’re spending on and b) if he’s time to go out playing like that then he has time for weekend work.

theyhavenothingbuttheaudacity · 04/07/2022 15:51

ComtesseDeSpair · 04/07/2022 14:40

And hang on, if I recognise your username correctly you started another thread recently about your OH playing golf both days of the weekend regularly. Because a) that doesn’t come cheap and you can definitely revisit your outgoings to look at how many non-essentials you’re spending on and b) if he’s time to go out playing like that then he has time for weekend work.

Ha ha yes this is certainly another bone of contention trust me

OP posts:
SandysMam · 04/07/2022 17:17

I think there’s a big difference between genuinely being on your knees and just not being able to afford the lifestyle you want. Which one are you Op?

MostlyHappyMummy · 04/07/2022 17:20

Did you really just say that your husband would prioritise his golf over school shoes for your kids?

ZaraSizeMedium · 04/07/2022 17:21

No cloth to cut

or

OH playing golf both days of a weekend

Which is it OP?

berksandbeyond · 04/07/2022 17:28

As is so often the case on here, you have a DH problem

AffIt · 04/07/2022 17:34

If you are literally on the bones of your arse yet your OH is playing golf two days out of seven, then I see four possibilities:

a) Your OH has a club membership, which he can give up
b) Your OH doesn't have a membership, but pays green fees, which he can give up
c) Your OH owns a set of possibly quite expensive clubs, which he can sell
d) Your OH has two days of free time a week, one of which could be used to earn extra income

As previous posters have noted, you have an OH problem here.

(Also, I don't have kids and I am all for people having hobbies, but seriously, what kind of selfish arsehole puts golf before their kids having shoes?!)

BornIn78 · 04/07/2022 17:34

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BellyDancer124 · 04/07/2022 21:19

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QueSyrahSyrah · 04/07/2022 21:41

If you have £100k equity in your house as per your thread in May can you release a bit of it? Short term solution but if you're on your arse...

sleepyhoglet · 04/07/2022 21:42

Well this has backfired for the OP!

theyhavenothingbuttheaudacity · 05/07/2022 11:28

Nothing has backfired for me

I haven't been to any music festival (haven't got enough money)

My OH I have been with on and off for several years whilst dating others when we have not been together

The kids are not his

OP posts:
theyhavenothingbuttheaudacity · 05/07/2022 11:29

QueSyrahSyrah · 04/07/2022 21:41

If you have £100k equity in your house as per your thread in May can you release a bit of it? Short term solution but if you're on your arse...

I didn't think you could do that until you were retirement age?

OP posts:
Foreheadwoes · 05/07/2022 11:31

I'll bite...

OP what is your household income per month (net), and what are your current outgoings?

theyhavenothingbuttheaudacity · 05/07/2022 11:33

Foreheadwoes · 05/07/2022 11:31

I'll bite...

OP what is your household income per month (net), and what are your current outgoings?

Don't trouble yourself Smile

OP posts:
Foreheadwoes · 05/07/2022 11:35

What do you want from your thread?

Dancinginthedark01 · 05/07/2022 11:39

Sounds like you would be better off single then if you’re not married, the kids aren’t his and you’re seeing other people anyway. You could top up your salary with universal credit?

theyhavenothingbuttheaudacity · 05/07/2022 11:41

Dancinginthedark01 · 05/07/2022 11:39

Sounds like you would be better off single then if you’re not married, the kids aren’t his and you’re seeing other people anyway. You could top up your salary with universal credit?

I'm not seeing anyone else currently

I'm slightly above the threshold for UC sadly

OP posts:
palygold · 05/07/2022 11:42

Do you have debt?

I don't know if you'd find it helpful to list outgoings and income so we can offer advice, but you might be better placed to contact an organisation like StepChange. I'm sure they help with things like budget.

ComtesseDeSpair · 05/07/2022 11:46

theyhavenothingbuttheaudacity · 05/07/2022 11:41

I'm not seeing anyone else currently

I'm slightly above the threshold for UC sadly

But if your OH is prioritising spending hundreds of not thousands a year on his hobby whilst you describe the household as drowning financially and are worrying about how you’re going to buy Christmas presents for your DC this year, what is he bringing to your life?

MobLife · 05/07/2022 11:49

palygold · 05/07/2022 11:42

Do you have debt?

I don't know if you'd find it helpful to list outgoings and income so we can offer advice, but you might be better placed to contact an organisation like StepChange. I'm sure they help with things like budget.

OP didn't seem that keen on listing expenditure when a PP suggested the same....

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